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Page 33 text:
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Page II THE SOPHOMORE SCREECH and VACUUM SWEEPER 1933-1934 parts are also divided into four tribes. Of these the Sophomori are the strongest and the most powerful, as they strike fear into the hearts of their effeminate neighbors. Why the Sophomores Were Easily Persuaded to Migrate 2. Among the most noble 1 of this tribe was Milletus. He had formed a plot to deceive the Sophomori and give them an examination which ought to be beyond all hope of their passing; ard he was thus, this thing having been announced, able to persuade them not to delay but to fight, struggle or hasten 3 to Florida for the purpose of avoid- ing 1 the examination. Notes : It is believed that noble is here used because of the fear and respect that the Sopho- mores held for this leader. Believed to be some form of primitive torture. Definition doubtful. ' See 487, NOTE. When this manuscript was unearthed ten years ago, it was in a highly de- lapidated condition, making fur- ther translation impossible. SANER READING In reading this article it is necessary to read the first line from left to right, the second line from right to left, etc. BIOLOGY CLASS GOES AFIELD Last Friday, the 13th, the divi- -yduts ssalc seromohpoS eht fo nois ing the science of Biology ventured etagitsevni ot moorssalc rieht morf the character of the flora and fauna retf A .niarret gnidnuorrus eht fo proceeding from the school, they -ev dna selibomotua rieht deretne hiculated to a nearby forest pre- -meht detacirtxe yeht erehT .evres selves from their motor vehicles gniruD .etalubmaed ot nageb dna their deambulations they saw sev- eht fo rebmem a ,ilponaM lare group experienced an unfortunate -lem sipA rekrow a htiw retnuocne lifica, and another of them met up .nordnedodixoT suhR emos htiw -29-
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Page 32 text:
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} . J v SOPHOMORES CLASS 1936 THE SOPHOMORE SCREECH AND VACUUM SWEEPER Volume I 1933-1934 Number 1 FAMOUS DOCUMENT FINALLY TRANSLATED SOPHSCREECH MERGES WITH VACUUM SWEEPER The managements of the VAC- UUM SWEEPER and the SOPH- OMORE SCREECH are pleased to announce that they have merged into one newspaper in order to produce a larger and better paper and to dispense with unfair rivalry. Under our new management we hope to introduce a new and saner method of reading and writing. It has been discovered in our scien- tific laboratories that this writing may be read faster and strains the eyes less than any other type. We honestly believe that it will be in universal use within five years. On the next page, column 2 is an article printed in this style. advertisement .... advertisement PATRONIZE YOUR SCHOOL LUNCH ROOM 5 cent sundaes 10 cents week days VALUABLE INFORMATION OBTAINED AFTER TEN YEARS OF HARD LABOR We submit the document as translated by the more brilliant members of the Sophomore Latin Class. SOPHOMORES: SOPHIC WARS (1934 A. D.) BOOK I The geography of Dunlap, its Di- visions and Peoples 1. Dunlapia as a whole is di- vided into two parts of which the Masculini inhabit one and the Feminae inhabit the other. These (Continued next page, column 1) -28—
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Page 34 text:
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=? FRESHMEN V ' M CLASS OF 1937 IT ' S THE FRESHMEN I N THE village ef Winnetka, IL In the glorious time of fall, Came the Freshmen full of wonder, Ready for their studies all. Into Dunlap they came trooping, Into Dunlap to their hooks; Studied hard ' til dancing skeletons Turned all thought away from books. Their Christmas play unearthed new talents ; Held spectators awed by beauty rare, Rightly proud of their achievements Went they home without a care. From vacation ' s peaceful pleasures, From vacation ' s endless fun, Came the sleepless nights of worry; Came exam work to be done. Only strenuous hours of labor, Carried the Freshmen through this plight. Little Women held with gayness, Brought again the class to light. By the time the dance was over, All the classes did agree, Never would there be one like it In their North Shore ' s history. ■ —30-
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