North Quincy High School - Manet Yearbook (North Quincy, MA)

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A number 1 gossipers and could ruin more reputations in five minutes that the ambitious English gentry could build in five generations. So far so good. But consider the ratio, a cup of coffee per ruined reputa- tion, and, totalling the cups of cof- fee, you arrive at a staggering amount of liquid, disregarding sugar, cream, and crumpets. The English society, in short, was spending every cent of that vast amount of money it didn't possess merely to feed its gossipers a decent amount of spirited coffee. When they arrived at the point where they had no more of someone's money to spend they ef- fected a reversal in fundamentals. At an emergnecy meeting of the Society Board of Blah the cogno- scenti fixed a new ratio of five repu- tations per game of bridge. Hence, you can see how the term 'grand slam' came into being. Barnabus Patrick was now famous, he was eventually knighted and died as Sir Barnabus Patrick O'Brydge, Earl of Humdrum, Founder of Brydge, and Protector of Parsnips. Time Marches On! 8 if S lk l The seven years' war! Famine! Carnage! Desolation! And Fred- erick the Great reaches the pinnacle of fame as the inventor of the 'Finesse'. The 'Finesse' is a ma- noeuver wherein you have the ace and the Jackg your opponent on the right, the Kingg and your partner, the Queen. Upon peeking in his hand while he reaches for an olive you observe the set-up and lead your Jack. If he lays off with his King, fearing the ace the doesn't cheatj he makes your Jack good. This piece of strategy laid the basis for Frederick's future political ac- tion. ll i lk if lk The Marquis of Mock, Philipe de la Phloppe, is commissioned to buy land in the New World. He carries out his orders and buys New Jersey for a pack of pinochle cards and a pamphlet on auction whist from the Algonquins. The Algonquins per- ceive the hoax too late, but being good losers, decide to take a try at some high class philan-dering them- selves. Thereupon, they invite the Seminole tribe up one afternoon for a bridge party and skin them out of house and home. But the Algon- quins don't like alligators and the Seminoles don't like sugar-cane and the result is King Philip's War . Time Marches On! Il! if il lk Ik Napoleon is sweeping across Eu- rope filling all nations with terror and leaving destruction in his path. On he roars, on to Waterloo. The inevitable meeting-the Iron Duke and the Little General! The ensuing battle, Napoleon's crushing defeat! And all because the Duke of Well- lington had a psychological ad- vantage! He had met Napoleon long before at a tea given by the latter at Versailles. During the course of the party, the Duke and his friend, the Earl of Letdown, had beaten Napoleon and Marshal Hey in three straight rubbers. Each time the rubber had depended on one play and each time the Duke had put over a psychic bid and sunk his opponents. This was the real cause of Napoleon's Waterloo. 42 lk lk Ik lk Years later! Another terrible war -this time between hostile factions MANET S

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va Jam., of awp by Willie Byron During the late reign of James I, first of the Stuart line to rile England, Barnabus Patrick O'Bridge was born in a little hay-thatched bungalow in the suburbs of Hunkhew, Flumdumberlin County, Ireland. His father was Michael Aloysius O'Bridge, a parsnip merchant, who grew a variety of parsnip, now extinct, but then very popular as Irish Greens . His mother was Maggie Murphy O'Dowd whose chief occupation in life was to pick and pepper Poppa's parsnips. Barnabus' early existence was spent in growing up, his youth passed regretting it, and he recahed middle age only after he had passed his young-man- hood picking potatoes in the neighboring fields. When his mother died and his father went to Haiti to experiment with bananas, Barnabus, having been left an annuity, moved to London and passed his second childhood therein. Barnabus was a callow cynic. He soon developed a sneer-like sneer and for a While was content in mastering a complete line of sneers. However, Barnabus began to tire of slum society and suburbanity. Time dragged and his humdrum existence bored the caustic ibut none-the-less subtlel cynic. Barnabus finally decided to adopt a hobby and to adopt one satisfying all the qualifications he set up as requisite. Herein, our hero came to an impasse. No conventional hobby was satisfactory, all demanded a surplus of attention and activity, and Barnabus couldn't even summon a mite of the above-mentioned. However, his inherent genius rose to a new peak. If he couldn't find a satisfactory hobby, he'd create one according to his own requirements. He now commenced to model a game along the lines of poker and fifty- two pick-up. The game thus concocted was called bridge after its founder and Barnabus soon became exceedingly proficient in it. We can lay this proficiency to the fact that Barny was well fitted to the game so well fitted to him. He bore a physique marvelously adapted to easy chairs, he could sit for hours blankly blinking, and he learned at an early age to blunder blindly and yet maintain an indifferent and nonchalant air. Barnabus' Book of Rules and Requirements for the Successful Conduct of a Gayme of Brydge was published in 1684 by the Scratch and Scrape Printing Company of London. The original copy still remains resting piece-fully in a plush case at the Hunkhew School of Higher Learnings, Hunkew, Flurndumberlin County, Ireland. This novel and intriguing amusement was immediately taken up by the smug members of English society for economy's sake. For generations, groups had met and gossiped over coffee until this quaint little habit grew to a custom, and was religiously carried on by suc- ceeding generations. But the present members of English society were 4 MANET

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of one nation. The Civil War caused, they say, by differences concerning slave states and free states, concern- ing slavery and abolition. But the real cause-aha! In the National Bridge Tourney of 1850, the first thirteen to place were Northern States' entrees. The Southern Bridge Association protested the Tourney and followings severed re- lations with the Northern faction. In retaliation, independent Northern bridge addicts raided Harper's Ferry and destroyed a large amount of bridge cards stored there. The war followed. wk Ik Ill Ill ll' The inevitable let-down! Thou- sands of bridge-sick citizens search- ing for a Utopia for con-bridge-ers. The result was the migration to the West. What's an Indian compared to a garrulous Bridge player. ik Ik Pk 'lf Ill The sad period of cheap labor. Then relief for the poor worker! Unions, Federations of Unions! The mobilization of the laborers! And the start of the unions can honestly be laid to bridge. Conditions of bridge parties were such as to de- mand some sort of governing body. Some power was needed to regulate booby-prizes, to maintain law and order, and to outlaw professional players. So the Coalition of Bridge Players was formed, and from this coalition sprung the modern union. Indeed, the C. I. O. revolted against the A. F. of L. because of a difference of opinion concerning the psycho- logical advantages of secfond-hand- low. 214 Sk if Ik Ik The Caponian era. Gangs and rackets! Years of futile attempts to jail the Big Shot. Then, success! Al Capone was sentenced to prison, 6 MANET confined to a small cell with a shy- ster lawyer who was up for five years. Capone goes through the nerve wracking period of monotony. He longs for his daily ru-bber. But two can't play bridge, at least, two couldn't until Capone invented Honeymoon bridge and played it every evening with his inmate. Ill lk ik IF lk Time passes. We reach the Cul- bertson era of Bridge, now an in- tricate game. For further reference, inquire of Culbertson. l- Gone 70114 7fze 7ifincf by Leonore Johnson '39 As he stood up, Joe felt suddenly alone. Tense, eager faces strained up at him, waiting for the crucial moment. He had waited a whole year for this event, yet now he felt suddenly weak, and inadequate, for what if he should fail? How would he ever hold his head up again? He could almost hear the taunting, sar- castic laughs which would be the re- sult of a failure. Therefore, he stretched to his full height and bowed majestically. All-right, he said, will you please dim the lights? The room, which had seemed so large before, seemed to hold only a. sea of hostile, expectant faces. Silently, he wished, Oh, let it be a success. Let me earn their respect, this once. He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, and. . .whoofl It was over! All at once he heard a cheer, so fear- fully, he glanced downward. At what he saw, his countenance lit up, and a smile crossed his face, for he had done it! He had blown out all the candles on his birthday cake!