North Quincy High School - Manet Yearbook (North Quincy, MA)

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va Jam., of awp by Willie Byron During the late reign of James I, first of the Stuart line to rile England, Barnabus Patrick O'Bridge was born in a little hay-thatched bungalow in the suburbs of Hunkhew, Flumdumberlin County, Ireland. His father was Michael Aloysius O'Bridge, a parsnip merchant, who grew a variety of parsnip, now extinct, but then very popular as Irish Greens . His mother was Maggie Murphy O'Dowd whose chief occupation in life was to pick and pepper Poppa's parsnips. Barnabus' early existence was spent in growing up, his youth passed regretting it, and he recahed middle age only after he had passed his young-man- hood picking potatoes in the neighboring fields. When his mother died and his father went to Haiti to experiment with bananas, Barnabus, having been left an annuity, moved to London and passed his second childhood therein. Barnabus was a callow cynic. He soon developed a sneer-like sneer and for a While was content in mastering a complete line of sneers. However, Barnabus began to tire of slum society and suburbanity. Time dragged and his humdrum existence bored the caustic ibut none-the-less subtlel cynic. Barnabus finally decided to adopt a hobby and to adopt one satisfying all the qualifications he set up as requisite. Herein, our hero came to an impasse. No conventional hobby was satisfactory, all demanded a surplus of attention and activity, and Barnabus couldn't even summon a mite of the above-mentioned. However, his inherent genius rose to a new peak. If he couldn't find a satisfactory hobby, he'd create one according to his own requirements. He now commenced to model a game along the lines of poker and fifty- two pick-up. The game thus concocted was called bridge after its founder and Barnabus soon became exceedingly proficient in it. We can lay this proficiency to the fact that Barny was well fitted to the game so well fitted to him. He bore a physique marvelously adapted to easy chairs, he could sit for hours blankly blinking, and he learned at an early age to blunder blindly and yet maintain an indifferent and nonchalant air. Barnabus' Book of Rules and Requirements for the Successful Conduct of a Gayme of Brydge was published in 1684 by the Scratch and Scrape Printing Company of London. The original copy still remains resting piece-fully in a plush case at the Hunkhew School of Higher Learnings, Hunkew, Flurndumberlin County, Ireland. This novel and intriguing amusement was immediately taken up by the smug members of English society for economy's sake. For generations, groups had met and gossiped over coffee until this quaint little habit grew to a custom, and was religiously carried on by suc- ceeding generations. But the present members of English society were 4 MANET

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As in this world, so in this school, We have the smart and low set, To those Whose noses face the sky We dedicate this booklet. www And also to the ones who are More humble in position, We thank, and praise, and offer them More edible nutrition. sweep To each's taste, the low's, the high's, We give a palatable diet, So open up the pages now, And taste, and sip, and try it. Kenneth Henry '38

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A number 1 gossipers and could ruin more reputations in five minutes that the ambitious English gentry could build in five generations. So far so good. But consider the ratio, a cup of coffee per ruined reputa- tion, and, totalling the cups of cof- fee, you arrive at a staggering amount of liquid, disregarding sugar, cream, and crumpets. The English society, in short, was spending every cent of that vast amount of money it didn't possess merely to feed its gossipers a decent amount of spirited coffee. When they arrived at the point where they had no more of someone's money to spend they ef- fected a reversal in fundamentals. At an emergnecy meeting of the Society Board of Blah the cogno- scenti fixed a new ratio of five repu- tations per game of bridge. Hence, you can see how the term 'grand slam' came into being. Barnabus Patrick was now famous, he was eventually knighted and died as Sir Barnabus Patrick O'Brydge, Earl of Humdrum, Founder of Brydge, and Protector of Parsnips. Time Marches On! 8 if S lk l The seven years' war! Famine! Carnage! Desolation! And Fred- erick the Great reaches the pinnacle of fame as the inventor of the 'Finesse'. The 'Finesse' is a ma- noeuver wherein you have the ace and the Jackg your opponent on the right, the Kingg and your partner, the Queen. Upon peeking in his hand while he reaches for an olive you observe the set-up and lead your Jack. If he lays off with his King, fearing the ace the doesn't cheatj he makes your Jack good. This piece of strategy laid the basis for Frederick's future political ac- tion. ll i lk if lk The Marquis of Mock, Philipe de la Phloppe, is commissioned to buy land in the New World. He carries out his orders and buys New Jersey for a pack of pinochle cards and a pamphlet on auction whist from the Algonquins. The Algonquins per- ceive the hoax too late, but being good losers, decide to take a try at some high class philan-dering them- selves. Thereupon, they invite the Seminole tribe up one afternoon for a bridge party and skin them out of house and home. But the Algon- quins don't like alligators and the Seminoles don't like sugar-cane and the result is King Philip's War . Time Marches On! Il! if il lk Ik Napoleon is sweeping across Eu- rope filling all nations with terror and leaving destruction in his path. On he roars, on to Waterloo. The inevitable meeting-the Iron Duke and the Little General! The ensuing battle, Napoleon's crushing defeat! And all because the Duke of Well- lington had a psychological ad- vantage! He had met Napoleon long before at a tea given by the latter at Versailles. During the course of the party, the Duke and his friend, the Earl of Letdown, had beaten Napoleon and Marshal Hey in three straight rubbers. Each time the rubber had depended on one play and each time the Duke had put over a psychic bid and sunk his opponents. This was the real cause of Napoleon's Waterloo. 42 lk lk Ik lk Years later! Another terrible war -this time between hostile factions MANET S