North Carolina Central University - Eagle Yearbook (Durham, NC)

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The N. C. C. EAGLE Ball Player: We gave the umpire fifty bucks to let us win the game. Friend : And still you lost ? flayer : Yeah — the umpire was crooked. Definitions Democracy is an overgrown infant bawling for the moon which it does not want. Popularity is a pleasant visitor who always leaves in the morning. infinity is a floorless room without walls or ceiling. Literature is the voice of a hundred billion souls crying in the darkness for an explanation. College Girl : Father, who was it who said. Two live as cheaply as one ? Father: 1 don ' t know, daughter, but lie never bought dinner for a couple of elephants. Difficult Customer: I don ' t think you ' ve properly fixed this silencer yet. It keeps on going, Phut, phut, phut. Garage Man : I ' ll have another look and see what I can do. Is there anything particular you ' d like it to say instead ? Chemistry Teacher: What was the first nitride? Frosh : Paul Revere ' s. Lady From Town: Why do you go over the potato field with such a heavy roller? Peasant : Because I want to grow mashed potatoes this year. Doctor: What is your profession? Patient (pompously I : I ' m a gentleman. Doctor: Well, you ' ll have to try something else; it doesn ' t agree with you. Father : Why were you kept in at school ? Son: I did ' nt know where the Azores were. Father: In the future just remember where you put things. First Drunken Student : Whatcha doing? Second Drunken Student : Got to get these rocks together. 1st D. S. : Why don ' t you push the little one to the big one? 2nd D, S.: Xaw, the big one ' s closer to the little one?

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i ri i r i Ci r r Ti r The N. C. C. EAGLE My father is a professor. i Hi. yell? Veh. And what does he do for a living? He: Have you ever been kissed by a big, strong, handsome man? She: No, could you lix it up for me some night ? Say, that fellow Oscar was so lubricated last night that he sold the postoffice. Well, why so down in the mouth about it? Because 1 bought it. Pupil : Is it correct to walk down a hotel corridor i n your pajamas? Teacher: That depends on the pajamas. At the Sanitarium Hello, how ' s your nose? ( Hi. shut up. Mohammet. So ' s mine. It ' s these blamed spring colds. Student (to elderly aunt): Let ' s walk down. Aunt Melinda. I want you to see our football field. Aunt Melinda (trying to please) : ( )h. how sweet; I ' ve always been anxious to see a field of footballs in full bloom. Sign on Drug Store: Take home a brick, you may have company. Teacher: The word alimony, dear pupils, is merely a contradiction of all his money. Does the coach have the team under control? Does be? Say, every time be gets a headache everyone on the varsity takes an aspirin. I lave you any religion? I certainly have. I am a very devout atheist. College Student (having surrendered bis seat) : I beg your pardi Co-ed: 1 didn ' t speak. Student: I ' m sorry. I thought you said, Thank you.

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The N. C. C. EAGLE A Mormon Wedding Preacher (to groom) : Do you take these women to he your lawfully wedded wives ? Groom : I do. Preacher (to brides): Do you take this man to he your lawfully wedded husband ? Brides : We do. Preacher: Some of you girls there in the back will have to speak louder if you want to be included in this. ' hiii] y: Say, young man, do you know who I am? Wise Soph : I don ' t know, guess I do. Vampy : Well, I want to go home. Wise Soph : Go ' head, I don ' t care. Nothing But the Truth Honest. Judge, I can ' t tell a lie. I did it with my little hatchet in a moment of temporary insanity. Of Course Diner : What ' s special today ? Waiter: What we couldn ' t get rid of yesterday. Teacher: Give me a sentence with the wind anticipating. Student : He spent the night in drinking, gambling, anticipating. He: Life without you would be an awful void. She: Why don ' t you say hell and be done with it? What made you so exhilarated last night ' ■ . Rushing through the ether. Flying. No, drinking beer. What ' s the Rush? He: Every time I kiss you it makes me a better man. She: Well, you don ' t have to become perfect in one night. Teacher : What is Boston noted for? Johnny : Boots and shoes. Teacher: Correct. And Chicago? Johnny: Shoots and booze. Getting Away With Murder The meanest man in the world: He shaves in bis wife ' s presence just so as be can get away with making faces at her. [29]