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Page 95 text:
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I Big Game Is Scheduled As a change from potatoes -try volley-ball! This from jack Bloom, erstwhile master of the pastime in question. Pielmeier, a protege of the master, tells a story concern- ing Bloom while the latter was teaching the Weasel funda- mentals of the game. Wl1ile I was dressing for my first lesson, tells Piel- meier, Instructor Bloom was giving me the low-down and high-up on the dynamic game of volley-hall. VVhen l came on the floor, a startling spec- tacle confronted me. There, in one grand heap, were two howling halls, four polo mal- lcts, two suits of armor, eight yards of lead pipe, a half doz- en moukey-wreuchcs, two sir- ens and a pair of twin-holiby- horses. And I thought I was going to learn to play volley- ball. Says Brother jack, Hey! where you going? Hey! Hey? NVell, VVell, l'll he-P Three Degrees Given At the Bachelor ceremonies this morning, the following de- grees werc awarded with much gusto: : O. VV. G.--tOhVVhataGuyj -Zimlich B. B. D.-KBoopBoopaDoopJ -Rapp M. B.-fMother's Boyj Mineo B. P. IQ. it ' CBeauty Placed Elsewhereb-Hower Q. Q. Q.-CCute, Cute, Cutej -Meyer B. I.-CBlissful Ignorancej -Simpson H. C. C.-ClA'lot-Cha-ChaJ- Nelson B. B. D.-CBeautifulBut Dumlmj-Stahl VV. VV. W.-CVVell,VVell, Wellj-Gordon Did anyone ask Lenny Piel- meier about the peanut hutter proposition? He certainly fixed it. LOCAL BOY MAKES GOOD PRY, OUTSTANDING IN PERFORMANCE Olympic Entries Increased This is the story of two of the most spectacular perform- ers Normal is planning on sending to Los Angeles fHOH1C for Delicate Peoplej. One, the taller of the two, is as daring and sensational an ar- tist as ever came out of the North, he specializes in work- ing the flying rings and the horizontal liar Calso any inno- cent students who happen alongj. The other, the more reserved and the shorter of the pair, amazes and astounds thousands by his In-eatlt-tale ing and melodramatic stunts on the parallel liars and the mat. Both are now in arduous training for the approaching Olympic Games, they are looked upon as Uncle Sam's mainstays and upon their shoulders rests the burden of carrying the uation's hopes to the fore. Amcrica's Last Hopes! l-Iats off and give these local lmoys a good hand- Parsou Nelson and Mitt Mnto. Bloom, looking out window -l see it's getting warmer. Geoghan, from under 8 blan- kets-How can you tell? Bloom-I see a man with only l overcoat on. - Athletes' Foot Race One of the features in the coming Olympics will he the Athlete's foot race. The list of entries is quite long since 4 out of 5 have it. The prize is a gold Before the start of the Mar- athon event in the track meet held at Brosius-on-the-Lake Cusually in the lakej, Pry- lmylski was prancing around like a well-primed steed, and act- ing the part of a truck horse by eating lumps of sugar, and downing Bromos by the dozen, and eating watermelon on the half shell. The gun! Pry was off like a whippet! He passed the quarter mile mark, a quar- ter mile ahead of the field. VVhat's all the shouting for? Oh, the gun wasn't even tired. Good old Pry! Back again for a restart. They're oft! Pry goes down in a heap-he's up, he's up, he's up! And then he took the road to Milwaukee. It was a half hour before the officials finally straightened him out. And he won the race- such crust! Are you the gentleman who gave my hrother a clog last week? I am the man. Well, mother says to come and take them all back. Ye Editor After reading this, I rather imagine that you will think it is a lot of silly Iiosh-believe it or not-however, do not mis- .ake our intentions-this is only humor-no sarcasm meant. ARE YOU A WALLFLOWER ? Spring into Popularity! Learn Tumbling R. Lynn and E. Sturm Are You Afraid of lined bottle of Alisorh- Vvater? ine, Jr, Swimming Instructions Mother-May I go by out to play? ODEN Page Eiyllty-nine'
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Page 94 text:
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MAS-I' HEAD Olll' Prize Poetry S0-S0-S0-I-ETTY Price - Free - For Nothing- Ode T0 The Pier Miss Hilmer Joins Navy Costs Nothing Save a Smile Wallcixig and hauling- Sees World ' Eflii0T-itll-Grief ........,... ..,,,..., S tubhy Managing-'1'he-Editor ......... lliffy Snorts Editor ,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,, I 70551 I i . lCCClll'lfS ..., ..,,.... ,.... .... ,,,,, , , ,,,,,, C 0 1111143 Member of The International Onion Association-- Still Going Strong- Hot-Cha - Cha. Campaign Speech Broad- casted The following was taken vertim when the campaign speech by Bill Schae-'32, now running for president, was giv- eu over the radio: After you people have so kindly elected me as your Na- tional Leader, 'l, propose to make this country toe the mark. Tl1ere's to be no jump- ing the gun! After all-the reason for this condition is simple enough - you folks didn't know me at the time of the last presidential election. l am planning on making some reforms at the Normal College also. The campus is to be enlarged by 39999,999 eu. ft, upon the passage of The enlargement Bill through Con- gress. An elevator will be in- stalled for the exclusive use of students in gytn costume-no immodest walking through the halls. More Records Broken By Klier This morning the Float Lounging record was smashed by Bill Klier- who made the astounding announcement that he has sat for a total of 333 1-3 hours on the Mess Hall Steps. VVhether all that time was spent waiting for Mess or a Miss is another thing. What are you going to do when you graduate? You mean what am I going to do if 1 graduate. Page Eiyliigv-ciylzt Groans do I hear. VVorking not stallingg We'll build that pier. It's a great life- If you don't weakeng XrValking and hauling, When will it end? Just A Mess Line or Two Blow your horn Bill Kultzow- Blow your horn VVe are starving Bill Kultzow Since this morn We're not fussy what's to eat Every bite of food's a treat S0 blow vour horn Bill Kultzow- Blow your horn. Research Work Discloses Eeccntricities of Hockey Arter profound research. th'- class in experimental cosmo- anatomiphysiopsychoptediates concluded that field hockey players are tempern-mental. I hear exhaustive experi- ments covered 3 and 1-2 Held hockey games played by the N. A. G. U. Women. The following people pro- vided the foundation of the theory, 1. Conlin and her little brown hat. Z. Hoppe and her great big red handkerchief, 3, Apostol and her ground work tfallingj. 4. Simpson and her blissful ignorance. 5.. Foxy and her reteree's whistle. Lawyer Cto opponentj : You're the biggest boob it. the city. judge Crapping for orderj: Gentlemen, you forget l am here. She: I wonder if you re- member me? Years ago you asked me to marry you. Absent-minded Professor : Ah, yesg and did you? During last summer, Miss Alma Hilmer, noted normal student, visited Europe and Germany ior the third time. This latest trip being made by gyroplane, the last two were on foot. The St. Louis Kid spent some time in England where she horsecl around with the Prince of VVails-yes, .sdward fell off his pony again, prob- ably he fell for Alma. XfVhile in Switzerland, Miss Hilmer visited some cheese factories. but left in a hurry- the atmosphere being too strong for her. Bye the bye she picked up a quaint purple and ffolo Austrian cheese- hound which will be her soror- ity's mascot. Miss Hilmer plans to cross the ocean next summer-this time in a barrel. So-So-Roar-It-Ty Sc- you want some news of the fraternities? NVell, things have been happening up at the Girls' Sorority House. The Roof Garden is now bc'- ing inhabited by the women in search ot Vitamin D-the sun- sln:-e vitimin-the both sides now being open, street ear or bus service is being contem- plateo between the corridors- Ping Pong is still going strong with Chacona playing left tackle and Kummer pinochle, and Meyers on the Uke. A dance is in the air-it has been for the past year and will continue so according to the President, Bing Crosby. Meyer was so anxious to get to the dressing room, that she doubled up and rolled down. Petersonian Theroies-Skin hold bones and muscle togeth- er. Heredity is acquired.
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Page 96 text:
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That night she was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. I've been insult- ed by your mother. My mother! he exclaimed. But Alice-she's miles away. l know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it. He looked stern. I see, but where does the insult come in ? In the postscript, she an- swered, it said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George'. Here and There VVhat a beaner Bob Yoke pulled in taking roll the other day! VVonder who was most rebarrassed Ginny, Biffy, Bob, or the class. Irene Schreiber used to blush uncomfortably a while back too - misnnderstandings will occur even in the best regulated schools. Hair Cut-Ups Faces Lifted Faces Liftetl and Removed Faces Lifted, Removed and Buried. R. Stahl, prop. I. Nevins, C. Flynn, Props. - Do You Suffer? From Tousilitis, Corus, I-Ialis tosis, l.Vart34, Anything, Lv- erything, Nothing? We'll Relieve You First aid to those with cash. L. Pielineier 'and C. Hertler Hot Air Taxi Co. Smalrlone and Muto XVe'll Get You Home in Any Condition Special Service from Mike's Paddlers Leave Canoes for Courts A new wrinkle in the old suit is Paddle Tennis, now be- ing pursued in the gymnasium of good old N. A. G. U. VVhether it has been caught yet or not is a question. Nevertheless it has caught the fancy of most of the stu- dents, regardless of age, weight, color of eyes, experi- ence, etc., etc. The technique of this sim- ple game, and by the way, it is simple, even the youngest child can operate it without a quiver, to get back to the technique- providing it hasn't walked away in the meanwhile-is as I said some time ago-quite simple, in fact, I feel that I ought hardly to go into great detail regarding it. The main theme song is - Paddle Your Own Canoe , ac- companied by vocal effects from Mineo and Kreuter. Hoss Race Results The big Indianapolis Darby which was run off yesterday, was one huge success. VVhitey an apparent dark horse stole the lead on the rest of the iield, and walked home from third on a two-hagger hit by Rice. This was the eight- eenth Cno, Darling not amend- meutj two-bagger hit hy Rice -wotta man-my Iathcr's a cop! So the barber kept on shaving?????? Results: 1 2 : : :It's a Surprise, Norses, Norses, Norses. That's thc burning question- lf Eakin won't tel you-see Earnest-it's worse than the bone proposition and that's gone to the dogs. lucidcntly, 1 might say, tkeep this dark of coursej this game like many such, is one big racket! This is based on all angles of outcomes and in- comes. WVOuld You Like to Learn to Swing Clubs? Any kind-xve're not fussy. M. Swart - S. Kummer W'ar Clubs Indian Clubs Golf Clubs A Classy Outfit XVa-lla-Da-De Speak German Flueutly See George B. Farkas CXVateh him closelyl Expert Languager and How! When Your Memory Fails See Schreiber-Rapp Corp. For Your Next Meal D'Amat0's Dinner! Real Italian Spaghetti OOO-LA! LA! Try It Once-You'll Never Eat Another. VOICE CULTURE Samonsky 8: Biif y Let Us Take Your Picture, XVe'll llring It Back Candee, WValker, Eakin Photographers Be An Orator Lead a Hand to Mouth Existence F. BILTD Parlor Tricks by Posey Bloom and Ann Barnes Be Antiseptic Gain Ifoise and Grace See Valleta Bachman Dancing Lessons By the Hour Page Ninety
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