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Page 25 text:
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S moA. (p uDph a Charles Landers, famous scientist, is working on a new, improved method of making a new “coke.” His only comment is “Hie!” Congressman Warren Reincke has succeeded in getting his new bill passed which will force children to go to school on Saturday. Delores Weber has become the first woman principal of N. T. If. S. — and does she make them step! Bill Taylor has introduced the Taylor Art of Love Making into Ethiopia. Jeanette Lankford has recently found a method by which people who have no nose or ears may wear spectacles. Wilma Janssen is in the hospital recovering from exhaustion after trying to outdo Hazel Smalley in a filibuster in the Senate last week. Hazel is still filibustering. Dolores Michalowski is a warden at Alcatraz. She tames the prisoners by making panther eyes at them. Dorothy Woodhouse is the lady who has reta'ned her gift of gab and is now teaching others her new science of making fools out of men without their knowing it. Dolores Pieper has made herself a fortune manufacturing “high power telescopes.” Dolores Cavaletto is farming north of Nokomis. Don Pope has become a heavyweight prize fighter with a very impressive record. Appearing in 200 fights, he lost 199 by KO’s. Veronica Pehanich has moved to W'itt to save Bob money on the gas he spends running from Witt to Nokomis. Josephine Rowe and Doris Tarran have a school in China where they teach the Chinese girls how to get their man. Marlyn Janssen is a judge of international beauty contests. elora Hagemeier has been named “the fastest woman in the world.” She ran the 100-yard dash in the astounding time of five minutes. Gloria Kausic has just instigated a sit-down strike. She is demanding longer hours of sleep for the farmer. Erna Hoffman is a great artist. Her latest work is a portrait of the famous actress, Julia Stockdale. Nina Lipe now owns and operates the Cozy Nook. Darrell Mack has just become manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers. “Honest John” Saatkamp is still selling insurance in Nokomis. This should prove the old saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” D. C. D. M. TWENTY-ONE
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Page 24 text:
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S ninA, (p iopJwuf On that memorable day, May 27, 1949, when the seniors of the Class of ’49 held their last class meeting, it was decided that “Round Robin Letters” should be circulated among the class from time to time to see what each member was doing. Today, May 27, 1959, the second letter has completed its round. The first letter took eight years, but the second has been completed in only two years. It seems the old class members are more eager to hear of their former classmates as time goes on. Following are brief comments from “the Letter”: Margaret Archibald, of the “You Name It—We Find It” Research Expedition has just returned from Rome. She reports that there are only 21 wounds in Caesar instead of the 22 quoted in most history books. Stanley Archibald and his wife, Marilyn Hines, are operating “Stanley’s Set-and-Shampoo Shop”—of which “Archie” is a “walking advertisement.” Alice Bender, because of her ability to win out in arguments, has become an English teacher at N. T. H. S. Helen Pearse has achieved fame as the champion hog caller in a nation-wide contest. She developed this talent in the girls’ locker room at N. T. H. S. Bill Boehler has perfected a new wireless apparatus. With it he recently measured a blade of grass on Mars. Charles Schweizer and Wilmer Johnson are running a chocolate milk dairy with their new breed of cattle. Herschel Logsdon, a famous movie-maker, has moved to Hawaii to study the Hula shaker. Lynis Cassidy is still writing the column “Advice to the Lovelorn” under the assumed name of Aunt Minnie. Dorothy Jones, after her numerous love affairs, has decided to be an old maid. She has dyed her hair black and is residing in a cottage in Siberia. Lyle Edgecombe has become wealthy by raising chickens that lay fried eggs. Bernadette Poliak, famous authoress, has just completed a new book, “Why I Don’t Mind Being Short.” Mary Kelly has just been named “Miss Lower Slobbovia of 1959.” Aleta Lipe, who started out to be a teacher, got off the track and married a preacher, Eugene Poliak. Lois Tuetken is operating a ranch in Russia with starting revolutions as a sideline. Don German, a well-known football player, has married Catherine Geletka and now has an eleven of his own. Elmer Wilson and his Brooklyn Bee-Bop Boys are scheduled for a week’s run at “The Pink Elephant” night club in We-nonah, which is owned and operated by Bernice Murphy. Annabelle Bruns is now operating a chain of Chinese Slop Chuey Restaurants throughout the U. S. Recently, while Dr. Herb Heck was in Hollywood, two beautiful blondes passed, going in opposite directions. He went mad trying to decide which one to follow and is now in an asylum repeating over and over, “Which, which, etc.” TWENTY
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