Newport News High School - Anchor Yearbook (Newport News, VA)

Page 30 text:

2 THE WEAKEN WEAKEN Cbe Zlleaken weaken fVery Weakenj Published Weakly Official eyes and ears of the Student Body of the Newport News High School Newport News, Va. Entered and Insulted the High School, February 1935 Business Phone 217, Out of Order Office Phone 344, Disconnected Tele Phone 697, Not Sufficient Funds Co-Editors-in-Cheese..5 Llmburger 1 Hamburger Business Mgr. ..,.......,... I. Cheatum Sad Mgr. .......... ........ B oo Hoo Short Editor ...,.............. Stan High Copy Editor ,.........,,....,...,.,. Absent Change and Cir. Mgr. .... U. O. Me Art Editor ........................ I. Draws . j I. Click 1 U. Clack Type Adviser ......,....... Click Clack Faculrty Diviser EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS Mutiny in the Ranks QA!! Resignedj ADVERTISING STAFF out TRYING to get ads Typlsts ...,........... Hugh Splitum Let This Be a Lesson to You The singular and most exciting experience of the renowned ex- plorer, Aloysius Alistair Chalmon- deley Coypean, who is lost in the deep, dark jungles of Africa, should be a lesson to the students of New- port News high school. His decision to become an ex- plorer and his subsequent isola- tion in the depths of the African jungles is certainly lesson enough for anyone. The moral to this story is never to gaze at the lions in a circus cage, because you might become attached to them. CI-IATTER Wealcenlite Who thinks that he will ever see A man as tall as Page Bucklee But height is of some use you know He says, I didn't have any trouble seeing the Hampton game! From Phoebus Tech There came a wreck! flts name was Joe Shaheenl. When Maurice Fowler comes your way Do not sit idly, this I pray But quickly hide all food away Or else you'll starve for many a day. P.S. This refers to biscuits espe- cially. Oh brothers and sisters beware Of a boy with a mouth, I declare He can talk a blue streak He can talk for a week Before he has started The class time's departed He's missed his profession This is a confession. What a wonderful hog caller George Massenburg would make! There is a boy named H. B. West As office boy he does his best. QTo fill a vacant periodj. Believe It Or Not Two nickels make a dime. Most N. N. H. S. students live in Virginia. The Apprentice Athletic Building will not float. Ice skating is prohibited in tele- phone booths. It's not etiquette to eat soup with a knife. Ghandi is not a Democrat. A division of his wardrobe would be most revealing. Dear boys and girls, today we will begin our English lesson with a bit of poetry. bk ik if Iii l- Take it away! Si: :is Pls 711 fl- Sweet little ribbon, Don't you cry, You may be a bathing suit Bye and bye. Sk PK if Pk if if The human mouth has become a parade ground where dentists drill and drill. 224 vi: :lf P14 :if if N. N. H. S. Teacher: I sup- pose this is another one of those horrible futuristic paintings which you call art. Storekeeper: HI beg your par- don, sir, but that is a mirror. vis :ll Pk Pls wk ik They laughed when I started to make a new dynamite, but when I dropped it, they exploded. if 1: 1: a: 21: ac Charles Spradlin: I don't know what kind of leather makes the best shoes, but banana skins make the best slippers. :lf 214 211 :li 211 PF Now, if this isn't enough for a column, we will donate the rest to Philip fPhilip Space of coursej. elf FF ,If 44 'K Pl! And now, boys and girls, good day. With Love!'?'I'oA5, Your Teacher. Get Your Face Lifted SHAHEEN 'S BEAUTY SHOP Joe Shaheen, Prop. 1816 Jefferson Ave.

Page 29 text:

U79 aka' Vol. I, No. 1. Spagetti dmits ?!:-?!Defeat Famous Lemming W alk er Falls Short of Reaching Goal. Professor Ura Spagetti, world famous lemming walker, who has just returned from Africa, states that his last lemming walk during which he covered over half the dis- tance around the globe, was a com- plete failure. Spagetti left from the front of the Newport News high school in a direction that would make him pass through Africa. His first seeminglyi unconquerable obstacle was the Newport News Shipbuild- ing and Dry Dock Company. His path led through the main shops of the yard. Spagetti immediately pulled out a stick of his trusty dynamite and poof! the shops were gone. He then proceeded on his journey. The James river was easily swum and next came the forests. Spagetti took out his axe and began chopping. When final- ly he reached the Pacific Ocean he had cut a straight path through one thousand miles of forest, had traveled through four hundred miles of buildings, had swum six hundred rivers and lakes ranging from twenty feet to sixty miles and had climbed over one hundred and twenty-seven mountains. All told, he had worn out three hun- dred pairs of shoes. When Spagetti reached the Pacific Ocean he rested a day be- fore trying to swim it. After swimming sixty days he landed in Africa. Then came jungles to cut down, more rivers to swim, lions, as s 5iQ9PY World Famous Explorer Lost !n,Jungles,,Qf Darkest Africa -W. JU .111 'O '- 4X f V .,' ' .7 x - 1 wffitgfgg A .M-11 7 EXPLORERS Left to right: Coypean, famous explorer feared lost in African jungleg Crondier, bravest man in the world and Coypean's com- panion. tigers and other wild beasts to fight. These things he had to do with- out stepping out of his path. Spagetti, although he did fight wild beasts, never killed any liv- ing animal or creature and only wounded those animals which he fought. He succeeded in getting half way across the African continent when one day he came upon an ant hill six feet high and two feet wide. There was nothing to do. He couldn't climb over the ant hill, he couldn't cut it down for fear of killing some ants and to go around would be out of his path. Spagetti stood there a moment longingly and then turned sadly back to- wards the United States, thus ad- mitting defeat. jaerolysine C r o n d i e r Fears Aloysius Coypean is Killed. Aloysius Alistair Cholmondeley Coypean, who graduated from this high school in 1936 and who is now a famous explorer of Central Africa, was last heard from on January 35, 1935. His co-explorer, Jaerolysine Arograne Fetergrate Crondier, who has made and re- tained' the reputation of being the world's bravest man, fears that Coypean has been eaten by a ren- goaelosyes plant. Coypean, who set sail with Crondier from Death Valley, California, last July for the African continent, has been through some harrowing exper- iences. When he and Crondier landed in Cape Town after a long sea voyage they were greeted first by a ferocious lion standing at the rail- road station. Coypean, with great presence of mind, whipped out his gun and shot. A loud explosion followed. Coypean was sued 5,000 pezozees by the African govern- ment for shooting so rare an Alaskan rubber lion. After this matter had been rightly cleared up, Coypean turned to find his com- panion, but the clouds of dust were so thick that he couldn't see objects farther away than two feet. Being unable to find Cron- dier, Coypean decided to wait at a hotel for him. After three weeks of searching, Crondier was finally found in Christendom lstill run- ning! by Norwegian police, and was immediately returned to South fContinued on page 41

Page 31 text:

THE WEAKEN WEAKEN 3 ALL E IOR C UGHTI SIXZZTQZ Shipbuilders Defeat Crabbers By Close Margin In Thriller Newport News Wins Annual Contest By Score of 1-0. Fighting valiantly and playing better football than they have shown this year, the Gold and Blue Typhoon eked out a 1-0 victory over the Hampton Crabbers in the annual grid battle which was held on the Newport News high school gridiron December 33. The Ty- phoon scored first on a lateral pass on the kickoff when Captain Ivers received the pass from Captain Hayes and raced across the line. A few minutes later another pass, from Captain Hudson to Captain Baker was completed for the sec- ond touchdown which gave the Ty- phoon a 0-0 lead . Here the Crabbers rallied and started a drive which carried them to the fifteen yard line where a bad pass from center halted the march. The Hamptonians could not be denied, however, and a pass placed the ball deep in Newport's territory. A combination forward and lateral pass, Krab to Jones was good' for a score. Smith place-kicked the extra point. The score stood at the end of the first quarter: Newport News, 03 Hamp- ton, 6. Newport News scored again in the second quarter when Captain Ashby intercepted a Hampton pass and ran through the whole team for a touchdown. The half ended: Newport News, 7, Hampton, 5. In the third period' the Ship- builders were driven back to the shadow of their own goal where Captain Lewis downed the ball to give Hampton two points on a safety rather than risk having a punt blocked and a possible score. In the last quarter, Captain Cater snatched a Hampton fumble in mid-air and ran about forty yards to cross the line for the final score. Newport News, stall- ing for time, kept the ball for the remainder of the game which end- ed, Newport News, 1, Hampton, 0. The lineups: N. N. H. S. Pos. Hampton Saunders ........ LE .............. North McMullen ........ LT ..,........... South Hayes .............. LG .......... .. East Williams ........ C .......... .. West Coffman .......... RG .....,........ Brown Lewis .............. RT ,...... Smith Cater .... ........ R E ......, .... J ones Ashby .............. QB ,...... ...,., K rab Hudson .,.......... HB ...,... .... B lack Baker ...,.......... HB ....... .. Greene Ivers .....,.......... FB .............. White Substitutions: Newport News, Winder, Weiss, Brown: Hampton, Gray, Red. Officials: Spigel, N. N. H. S.g Spencer, N. N. H. S., Spradlin, N. N. H. S. I Used to be a 97 Pound Weakling!! ' look at me now Page Buckley World's Strongest Man!!! Gamble on a three cent stamp. Take my course and I'll guarantee that within 7 days you'll have a figure like mine . J Teaspoon Tips Barbara Baker: Hampton will be crooning 'Who walks in when I walk out' after the game to- morrow. Jane Saunders: If we go about the game in a geometrical manner and take advantage of the 'breaks', then I am sure we will 'Crush the Crabbers'. Frances Lewis: I have nothing to say except that 'It wasn't told to me I only heard' that Hampton is using the claw system which consists of a double reverse back- field. I wonder if double reverse means to go in the same direction twice. Rebecca Wlilliams: Remember that I like 'Jello' after the game in its six delicious flavers of or- ange, chocolate, vanilla, tuttifruit, walnut and raspberry. SALE! ! ll Winter Underwear Tickle You To Death SPENCER DEP'T. STORE 1820 Madison Ave. Clinton Spencer, Prop. Be the Life of the Party You can learn to sing. Just write to I.. U. Noland Jr. Newport News, Va. H N OI ,AN D'S SINGING SCHOOL