Newport News High School - Anchor Yearbook (Newport News, VA)

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THE BEACON Caught In The Scuffle V

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FEBRUARY. 1935 'J wmrs wless wn.LlAMs wnvuwzn w1NFlz1.o wmernsan vouue JAMES WHITE Midget Football Team, Home Room Offices. KENNETH WIGGS Beacon Newspaper, President, Quill and Scroll, Exchange and Circulation Manager, Beacon Newspaper, Beacon News- paper Delegate to C. S. P. A. Convention, New York, Activity Letter, Journalism, Photo Club, Sr. Pennant Committee, Home Room Offices. REBECCA WILLIAMS Literary Club, Readers Club, French Club, Usher, Sr. Pennant Committee, Robinson Crusoe , Staffs of Royal Dilemma, Christopher Bean, Sr. Plays. JANE'I'I'A WIMMER Speech Club, Sesqui Pageant, Le- gend of Sleepy Hollow, Robinson Crusoe , Staffs of Taming of the Shrew, Romancers, Vanity, Enchanted Cottage, Christopher Bean , Home Room Offices. BERNICE WINFIELD Literary Club, Speech Club, French Club, Readers Club, Beacon Newspaper, Robinson Crusoe, Royal Dilemma , Girls Athletic Club, Jr. Red Cross, Staffs of Vanity, Christopher Bean, Doll's House, Vicious Circle, Women Folks, It Sometimes Happens, Teapot on the Rocks, Romancers, Romance is a Racket, It'll .Be All Right on the Night, Enchanted Cottage, Senior Plays, Feb. '35, Home Room Offices. GEORGE VVINGFIELD Orchestra, Activities Letter, Or- chestra, Sr. Invitation Committee, Literary Club, Home Room Offices. ROBERT YOUNG Honor Student, Beacon Annual, Basketball Manager '35, Athletic Council, French Club, Spanish Club, Readers Club, English II Play, Robinson Crusoe , Home Room Offices. A- IWIN'lY-I

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U79 aka' Vol. I, No. 1. Spagetti dmits ?!:-?!Defeat Famous Lemming W alk er Falls Short of Reaching Goal. Professor Ura Spagetti, world famous lemming walker, who has just returned from Africa, states that his last lemming walk during which he covered over half the dis- tance around the globe, was a com- plete failure. Spagetti left from the front of the Newport News high school in a direction that would make him pass through Africa. His first seeminglyi unconquerable obstacle was the Newport News Shipbuild- ing and Dry Dock Company. His path led through the main shops of the yard. Spagetti immediately pulled out a stick of his trusty dynamite and poof! the shops were gone. He then proceeded on his journey. The James river was easily swum and next came the forests. Spagetti took out his axe and began chopping. When final- ly he reached the Pacific Ocean he had cut a straight path through one thousand miles of forest, had traveled through four hundred miles of buildings, had swum six hundred rivers and lakes ranging from twenty feet to sixty miles and had climbed over one hundred and twenty-seven mountains. All told, he had worn out three hun- dred pairs of shoes. When Spagetti reached the Pacific Ocean he rested a day be- fore trying to swim it. After swimming sixty days he landed in Africa. Then came jungles to cut down, more rivers to swim, lions, as s 5iQ9PY World Famous Explorer Lost !n,Jungles,,Qf Darkest Africa -W. JU .111 'O '- 4X f V .,' ' .7 x - 1 wffitgfgg A .M-11 7 EXPLORERS Left to right: Coypean, famous explorer feared lost in African jungleg Crondier, bravest man in the world and Coypean's com- panion. tigers and other wild beasts to fight. These things he had to do with- out stepping out of his path. Spagetti, although he did fight wild beasts, never killed any liv- ing animal or creature and only wounded those animals which he fought. He succeeded in getting half way across the African continent when one day he came upon an ant hill six feet high and two feet wide. There was nothing to do. He couldn't climb over the ant hill, he couldn't cut it down for fear of killing some ants and to go around would be out of his path. Spagetti stood there a moment longingly and then turned sadly back to- wards the United States, thus ad- mitting defeat. jaerolysine C r o n d i e r Fears Aloysius Coypean is Killed. Aloysius Alistair Cholmondeley Coypean, who graduated from this high school in 1936 and who is now a famous explorer of Central Africa, was last heard from on January 35, 1935. His co-explorer, Jaerolysine Arograne Fetergrate Crondier, who has made and re- tained' the reputation of being the world's bravest man, fears that Coypean has been eaten by a ren- goaelosyes plant. Coypean, who set sail with Crondier from Death Valley, California, last July for the African continent, has been through some harrowing exper- iences. When he and Crondier landed in Cape Town after a long sea voyage they were greeted first by a ferocious lion standing at the rail- road station. Coypean, with great presence of mind, whipped out his gun and shot. A loud explosion followed. Coypean was sued 5,000 pezozees by the African govern- ment for shooting so rare an Alaskan rubber lion. After this matter had been rightly cleared up, Coypean turned to find his com- panion, but the clouds of dust were so thick that he couldn't see objects farther away than two feet. Being unable to find Cron- dier, Coypean decided to wait at a hotel for him. After three weeks of searching, Crondier was finally found in Christendom lstill run- ning! by Norwegian police, and was immediately returned to South fContinued on page 41