Newport News High School - Anchor Yearbook (Newport News, VA)

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Burcher — And with tears in his voice he said, “He laughs last laughs laughter.” Binder — I saw a peanut stand and a wheel spoke of it. Phillips — “I heard as orange peel.” Semmes — “I saw a cake walk.” Nelms — “I’ve seen a mail box.” Smith — “And I’ve seen a street run.” Robinson — “Did you ever see a tape measure ?” Patton — “Stop kidding — kid gloves.” Under the spreading chestnut tree The village blacksmith stands; His shoes, he keeps them full of feet His gloves are full of hands And the muscles of his brawny arms, Stretch forth like rubber bands. If Miss Cogbill faints can a pen holder ? If the school caught on fire would the fire escape ? If the class is dull is William Bright ? If Mr. Jenkins is in the boat can Mr. Dutrow? Mr. Patton (using “would” in a sen- tence) — “I’m quite sure Bessie Wood.” Mr. Koontz (using “well” in a sen- tence) — “I’m sure Ruth Powell.” Mrs. Peachy — “Smith is marked ab- sent.” Mr. Smith (from the cloaki ' oom) — “Not guilty.” Miss Cogbill — “Tell something of Alexander Hamilton.” Mr. Binder — “He was the leader of of his band.” Miss McWhorter — “Give me an ex- ample of slang?” Mr. Burcher (after a few minutes wait) — “Search me.” Mrs. Peachy — “What kind of poetry did Spencer write?” Pupil — “Spencerian poetry.” Prof. Via — “Geometry is used in nearly every trade.” Mr. Booker — “A fisherman doesn’t use any branch of it in his trade.” Prof. Via — “Indeed he does, he fishes with a line.” “The Anchor,” 1912. N. N. H. S. DICTIONARY Teacher — The sum total of preach- er, policeman, exhorter, joker and judge. Quiet — A state of being that the Seniors aspire to attain. Rats — Pets for girls; or new mem- bers in the high school. Senior — A brilliant being with a fountain pen behind its ear. “Kronic kicker” — The Noble Sen- iors, Athletic Association — Something that meets twice a year and nails you for a quarter.

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114 THE BEACON (From “The Student,” 1904.) We sincerely hope that this, our first publication of the High School Student, will meet with the approval of our friends and patrons. We think that every high school, college or like institution should pub- lish a pamphlet through whose col- umns the parents and friends of the students in this institution may be- come more familiar with the work done in the school. We also think that such a paper will afford the stu- dents excellent opportunities for exercising their literary abilities. It is for these reasons that we have decided to publish a magazine in our High School. This magazine will contain honor rolls of all the public schools in the city, all items of local interest in these schools, as well as literary articles written by the high school students. We will be glad to receive any articles written by stu- dents of the high school. All manu- scripts submitted must be written with ink, and on one side of the paper only. Waiter, has this steak been cooked ? Yes, sir, by electricity. Well, take it back and give it another shock. James (hanging pictures..: “Got any thumb tacks, Pete?” Pete: “Nope, but I got some finger nails.” He: “Some of your jokes are a trifle raw.” She: “They ought not to be; you’ve roasted them enough.” Teacher: “Let us now sing ‘Little Drops of Water,’ and please put some spirit into it.” Mrs. Flannigan: “I want a pair of shoes for my boys.” Salesman: “French kid, ma’am?” Mrs. Flannigan: “No, sir, he’s Irish.” When is a joke not a joke ? Usually. “Only fools are certain, the wise hesitate.” “Are you sure?” “Absolutely certain.” “No, Maude dear, a diet of tar drops won’t make a base ball player pitch.” Soph.: “Did you ever take chloro- form ?” Fresh.: “No, who teaches it?” Lives of Seniors all remind us, We can strive to do our best And departing leave behind us Note-books that will help the rest. College girls are very slow They seem to take their ease, For even when the graduate, They do it by degrees. TOAST Here’s to our faculty: long may they live! (Even as long as the lessons they give.) HEARD IT IN A HISTORY CLASS Miss Jones: “What’s the meaning of canonized?” Miss C.: “Shot to death by a canon.”

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116 THE BEACON Deportment — The stumbling block to the blue card. Report — Periodic slam. Girl — Something what aint. Hookworm — An element which pos- sesses three-fourths of the high school. High School Quartette — An instru- ment used to reproduce the grief of the lost souls. Lessons — Assignments which could be lessened. Borrow- — The polite request to de- liver. Bonehead — One who bones. Chorus Class — A saw mill. Faculty- — Our guardian angel. Flunk — A verb meaning to go way back and sit down; or to dig a hole, crawl in, and pull the hole in after you. A Grind— One of the victims of the Mill of the Gods. Nerve — A necessary element for every successful student. Y. M. C. A. — A very important ar- ticle to all who aspire to play hooky. Assembly — A thing of the past that is not recorded in Meyer’s “General Histoi-y.” Especially and Particularly — A pointer for hard study of English. Insubordination — Something that draws a coupon with ten days holiday attached. Joke — An article that sometimes merits a laugh. Outline — One of Miss Cogbill’s fav- orite sayings that means two hours hard work. Club — An instrument for knocking. Dough — Something that is kneaded. “Student,” 1912. “Going to hear that lecture on ap- pendicitis this afternoon?” “Naw, I’m tired of these organ re- citals.” Mr. L. (as Powell takes a slide to second): “He’s safe! He’s safe!” Miss W. (her first game): “Oh, I ' m so glad, I was sure he must be killed.” A hundred years ago this land, Was wilderness most dear; With powder in his gun, the man Went out to shoot the dear. But now all things are somewhat changed, And on another plan, With powder on her cheeks, the dear Goes out to get the man. Miss Love: “Luther, you shouldn’t laugh out in school.” Luther: “I didn’t mean to do it. I was smiling, when all of a sudden the smile busted.” Freshman: “I thought you took algebra last year.” Sophomore: “I did, but the faculty gave me an encore.” She: “My face is my fortune.” He: “Mine is too.” She: “Let’s put our fortunes to- gether.” Teacher: “Where is the history les- son today?” Mr. Martin (tenor and bass well mixed): “The Roman Statesman, page 435.” Teacher: “Please, don’t everyone talk at the same time.”