Newport High School - Oracle Yearbook (Newport, VT)

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Skis The sun beat down on the sand of Miami Beach, where the Duchess Delta Somers and the Countess Kathleen Jordan were reminiscing about their recent safari into the heart of Mozambique and their amaz- ing wealth. They had discovered a fortune in dia- monds in Zaharie's Tomb. After they had retrieved the remains of the news- paper, which had blown from their faces, and settled themselves on the sand again, they noticed that DICK BOYDEN, an old classmate of theirs, was Edi- tor-in-Chief of this newspaper. It was called, The Boyden Times and had been printed the previous day, January 2, 1982, following the New Years' Eve festivities. The first item to catch their eye was the head- line in red: BABY FACE BOB BROUGHT TO TRIAL! Shocked by the headline, they proceeded to read the following: The notorious Chicago racketteer, BABY FACE COBURN, defends himself on a charge of income tax evasion. His renowned criminal lawyer, SUSAN COURCHESNE, displayed clever tactics in the courtroom, today. If BABY FACE BOB gets off this time, we predict an endless reign of criminal actions for Chicago and its law abiding citizens. In the column at the right, they saw an interest- ing write up: Evie Carson Has SMASH OPENING AT DICK'S INTERNATIONAL STORK CLUB! The ta- lented and famous bubble dancer Evie entertained for the festive New Year's crowd, last night. She was interviewed by T. V. 's famous roving reporter, LORAN LADD. During her interview, Miss Carson revealed her future plan of a bubble dancing tour of Asia. Reporter LADD also said that the Stork Club, owned and operated by DICK DEAN, WAS really swinging. The club's bouncer. ROBERT RHODES reported an unusually quiet New Year's evening. After this reassuring note, they glanced at the political columns. This bold heading caught their eye: Parenteau PLANS PROFITABLE FUTURE. It was announced that MERLE PARENTEAU PLANS TO RUN FOR governor. His plans following the guber- yUZ4O!0.6QCy natorial election will be onward and upward, toward the Senate and eventually the Presidency. Parenteau plans his political future on the assumption that a substantial increase in salaries will be forthcoming. Glancing haphazardly over the lost and found column they noticed an item of interest. LOST: One small, slightly scratched, blue, contact lens. Please return to the famous SANDRA HASELTON STOCK YARDS. Reward will be twenty pounds of choice raw beef. Following this they found another of their class- mates in need of assistance. A wrapper is wanted at DIANE CHENEY'S Door-to-door Diaper Service, whose slogan for twenty years has been - Diane's for Dryer Diapers. Next they saw an advertisement of the extremely successful detective organization, Surfside 5. The man hunters are MARY FITZGERALD, WINSOME AL- LEN. and CAROL ELWOOD. Their motto reads: We Always Get Our Man! Turning to the health section they read of DIANE CHAFFEE'S unfortunate rush to the hospital, via am- bulance, for a ruptured kidney. Doctors reported that her freak illness resulted from doing that new dancing rage, the U-2 Swivel with that wild man-about-town, LEO IUDD. This shocking accident occured during the New Year's Eve festivities at Dick's International Stork Club. On the sports' page, they read of Gallopy Gilpin's amazing victory at the Miami race track. Gallopy Gilpin. a sleek greyhound, won the twenty-five thous- and dollar cup. Gallopy Gilpin is owned by the fam- ous dog racer, CURTIS HARDY. Following the race, Curt stated that this victory would never have been possible without the faithful feeding of Gallopy by his trainer and wife, SUSAN GILPIN on HELEN THAY- ER'S enriched, cruchy, rnunchy, dog biscuits. 37

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W 012 170119 we 'oe wazfef years or FIRST ROW: S. Cour- schesne, M. Paren- teau, J. Scott, E. Carson, D. Chaffee, M. Fitzgerald, L. Ladd, S. Haselton, C. Elwood. SECOND ROW: Miss Coapland, D. Somers, K. Jor- dan, D. Dean, B. Kendall, C. Hardy, L. Lamere, R. Drown H. Thayer, R. Lyon, B. Hardy, D. Cheney THIRD ROW: W. Allen, S. Myers, D. Boyden, T. Moore, R. Rhodes, L. Judd, H. Wheeler, R. Co- burn, S. Gilpin. All right' S omerS ' noun d again! who OPS! Wh efe wer eweh efe ?

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Signed: KATHY JORDAN N CQJJ Trop ecy KCOZZAEQZIQOQ The Miami Ski Club was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Sl-IERRY MYERS on her return from Europe, where she won several gold metals. Sherry expects to patent an invention for a new type of ski, one that will go backwards as well as frontwards. Reading the book reviews, they discovered that LINDA LAMERE had been offered a celestialscope contract for the rights to film her spicy new novel, The French Riviera and Me. which has been ban- ned in fifty-five states. The producer will be Holly- wood's renowned. .TIM WHEELER. Wheeler's last suc- cess was the historical film, The Downfall of Russia in 1965. His new celestialscope picture will star Hollywood's famous lover, JOHN Scott and will co- star BEVERLY HARDY, that new singing rage. In two hundred pound, RAE LYON. The wrestling match would be exciting for rumor had it that these two champs had been having a private feud. The society column carried this shocking story Society's loving playboy, TERRY MOORE, had just returned from Europe, after receiving treatments from France's famous psychiatrist, Doctor BONNIE KENDALL, who is now his fourth wife. The hour was late, and the Countess and Duchess were planning to attend an afternoon tea at the excit' ing Stork Club. Their chauffeurs arrived and they were off to a rendez-vous with their rip, roaring, old classmates of nineteen hundred and sixty-two! The French Riviera and Me, Scott will play the DELTA SOMERS part of me. The film is predicted to be a hit and a great comeback for producer, Jim Wheeler. Entertaining that evening at Miami's Wrestling Stadium, would be rough and ready, RUTHIE DROWN, weighing in at a sturdy one hundred and seventy-five pounds. Her challenger was to be tough and muscular, ft INCH Fx 1 , fs 5 w 'J -f . f 'N Ut ?lQ -' J Dj xv! ' X'-'I J .-- ff to QQ FJ W 1' 1-x Vw ' 321. N IM i 'Ds 'R - Q fl , Q ' K ' V' ,Hot :' aa 6 1 039' 915 ' ' ' -on ' 01 2 ' T3 , Q Y 4. 5 am Q4 i X 5 o p rx -. fx -1- ' A -T3 o 1 38