Newport High School - Bruin Yearbook (Newport, WA)

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Many a fellow says Jack, who studied Geology at College has been on the rocks ever since. GROVER P: What are you giving me all those treatments for, Doctor? DOCTOR: For loss of memory. GROVER P: But I haven't lost m memory. DOCTOR: I thought you had. You have never mentioned that bill of mine which has been running for two -ycars. - '-- ve - Q -Q - V-.VV wildeo ed, he rushed into the beauti- eians shop and cried out, NYou sold me this bottle of patent hair tonic and you swore that it would restore my hair to its original state. On the contrary it removed what little hair I had left and new m head is as bald as e billiwnd bell. What have you to say?n 'I didn't deceive you, sir. I said the tonic would restore your hair to its original state--and most babies are born without hiir.W Transferring that prohibition agent to a job in the insane asylum, main- tains Jack, was a plain case of from snoop to nuts. -one EDITOR: Why don't you make your stories true to life? DORA S: I do try to. Whats the matter? EDITOR: Why,.here you say: WThere was the sound of a shot, and in a flash the street was swarming with policemen. - Wlemma, is that woman married?W asked little Freddie, as he gazed at the statue. ' 'No,n said his mother, Nthat's the Goddess of Liberty.W MAXINE C: I hear they call your boy- friend UCeilingn. EUNICE F: Why WCeilingW? MAXINE C: Because ho's always ' M plastered. lcNEIL: What is it that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb? LOLABELLEa It's father, when he brings home his wages. BOB B: This is sure a great country, Dave. DAVE! And h0w'S that? BOB B: The paper says that you con buy a five dollar money order for three cents. WIFE: Cdiscovering tnebriated husband on front steps fiddling with the door knobl What are you doing there, John? JOHN: fcontinuing to turn knobl ,Sshhl I'm trying to get Pitts- burgh. JERRY V: My dog knows as much as I do. WARD F: How odd you are! Most people are always bragging about their dogs. LESLIE B: You Say your girls' good at track? LESLIE H: Yep, makes the lap in LMfBBirE.tiUe., Ygf ' -,j . V ...napa- . '-1. At a golf club one Sunday morning Art Runnels turned up late. They asked him why he was late, he said it was-really e toss-up whether he should come there that morning or go to . : church. Wnnd I hed to toss up fifteen times,W he added.

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HUMOR AS WE SEE IT We umorists may dig and toil u til our fingertips are sore, But some fresh lout is sure to soy I've heard that joke before. New York saw only ninety-five per cent of the clipse recently, but Nobody is squewking about a five per cent discount these days. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said: WMM' O-2.t:?f16f' WMJK ' N '8eS,.D when he stubbed his toe against the bed. Bob Van Amburgh is now demanding one half of the royalties, if his Answers on his exam papers are sold to the humor companies. SARTIN AND HOLCOHB DICTIONARY ALBUMEN--Books for photographs BUFFODN-A cyclone CARAMEL--A desert beast CHIVALRY--An automobile CONVEX-Prisoners CUT-THROAT-A barber college graduate CYNORAHA-A moving picture DRI DOCK--A physician who won't give you e prescription for liquor. FINESSE-The end completely GARGOYLE--A threat treatment GRILLER-A large hairy animal MONAGnMY-An expensive dark wood OMINOUS-A large automobile generally rented out to parties OPTIMIST--A men who buys something from a Jew and expects to sell it to a Scotchmnn for profit. STRATEGY-A very sad play SUITORP-A clothing manufacturer ZEPHIR--A young cow LILLY: Does your ear have a worm drive Essie? ESSIE: Yes, but I tell him where to drive. A GARDEN STORY BUD: Mother, where did I come from? ROSE: Why the stalk brought you, my dear. . - - - WARDEN: We've decided to give you one hour of grace before we hang you. WILLIS: O. K. bring her in. -.---n A lot of people have spent their summers in banks keeping cool with their frozen assets. EVE: I am going to get a new dress. ADAM: That will be e re-leaf. RONALD: Did your last boy friend give you long kisses? ' CAROL: Yes, once on a lonely country road he kissed me, and when I open- ed my eyes, they had put up a sky- scraper across the street. Crystal Gnzers, expresses Dorothy, live on the fate of the land. ADDLED AXIOMS In enoh life e little jane must fell. As ye blow so shall ye beep. Oils well that burns well. All is not cold that jitters. ensue

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TIM: Say, you're a pretty tough egg all right: I'1l bet when you yell your wife hops. BOB B: Yeah, all over me. PHYSICAL GUBTURIST: I'll reduce you twenty pounds in-a week. DOROTHY G: That'll mean a lot of weight off of my mind. JOHN S: No, darling off of your hips JOE L: Do you know what counts in the taxi-cab business? LESLIE H: No, what. JOE L: The Meter. EINA S: I'd have gone to that young doctor with my sprained ankle, but they say that he's a lady-killer. CHLRLES P: Is that so? I wonder how much he'd charge to operate on my mother-in-law. HUBBI: Clocking at bills! You're driving me to the poor house. WIFE: No, you'1l have to walk. The finance company took the car this morning. - H f SHORT STORY SCENE: In the hills. CHARACTERS: Father and Son. Sound of horses hoofs in the effing. SON: CAS he gets off of his trusty steedl Father that villain Jack Dalton has captured your daughter Neue FATHER: Ah me, Alas and alack a day what shell I do. SUN: Don't fear father I shall ros- cue fair Nell. FATHER: But there are dangerous bs'r in them ther mo ntains. SON: But you forget futher that I ride a bicycle and I can Handle-hor. M . ADAMS: Is your business course for,gir1s considered e success? MISS KRUEGER: Yes, our figures show , that over sixty per cont of our graduates marry their employers within c year. THE MEANEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD The women who gives her son e penny to take a dose of cod liver oil And then takes the pennies and buys some more cod liver oil: t You are charged with selling adulter- atod milk said the judge. NI plead not guilty, Your Honmr,u answered the culprit. WBut the testimony shows that the milk you sold was twentyefive per cent weter.W uThen it must have been a very high grade of milk, sir. You will find the definition of milk says it is eighty to ninety por cent water - I should have sold that milk for creemlu GEORGE PULIORD: How fer can they trace your ancestry? LESLIE BLOCKER: Well, when my grande father resigned as cashier of a bank they traced him as fer as Canada but he get away. JACK SARTIN: Ito n strange man sitting beside him in the street earl It's c fine morning isn't it? STRANGER: You have the advantage of ne, sir: I don't believe I know you. JACK S: Well, I fail to see the ad-' vantage! s