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Page 75 text:
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HUMOR AS WE SEE IT We umorists may dig and toil u til our fingertips are sore, But some fresh lout is sure to soy I've heard that joke before. New York saw only ninety-five per cent of the clipse recently, but Nobody is squewking about a five per cent discount these days. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said: WMM' O-2.t:?f16f' WMJK ' N '8eS,.D when he stubbed his toe against the bed. Bob Van Amburgh is now demanding one half of the royalties, if his Answers on his exam papers are sold to the humor companies. SARTIN AND HOLCOHB DICTIONARY ALBUMEN--Books for photographs BUFFODN-A cyclone CARAMEL--A desert beast CHIVALRY--An automobile CONVEX-Prisoners CUT-THROAT-A barber college graduate CYNORAHA-A moving picture DRI DOCK--A physician who won't give you e prescription for liquor. FINESSE-The end completely GARGOYLE--A threat treatment GRILLER-A large hairy animal MONAGnMY-An expensive dark wood OMINOUS-A large automobile generally rented out to parties OPTIMIST--A men who buys something from a Jew and expects to sell it to a Scotchmnn for profit. STRATEGY-A very sad play SUITORP-A clothing manufacturer ZEPHIR--A young cow LILLY: Does your ear have a worm drive Essie? ESSIE: Yes, but I tell him where to drive. A GARDEN STORY BUD: Mother, where did I come from? ROSE: Why the stalk brought you, my dear. . - - - WARDEN: We've decided to give you one hour of grace before we hang you. WILLIS: O. K. bring her in. -.---n A lot of people have spent their summers in banks keeping cool with their frozen assets. EVE: I am going to get a new dress. ADAM: That will be e re-leaf. RONALD: Did your last boy friend give you long kisses? ' CAROL: Yes, once on a lonely country road he kissed me, and when I open- ed my eyes, they had put up a sky- scraper across the street. Crystal Gnzers, expresses Dorothy, live on the fate of the land. ADDLED AXIOMS In enoh life e little jane must fell. As ye blow so shall ye beep. Oils well that burns well. All is not cold that jitters. ensue
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Page 76 text:
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Many a fellow says Jack, who studied Geology at College has been on the rocks ever since. GROVER P: What are you giving me all those treatments for, Doctor? DOCTOR: For loss of memory. GROVER P: But I haven't lost m memory. DOCTOR: I thought you had. You have never mentioned that bill of mine which has been running for two -ycars. - '-- ve - Q -Q - V-.VV wildeo ed, he rushed into the beauti- eians shop and cried out, NYou sold me this bottle of patent hair tonic and you swore that it would restore my hair to its original state. On the contrary it removed what little hair I had left and new m head is as bald as e billiwnd bell. What have you to say?n 'I didn't deceive you, sir. I said the tonic would restore your hair to its original state--and most babies are born without hiir.W Transferring that prohibition agent to a job in the insane asylum, main- tains Jack, was a plain case of from snoop to nuts. -one EDITOR: Why don't you make your stories true to life? DORA S: I do try to. Whats the matter? EDITOR: Why,.here you say: WThere was the sound of a shot, and in a flash the street was swarming with policemen. - Wlemma, is that woman married?W asked little Freddie, as he gazed at the statue. ' 'No,n said his mother, Nthat's the Goddess of Liberty.W MAXINE C: I hear they call your boy- friend UCeilingn. EUNICE F: Why WCeilingW? MAXINE C: Because ho's always ' M plastered. lcNEIL: What is it that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb? LOLABELLEa It's father, when he brings home his wages. BOB B: This is sure a great country, Dave. DAVE! And h0w'S that? BOB B: The paper says that you con buy a five dollar money order for three cents. WIFE: Cdiscovering tnebriated husband on front steps fiddling with the door knobl What are you doing there, John? JOHN: fcontinuing to turn knobl ,Sshhl I'm trying to get Pitts- burgh. JERRY V: My dog knows as much as I do. WARD F: How odd you are! Most people are always bragging about their dogs. LESLIE B: You Say your girls' good at track? LESLIE H: Yep, makes the lap in LMfBBirE.tiUe., Ygf ' -,j . V ...napa- . '-1. At a golf club one Sunday morning Art Runnels turned up late. They asked him why he was late, he said it was-really e toss-up whether he should come there that morning or go to . : church. Wnnd I hed to toss up fifteen times,W he added.
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