Newport High School - Blunita Yearbook (Newport, PA)

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THE BLUE AND WHITE 15 phone so I’ll visit some place else. Our president, Mopey Trout, since lie was on the president’s yacht lias decided that he would become President of the l S. A. But when In- comes out on the Socialistic ticket, even though he is from Newport, take my advice and don’t vote for him. lie’s punk’ can’t talk, can’t think and even too tired to eat. If he does become president there is always a way of getting rid of such. Of course you can’t he certain but 1 feel it in my bones that he will he shot if lie ever becomes president. So don’t vote for him as it will only be wasted energy. The poor egg and the poor nest. Once upon a time not so many days ago a gypsy visited our town and Carrie Shull wanting to know her future had her fortune told. Of course it’s a secret but if you don’t tell she is going to be queen of China. Carrie is so elated that she can’t wait she is leaving in 1.5 minutes. But I just know that she, like Lady Macbeth, will commit so many murders to gain her desired goal that she will go Coo-coo. A poor nut and a poor egg. One afternoon about 3.50 I walked into the office of the Public Ledger and saw a young man sitting at the desk. Not being personally acquainted with the editor I mistook him for the editor hut when he addressed me I knew my mistake for I recognized his voice as that of an old class mate, Orville Babe Wright as editor of the Public Ledger. Can you imagine that? I surely can’t for none or this group can ever be a success. 1 heard the door close and saw an elderly man whom I took as the editor and I was correct for once for Babe immediately grabbed a bucket and started washing up the floor, lie cut his hand on a piece of glass and contracted blood poisoning from which he never recovered. I hope that he will regain the use of his hand for it is rather hard using a shovel with one hand. This nest of eggs must all be bad. Marie Magnuson has sent in her application to the Zeigfield Follies. Now all of you people know, or if you don’t take my word for it, but she was cut out for a house wife not a dancer. You all know that Marie cannot stand the late hours or all that violent exercise but if she does fill all the requirements she will throw a leg out of joint and have to use a wheel chair and a tin cup the rest yf her life. Bertie Kipp expects to be a runner, but he won’t be. He.thinks because he can walk around the track up here and then be handed a piece of tin with a little bronze on it that he is in shape for tlie Olympics but just wait. If he ever did get to France, which he won’t, and even though he had a chance to run, why before the race one of those little French girls would capture his heart and France would cop the race. If Bertie ever ran a real race some one would spike him and lie would come back to town so the citizens of Newport could buy him a wooden leg. Another egg bit the dust. Clee Keim has aspired to be the Fat Lady in Barnum and Bailey’s Circus. At least so it seems to the faculty and to the students for she

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u THE BLl' E A N I) W HITE of the United States. Very nice position to pick out now all she has to do is wait for the President to come and marry her. Then off on a trip around the World. On the trip 1 am afraid she’ll fall in love with the King of S. B. Islands and the U. S. government can’t run without Mary so citizens be prepared to become slaves of the S. B. Islands. The loss of Mary is a tremendous loss to this nest. Violet Hombach is cut out for a physical directress, I don’t think. She claims that she will keep them all thin. For example just look at her. But I just know that while taking some violent exercise she will get a laughing spell and laugh herself to death. A large egg gone had. Price Hibbs is the would-be-sheik of this nest of so far bad eggs. He is very fastidious and expects to set the fashions for the rest of tlie world. But in such unique outfits he will be shot being taken as an anarchist or fcolshevist. Another bad egg. In a metropolitan opera house the curtain rises slowly, the audience was in breathless silence, and why shouldn’t it be the greatest singer in all the world was to appear that night. Whom 1j we recognize, ah! Kathryn lekes. After many performances she goes to Europe there she falls in love with an Austrian Duke. After the wedding she is to sing a song composed by the Duke. As she goes on the stage the audience gives her a round of applause, she begins to sing and the piece is about the bolshevists in the middle of the song someone rises in the back of the room, a pistol cracks and another egg falls from the nest. Next, William Snyder, the greatest scientist of the day. William graduated at Bailey’s Scientific Seminary and will assist Darwin by discovering the missing link. But if he succeeds in reaching Africa and lands anyways near the interior I just know that while crossing some river an alligator will grab him and take him to lower depths to investigate. Alfred Wolpert expects to be the cashier of the largest bank in the world. But I just know that the stock market will be very low' some day and A1 will borrow some money from the bank, of course he expects to return it but when the market goes on the rocks he w ill be forced to leave. Next he will be driving the Ford sedan of the queen of China. This gives A1 the inspiration to become an auto racer. We next hear of him as the speed king of Africa so we go to the race track to see him. But I know that he would have won the race except that traveling at the terrific rate of 25 miles an hour he ran off the track ami struck a coconnut tree, the nuts fell off, struck his hard character ami broke the milk drowned him. There is a great steel bridge being erected across the Atlantic. The bridge is nearly constructed and the crowds are passing to and fro on the bridge. Presently the crowd breaks and sends up cheer after cheer for we behold Hero Watson has arrived. He is the man who picked the perfect steel for the bridge. It is a great day for him. Suddenly a crash is heard in the distance ami the bridge collapsed. When St. Peter handed Hero a harp he said I can pluv only a saxo-

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1G THE BLUE AND WHITE has started all ready. Whenever you hear anyone munching anything you know it is Clee Keim. But after so much eating she will develop a chronic ptomaine poisoning and the Doctors will put her on a diet This shattering of her hopes will be such a shock that she will commit suicide. Such luck! Mary Watson thinks that she will be a playground directress but she won’t because she isn’t capable of taking care of herself. But if she does become a directress she will get the hoof and mouth disease and on account of this she will be banished to the Leper Islands in the Indian Ocean. Can you imagine any one of these eggs ever being a naturalist? Well, I can’t, but nevertheless Anna Leiter lias the gumption to think that she will be one. But she won’t, a bolt of lightning will strike her knocking out her false teeth and then some one help her. If that don’t end her career some day when she is examining deep sea plant life she will get tangled up in a sea weed and spend the rest of her days teaching a school of fish down there. Then there’s ] oor Eleanor Tressler, it just grieves me when I think of her. She must have been born under an unlucky star for when her marks are high her deportment is low and when her deportment goes up her marks go down. There are a series of terrible fatalities in store for her. She expects to go north and make matresses with fresh pine needles but I can’t help but feel that she will drop into the sea with a fragment of a glacier. Then go floating out to mid-ocean on an iceberg. There she will go drifting along for miles, far from civilization. slowly starving to death till she gets into a warmer climate then the ice will melt out from her. Oh, its too horrible to think about! Mvrlle Milligan expects to take up scientific farming but can you imagine Mvrlle with a plow and a team of oxen. But 1 predict that she will get tangled up in tin harness and the oxen will run away with her and dump her in the creek. 1 know that she will later take pneumonia or something but this wdl give her the inspiration to become a high diver. But as she mounts the ladder to a heighth of 500 feet she will become very nervous. If she doesn’t fall off and get killed when -lie dives she will miss the tank. (Joodbye, Myrlle. 1 look for Lorna Kissinger to be a dressmaker but she will rob-ably cut or jag herself and get lockjaw and if this should happen what would poor Lorna do if she couldn’t talk for she certainly has the gift of gab. She would probably wonder out over the hill tops picking daffodils and daisies until an aeroplane came along and scalped her. Then the only thing she could do would be put on a wig and sell hair tonic for there is no job in the world for a bald headed woman. Now Dorothy goes bustling and bubbling around but if there is a banana peel lying around she is sure to stop on it or a hat with a brick under it she’s sure to kick it. Now Dot Rice goes bouncing and bobbing around but sooner or later she’ll come unaware to a hole with no bottom and then I declare alack and alas we’ll be short one more lass.