Newport High School - Blunita Yearbook (Newport, PA)

Page 16 text:

u THE BLl' E A N I) W HITE of the United States. Very nice position to pick out now all she has to do is wait for the President to come and marry her. Then off on a trip around the World. On the trip 1 am afraid she’ll fall in love with the King of S. B. Islands and the U. S. government can’t run without Mary so citizens be prepared to become slaves of the S. B. Islands. The loss of Mary is a tremendous loss to this nest. Violet Hombach is cut out for a physical directress, I don’t think. She claims that she will keep them all thin. For example just look at her. But I just know that while taking some violent exercise she will get a laughing spell and laugh herself to death. A large egg gone had. Price Hibbs is the would-be-sheik of this nest of so far bad eggs. He is very fastidious and expects to set the fashions for the rest of tlie world. But in such unique outfits he will be shot being taken as an anarchist or fcolshevist. Another bad egg. In a metropolitan opera house the curtain rises slowly, the audience was in breathless silence, and why shouldn’t it be the greatest singer in all the world was to appear that night. Whom 1j we recognize, ah! Kathryn lekes. After many performances she goes to Europe there she falls in love with an Austrian Duke. After the wedding she is to sing a song composed by the Duke. As she goes on the stage the audience gives her a round of applause, she begins to sing and the piece is about the bolshevists in the middle of the song someone rises in the back of the room, a pistol cracks and another egg falls from the nest. Next, William Snyder, the greatest scientist of the day. William graduated at Bailey’s Scientific Seminary and will assist Darwin by discovering the missing link. But if he succeeds in reaching Africa and lands anyways near the interior I just know that while crossing some river an alligator will grab him and take him to lower depths to investigate. Alfred Wolpert expects to be the cashier of the largest bank in the world. But I just know that the stock market will be very low' some day and A1 will borrow some money from the bank, of course he expects to return it but when the market goes on the rocks he w ill be forced to leave. Next he will be driving the Ford sedan of the queen of China. This gives A1 the inspiration to become an auto racer. We next hear of him as the speed king of Africa so we go to the race track to see him. But I know that he would have won the race except that traveling at the terrific rate of 25 miles an hour he ran off the track ami struck a coconnut tree, the nuts fell off, struck his hard character ami broke the milk drowned him. There is a great steel bridge being erected across the Atlantic. The bridge is nearly constructed and the crowds are passing to and fro on the bridge. Presently the crowd breaks and sends up cheer after cheer for we behold Hero Watson has arrived. He is the man who picked the perfect steel for the bridge. It is a great day for him. Suddenly a crash is heard in the distance ami the bridge collapsed. When St. Peter handed Hero a harp he said I can pluv only a saxo-

Page 15 text:

T H E BL U E A N I) W HITE 13 PESSIMISM Ladies anti Gentlemen, let me present for your approval this nest of the most magnificent squab eggs (that is in their own estimation). These young birds will be hatched tomorrow night after four years of the greatest care given them by their alma mater. Most of you i eople are here this evening because this town is so dry that electricity won’t burn or because you wanted to get in any place out of the rain. Probably the women are here because they wish to show off that new spring bonnet or some other fool thing they purchased out of their husband’s next pay check. You people will see if you look around 29 married couples here who are intensely interested m this nest of eggs. If you will stop to consider the reason you will think of this or hear some one say, “Yes, that one there in the red dress is my daughter or that one there in the black coat is my son. There are also a few who are interested in these 29 eggs beside the parents. Now before it is too late let us examine one of these eggs. The name written upon this egg is Annie. Now Bitner aspires to be ope of the greatest pianists of the time but she won’t be. Who ever told her she could play was mistaken and she let it go to her head. Annie will gel mixed up in some scandal and be put behind the bars. More expense for the citizens of Newport. One egg gone bad. Gertrude Berrier thinks she will be a school teacher but after whipping one of the children whose father was on the school board she was asked to resign and so she returned to Newport and placed a sign on the front porch. Can you imagine vhaj it is? It is this, “Washing done up to a standard, not down to a price.’’ Tlj£ seepnd egg gone Imd. You people probably don’t know it but Avhile in Washington these 29, eggs and their three chaps were nearly run out of town. You probably will never hear the last of it.but it may be lived down. Eva Fleisher expects to be a nurse. She thinks because she is an honor student that that will get her and hold her a position. She no doubt will beepme a nurse but she will fall in love with t p ilti-niil-lionaire patient and after the wedding the state asylum g ard iyjll be around to take him back to the bug house. Then back to the tarin .fpr Eva to brood over her High School Honors and to deliver her Commencement Oration to cows. Another egg gone bad. Paul Franklin Cauffman thinks that he is such a diplomat that he might consider accepting the judgeship of the World Court. He always did aim above his reach. But 1 just know that he will walk into some place for a t.urkisli bath, fall in love with the proprietor’s (laughter and return to Turkey with her. But I suppose while crossing the Hellespont in a raft, the raft will sink and he will go to the place that bears the first syllable for its name. Can you imagine such a deplorable ending for such an enterprising young man? Mary Harbaugh has decided to become tlje wife of the President

Page 17 text:

THE BLUE AND WHITE 15 phone so I’ll visit some place else. Our president, Mopey Trout, since lie was on the president’s yacht lias decided that he would become President of the l S. A. But when In- comes out on the Socialistic ticket, even though he is from Newport, take my advice and don’t vote for him. lie’s punk’ can’t talk, can’t think and even too tired to eat. If he does become president there is always a way of getting rid of such. Of course you can’t he certain but 1 feel it in my bones that he will he shot if lie ever becomes president. So don’t vote for him as it will only be wasted energy. The poor egg and the poor nest. Once upon a time not so many days ago a gypsy visited our town and Carrie Shull wanting to know her future had her fortune told. Of course it’s a secret but if you don’t tell she is going to be queen of China. Carrie is so elated that she can’t wait she is leaving in 1.5 minutes. But I just know that she, like Lady Macbeth, will commit so many murders to gain her desired goal that she will go Coo-coo. A poor nut and a poor egg. One afternoon about 3.50 I walked into the office of the Public Ledger and saw a young man sitting at the desk. Not being personally acquainted with the editor I mistook him for the editor hut when he addressed me I knew my mistake for I recognized his voice as that of an old class mate, Orville Babe Wright as editor of the Public Ledger. Can you imagine that? I surely can’t for none or this group can ever be a success. 1 heard the door close and saw an elderly man whom I took as the editor and I was correct for once for Babe immediately grabbed a bucket and started washing up the floor, lie cut his hand on a piece of glass and contracted blood poisoning from which he never recovered. I hope that he will regain the use of his hand for it is rather hard using a shovel with one hand. This nest of eggs must all be bad. Marie Magnuson has sent in her application to the Zeigfield Follies. Now all of you people know, or if you don’t take my word for it, but she was cut out for a house wife not a dancer. You all know that Marie cannot stand the late hours or all that violent exercise but if she does fill all the requirements she will throw a leg out of joint and have to use a wheel chair and a tin cup the rest yf her life. Bertie Kipp expects to be a runner, but he won’t be. He.thinks because he can walk around the track up here and then be handed a piece of tin with a little bronze on it that he is in shape for tlie Olympics but just wait. If he ever did get to France, which he won’t, and even though he had a chance to run, why before the race one of those little French girls would capture his heart and France would cop the race. If Bertie ever ran a real race some one would spike him and lie would come back to town so the citizens of Newport could buy him a wooden leg. Another egg bit the dust. Clee Keim has aspired to be the Fat Lady in Barnum and Bailey’s Circus. At least so it seems to the faculty and to the students for she