New York Medical College - Fleuroscope Yearbook (Valhalla, NY)

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CONNUBIAL BLISS SUGGESTION Let me take you by the hand And lead you thru this life: I'd gladly be your guiding star If I didn't have a wife. ERROR I still might say our friendship can Be really quite platonic: But if you think that that is so You're really quite moronic. EPILOGUE Now once again I'm back at home With wife and kids galore, I wish I could re-live my life, I'd use my will rnuch more. ' GALLAGI-IER POST - PARTUM HEMORRHAGE Thirteen little ones she had This last one dead, and she lies too As cold as marble ever laid In bleak New England hills God have mercy on the twelve at home. VERBARG RETURN TO CONSCIOUSNESS FOLLOWING ANAESTHESIA One hundred ninety-four As from a distance voices reached me: Voices haunting, soft and vibrant. lndistinct they Were, yet eagerly I sought to understand their meaning- In vain. They sank again beneath The comprehension of my tired brain. Time held no importance. And later Pain seared my utmost depths, rocked me To unwanted consciousness. I Peered at figures clad in white, Blurred and hazy. Gradually My eyes were focussed, vision Cleared. My lips, parched and cracked, Were moistened with sweet nectar. My feverish brow was cooled With soothing lotions. I turned To thank this saint-but pain bored In and tore my soul: insensate Once again. A swift return to Consciousness augured well. Sleep, sleep O'erpowered rne. Exhausted, I slept. GALLAGHER

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OUR' PROFS AYERS You'll find romance in medicine, if you look for it, so says this prof --but -doctor, we all can't be gynecologists. TRITSCH Look at those shades-too long for the windows: windows too long for the shades: sloDDY floors: dumb internes: etc. etc. etc. WI-IATA GUY. SAFFORD lust the man for a 9:00 A. M. Monday morning class. COCHEU p Broadway Lindsley -in a broad way this, in a broad way that: with a knee bend here and a knee bend there- STANFORD Can't understand how so fine a woman should want so very much to Bleed and Blind us. FIERRO and HOTCHKISS The supereducated Garbage folk. SCHMAHI.. Indifference personified. MACADAM Good old Wally-let's have another yarn. UPHAM HOUSE CHICK Tin-type Upham-Vim, Vigor, and Vitality. Headaches, sure you get headaches, you always get headaches, but what else do you get? -that's about all you gave us doctor .... . GRISWALD Swell fellow . . but how does he manage to keep from scaring the kids to death, that's what we would like to know . . . One of the very few men who can still recall his student days an-d treats us accordingly- BERKOVSKY FOBES The less said about this Master-Mind, the better. BINGHAM Scholar and gentleman . . . loved, respected and admired by all . . CI I'I1G1'1 CIIIIOIIQ' men. I had lunch with one of the Mayo brothers at the Ritz, and I said- Now see here Charley ...... SAMWORTH Listen, doc-that's quite a douche at 15-20 feet, with 10-60 pounds pres- sure, at atemperature of 45-125 degrees . . . don't you think . . . . . . RAISBECK Here today . . . gone tomorrow. IOHNSON Quick Watson, the pillow: what is this man-pediatrician or anaesthe- tician??? WILSON It's wise to do lots of bone-ing in order to avoid pulling any boners when studying for this prof's course . . . HETRICK An impressive ear-bender. MCGAVACK A little ray of 3X from California . . . no modalities. CALVERT We'll have him straight . . . no water on the side. One hundred ninety-three

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THE WEST PAVILION By George G. Ornstein, M. D., F. A. C. P. Associate Professor of Medicine ABOUT fourteen years ago on a sleepy Sunday morning I kept an appoint- ment to visit the Metropolitan Hospital. The cross-town trip from the West to the East side seemed to take so long. The air was heavy because of hu- midity and fog, and I began to wonder why I had consented to visit the hos- pital When I could have had a whole morning in bed and taken a much-needed rest. Yes, why was I going to the Metropolitan Hospital-oh, yes-I remember --there was that intensely interesting person who ran the medical clinic on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons at the Old Vanderbilt Clinic on West fifty- ninth street. Had I not told him I had no time for any more Work? Had I not politely said that even if I were interested there was no time left for even an hour a week? What with the laboratory every morning and a clinic every afternoon and Monterfiore Hospital so far in the Bronx to visit every other day, I could not saddle myself with any more work. Somehow, I did agree to visit the place and here I was on my way to some Island in the East River. The Bronx was bad enough to get to-now an island in the East River. No, that surely was not the place for me. Now, why was Dr. Weil so intent on having me come there? Well, he did say that there were many tuberculosis patients in the hospital. What of it, there were tuberculosis cases in other hospitals, and if I visited all of them I certainly could never catch up with my much-needed sleep. This was certainly the last Sunday morning I was go- ing to waste visiting tuberculosis hospitals. The coach suddenly lurched and swung up First avenue. I soon found out I had taken the wrong cross-town bus, and leaving the bus decided I had better walk the rest of the distance, and quickly, if I were not to miss the terry. I walked briskly through the fog-laden streets and reached the ferry just in time to board it. What a dismal boat and, dear Lord, where could such an odd group of passengers have been collect? The boat almost reeked of cheap whiskey-such shabbiness-such bad-smelling people. Who were these peo- ple: where were they going? Suddenly I felt a hand grasp my arm and, startled, I whirled around to find my friend. Come up to the pilot's room with me, he said. We will have a little privacy. We walked up to the upper deck of the boat and the captain, a genial fat man, made us most comfortable. In Heaven's name where did that motley group come from and what are they doing on this boat? When Dr. Weil said that they were the help return- ing to duty, I decided I had seen enough of the Metropolitan Hospital. Dr. Weil read my thoughts and tried to reassure me. He said the doctors al- ways rode with the captain. Yes, I said to myself, ride with the captain, but what can one do while waiting for the boat? . Iust looking at these dere- licts was very depressing. I was told that because of high wages in those years only the worst specimens of mankind would work for thirty dollars a month with room and board, such as it was. I tried to peer through the fog, and I am grateful today that the group of depressing buildings was hidden from my sight. What with such people, a fog, a river, a dismal boat, I am certain I could not have withstood all at one time the prison-like group of buildings. With a lot of whistling and ringing of bells We finally crossed the One hundred ninety five