New Utrecht High School - Comet Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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GED2 Qllnmzt THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW In cases of severe ptomaine poisoning a little camphor oil, rubbed gently in the toe- nail of the middle toe of the right foot, will leave the patient almost entirely unaf- fected. A little turpentine and a handful of flour, mixed with one pint of red ink, wlil often produce a mixture quite unfit to drink. The tonsils should be oiled regularly and bathed in warm sunshine to prevent rust ac- cumulation. Two drops of cod-liver oil with dental floss to a blue serge suit will often produce a grease spot. We wish to inform you, that the Comet beat the nuhr in basketball, 12-O. The nzzhr of course, was ashamed to print it. As the daily newspaper describes it- These two blows weakened the latter and after taking a few more punches the referee stopped the light. Goldie: Have you ever been to the town of the clogged sewers? Silvy: No. Where is that? Goldie: Venice. Mr. Saunders: What is the meaning of the word technique? Max Lipshitz: The act of accomplishing the impossible with the utmost difficulty. Mr. Swhan: Where do we take sugar from? Allen: From the sugar bowl. . Mr. Cohen and Mr. Moses went to see a wrestling match between Jim Londos and Stein. When they got in the stadium the match was started and Londos had a head- lock on Stein. About twenty minutes after Londos got another headlock on Stein and Mr. Moses said, Let's go, Cohen, this is where we came in. Socky Levitan: What did your father say when he saw such low marks on your report card? Mel Margolin: He didn't say anything, because he realizes the depression. Mr. Grubnick tells us about the time dur- ing President McKinley's administration when an ardent Republican said of the Dem- ocrats, I will not insinuate that all the Democrats are horse-thieves but I will say that all horse-thieves are Democrats. Bernard Lang tells us that the seventh form dance was quite a success in spite of his absence from the affair. Did you know that: Prohibition is producing staggering re- sults? Scotch jokes are now being bottled? A polished gentleman is not always bright? Dog days are bad enough, but cat nights are worse? The owner of a second hand car is al- ways trying to 'start something? Radio is still in its infancy? We can tell that by the noise it produces. The penitentiary is no place for a journ- alist. It takes too long to complete a sen- tence there. The meanest man in the world is the warden who puts a tack in the electric chair. I came to say good-bye. I'm going to be operated on at the hospital this evening. Well, I hope everything comes out all right. One: I hear that Jack only likes blondes. Two: So they say. I'm dyeing to meet him. Twenty-five

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dtbe Gomer p he had popped the question, When can I see your mother ? I kissed her only once last night because -nobody interrupted us. Undertaker's song: I'1l be glad when you're dead, You rascal, you. Charlie, the Cynic says: A man who's been lucky in love is a bachelor. MORNING BECOMES EVENING QA Biology in Three Sactsj Scene one and three quarters: The front of the Sact mansion in the outskirts of some woman. The morning sun is just dying in the west. The apples are ripe. A man is smoking a cigarette-somewhere else. Sic: War is hell! Sac: Then I'm not going to war! End of Act One: curtain rings down midst tremendous, fervent, magnificent, wonderful, great applause. Scene Four and Five: Outskirts of the Sact Mansion: It's another female, this time. Same time, same place, same characters. The sun is dead. Sac: Oy! Sic: Oy! Curtain: Silence in the theatre. They are overwhelmed and cannot clap. Scene nine and twenty: The inside of a pickle barrel. The sun has risen, night has gone tout for a drinkj. The characters are three pickles. One: I am wet. Two: You are wet. Three: -11 End of play: Theatre empties. In fact, it has been empty all the time. Twenty-four Dr. L.: Why were you absent yesterday? Milty Tenenbaum: My grandmother died. Dr. L.: What? This is the third time she has died this term! M.T.: Yes sir: but my granfather was a Mormon. Mailman: ls this package for you? the name is obliterated. Bertha: No, the package can't be for me, my name's Rubman. A wise old owl lived in an oak, The more he heard, the less he spoke. The less he spoke the more heard, How few are the students who imitate this bird. Our science department states in cases of bloody noses it is not advisable to prevent the flow of blood by a tourniquet around the neck. Mr. Inman recently returned a plate of spinach to a restaurant because he declared the spinach was lacking one of its vitamins. Many people have drawn out ways of saying the same thing. Betty Epstein says, The green grass grows all around. Joe Greenspan says, The green foliage contin- ues to vegitate in the vicinity. Betty Epstein: Did you ever take chloro- form? Leo Genzeloff: No, who teaches it? Mr. Rosenzweig: Why weren't you at re- hearsals yesterday, Adler. Sid Adler: Because I wasn't there. Ben Kline: Well, I guess I'1l go into the study and study. Ben Katz: That's a good idea. I'm sleepy too.

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A Message To The Senior Class From Dr. Leuchs N a few days you-and I hope this means all of you-will be grad- uated from our New Utrecht High School and will have completed another stage-I trust it may not be the last stage-in your education- al career. I congratulate you most heartily upon this definite achievement and I wish you the highest possible degree of success in the future. Most of you have been so regular in your attendance, punctuality, and general deportment that I have hardly been able to make your personal acquaint- ance. In all of you I have the utmost faith and I cannot express too em- phatically my unshakable belief that there resides within each one of you a great store of goodness and of usefulness which has manifested it- self during the years of your membership in this school and which will continue to manifest itself, of course, along far deeper and broader lines, as you grow older. It has been the pleasant duty of us, your teachers, to guide and to help you in your formal education. Perhaps we seem at times to have been unduly abrupt and severe in our attitude toward you. In a large institution such as this, discipline and precision are necessary factors. If there is one last thought I would have you carry away with you it is this: We teachers, I think I may speak for all my colleagues, do not for a moment imagine ourselves to be any nearer to perfection than any other group of persons is, or should hold itself to be. We are human and we err. Our field, education, is an art of infinite intricacies and possibilities. We, who are engaged in it, are probably more often than any one else at a loss as to just how to act. But we can truthfully say that we are a serious, conscientious, striving body of persons. It is this confident belief that has invariably prompted me, as Dean of Boys, to uphold at all times, the decision of the teacher. He may not seem to you always to have shown perfect judgment, but as you look back I trust you will feel that he was sincere in his dealings with you. You will find similar conditions as you go forth into the world for which we are supposed to train you. You may often have to submit to the dis- agreeable and the difficult, you will occasionally have to face conditions in life that seem unfair and that are, indeed, false, when measured by the standards of scientific accuracy, yet you will find yourselves all the better for such occasional experiences. And so I hope you will leave our school with the feeling that we, as a body, have meant well with you and that we shall ever be glad to hear from you and to see you again as the years roll on. F. A. H. L. I wezzly-Jix