New Utrecht High School - Comet Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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dtbe Gomer p he had popped the question, When can I see your mother ? I kissed her only once last night because -nobody interrupted us. Undertaker's song: I'1l be glad when you're dead, You rascal, you. Charlie, the Cynic says: A man who's been lucky in love is a bachelor. MORNING BECOMES EVENING QA Biology in Three Sactsj Scene one and three quarters: The front of the Sact mansion in the outskirts of some woman. The morning sun is just dying in the west. The apples are ripe. A man is smoking a cigarette-somewhere else. Sic: War is hell! Sac: Then I'm not going to war! End of Act One: curtain rings down midst tremendous, fervent, magnificent, wonderful, great applause. Scene Four and Five: Outskirts of the Sact Mansion: It's another female, this time. Same time, same place, same characters. The sun is dead. Sac: Oy! Sic: Oy! Curtain: Silence in the theatre. They are overwhelmed and cannot clap. Scene nine and twenty: The inside of a pickle barrel. The sun has risen, night has gone tout for a drinkj. The characters are three pickles. One: I am wet. Two: You are wet. Three: -11 End of play: Theatre empties. In fact, it has been empty all the time. Twenty-four Dr. L.: Why were you absent yesterday? Milty Tenenbaum: My grandmother died. Dr. L.: What? This is the third time she has died this term! M.T.: Yes sir: but my granfather was a Mormon. Mailman: ls this package for you? the name is obliterated. Bertha: No, the package can't be for me, my name's Rubman. A wise old owl lived in an oak, The more he heard, the less he spoke. The less he spoke the more heard, How few are the students who imitate this bird. Our science department states in cases of bloody noses it is not advisable to prevent the flow of blood by a tourniquet around the neck. Mr. Inman recently returned a plate of spinach to a restaurant because he declared the spinach was lacking one of its vitamins. Many people have drawn out ways of saying the same thing. Betty Epstein says, The green grass grows all around. Joe Greenspan says, The green foliage contin- ues to vegitate in the vicinity. Betty Epstein: Did you ever take chloro- form? Leo Genzeloff: No, who teaches it? Mr. Rosenzweig: Why weren't you at re- hearsals yesterday, Adler. Sid Adler: Because I wasn't there. Ben Kline: Well, I guess I'1l go into the study and study. Ben Katz: That's a good idea. I'm sleepy too.

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TES Mr. Leonard has been in print so often lately that he hast1't found time to read all the articles. wt . Generally speaking, school is a tough racket: If you answer questions briefly in history, you don't know your stuff, If you say a great deal, the teacher thinks you are bluffing. If you go to class, you are annoyed for a period, if you cut, you are suspended. Eunice Kowalsky knows a boy who has the largest tonsils in the United States. Imagine the embarrassment of the vac- uum cleaner salesman who once asked the President's wife if she had a little Hoover in her home. You won't be so smart now, said father to Willie as he put away the strap. In a bio. class: Ambitious Octopus to his gal: Let me put my arms around you, sweetheart. The Pilgrim fathers gave thanks for a dry land and now they have it. fOh Yeahlj Stop! John! Stop! you're crushing me! Stop! What do you think youlre doing, writing a telegram PH One: Hear about the gal in the cotton stockings? Two: No, what happened to her? One: Nothing. Julius Gottlieb tells us how we won the Soccer Championship. I saw time was getting short and there was no use in playing any more in the snow so I picked up the ball and began an end run which demoralized the entire Morris team. As one of the opposing players was about to tackle me, I shot the ball at the basket on the outdoor basketball court. The ball bounced on the rim and one of the Morris players caught it and immediately threw it up the ice where I interecepted it with the hockey stick I was carrying in my pocket and batted the ball far over the out- Iielder's head. I, being a bright young man, raced to where the ball was to land and on the fifteen yard line I attempted a drop kick that fell short into the goal, thus giv- ing New Utrecht its first Soccer Champion- ship. Irene Tautitz, pretty typist, Really made a hit With her new boss, Dave A. Meyer. But she had to quit When he noticed on each letter She had signed DAM:IT After studying physics, we have come to the following conclusions : Wind is air in a hurry. Vapor is patched water. A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending. Young man,', said the angry Mr. Fine, as he grabbed the senior by the collar, I believe Satan himself has got hold of you! ! Said the Senior: Yes, I believe he has. She blushed in surprise, although she had expected this, she could not stifle an excla- mation. Her friends had warned her that it would come to thisg but she had not thought his feelings were so intense. Oh! the shame and consternation that were hers! For she was a mere child, and he was a high and mighty. He was the Principal and Twenty-three

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GED2 Qllnmzt THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW In cases of severe ptomaine poisoning a little camphor oil, rubbed gently in the toe- nail of the middle toe of the right foot, will leave the patient almost entirely unaf- fected. A little turpentine and a handful of flour, mixed with one pint of red ink, wlil often produce a mixture quite unfit to drink. The tonsils should be oiled regularly and bathed in warm sunshine to prevent rust ac- cumulation. Two drops of cod-liver oil with dental floss to a blue serge suit will often produce a grease spot. We wish to inform you, that the Comet beat the nuhr in basketball, 12-O. The nzzhr of course, was ashamed to print it. As the daily newspaper describes it- These two blows weakened the latter and after taking a few more punches the referee stopped the light. Goldie: Have you ever been to the town of the clogged sewers? Silvy: No. Where is that? Goldie: Venice. Mr. Saunders: What is the meaning of the word technique? Max Lipshitz: The act of accomplishing the impossible with the utmost difficulty. Mr. Swhan: Where do we take sugar from? Allen: From the sugar bowl. . Mr. Cohen and Mr. Moses went to see a wrestling match between Jim Londos and Stein. When they got in the stadium the match was started and Londos had a head- lock on Stein. About twenty minutes after Londos got another headlock on Stein and Mr. Moses said, Let's go, Cohen, this is where we came in. Socky Levitan: What did your father say when he saw such low marks on your report card? Mel Margolin: He didn't say anything, because he realizes the depression. Mr. Grubnick tells us about the time dur- ing President McKinley's administration when an ardent Republican said of the Dem- ocrats, I will not insinuate that all the Democrats are horse-thieves but I will say that all horse-thieves are Democrats. Bernard Lang tells us that the seventh form dance was quite a success in spite of his absence from the affair. Did you know that: Prohibition is producing staggering re- sults? Scotch jokes are now being bottled? A polished gentleman is not always bright? Dog days are bad enough, but cat nights are worse? The owner of a second hand car is al- ways trying to 'start something? Radio is still in its infancy? We can tell that by the noise it produces. The penitentiary is no place for a journ- alist. It takes too long to complete a sen- tence there. The meanest man in the world is the warden who puts a tack in the electric chair. I came to say good-bye. I'm going to be operated on at the hospital this evening. Well, I hope everything comes out all right. One: I hear that Jack only likes blondes. Two: So they say. I'm dyeing to meet him. Twenty-five