New Trier Township High School - Echoes Yearbook (Winnetka, IL)

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BORED OF EDUCATION PLAYERS: 2 - 5,000 adviser for restrictions and regulations ftoo numerous to listj OBJECT: to successfully complete a day at New Trier Township MATERIALS: dice, a number two pencil, an English handbook High School a lab notebook, three folders, at least two hardcover books and RULES: every man for himself - see Student Guide Book or money for lunch Advigory fire alarm goes off football game tonight 8:1 5 ATHLETIC FIELD GET PSYCHED receive a ditch for a stopped by a narc take the afternoon off class you attended leavmg Campus GO TO ADVISER THANK THE CHAIRMAN. DO NOT COMPUTER SHOW YOUR I D PASS WHITE'S sent to adviser chairman 8:1 8 WAIT IN LINE UNTIL 8:35 START leave term paper on me bus GO BACK TO START 6th period lunch all the Eskimo Pies are gone GO TO WHITE S Green Bay lot is full PROCEED DIRECTLY TO ELDER LANE forget P.E. uniform es RUN ONE LAP

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ACT I Setting: MUEFYS glorious mansion Enter: jet-set MUMMY wearing a mink shawl and dangling the keys to the Rolls. She is followed by a trail of servants. Enter: MUEEY wearing an electric pink skirt and a lime green turtleneck. MUFFY: Why are you home from Paris so soon? MUMMY: lt was a little chilly. How was your day, dear? MUEEY: Well, Bitsy and l were planning to fly to Buenos Aires for the polo match, but Biffs having this great gig on his yacht Friday night, and we just miss it. MUMMY: Oh, that's nice. Before you go to study, would you please fill your Mercedes with gas and clean the catbox. MUEEY: Grodyl MUMMY lights a cigarette and sports the HMrs. Robinson look. Meanwhile, MUFEY pulls out of the driveway and heads for the gas station but decides to go shopping and turns the Mercedes toward Old Orchard. Pulling out her credit cards, she cranks Bruce Springsteen and the Grate- ful Dead on the car stereo simultaneously. ACT III Setting: School is out, and the students are walking through Indian Hill Park to the Green Bay parking lot. MUEEY: Wait up, Sebastianl SEBASTlAN rolls his eyes back and adjusts his bandana, waiting as MUEEY runs toward him with arms full of books. MUFFY: Were you at Chip's party last Saturday? SEBASTIAN: No, man, l missed it. MUFFY: Why's that? lt was really wild - SEBASTlAN: Ccutting her short, angeredb Look, l don't go to parties. They're only an outlet for the deviations of your true character that are repressed by the ultra- conservative values impressed upon you by your parents. The kind of parties that you go to stifle your individuality and demand intolerable conformity, ACT II Setting: A classroom filled with students sporting well-worn topsiders, monogrammed sweaters, and cute nicknames. TEACHER: Good morning, class. CLASS: Good morning, teacher. TEACHER: Now l know that you're all exemplary students, socialites and young capitalists who are unable to judge people in any other way than by the amount of beer they can drink in a weekend, but Chumblyi l think maybe itls time for you to question these traditional values. An uproar arises among the students. MUFEY takes charge. MUEFY: Oh my God! Question? You could get fired for asking us to re-evaluate our beliefs. Now, don't get me wrong. We do respect your opinion. Just don't impose it on us. We prefer to remain terminally cute. The class applauds politely as TEACHER hangs her head in shame and returns to discussion of War and Peace as it relates to The Preppy Handbook. MUEFY: Cindignantb What Q you talking about? SEBASTIAN. Cearnestlyl Muffy, l believe that there's sincer- ity and originality somewhere deep within you, beneath all those layers of clothes and that ridiculous nickname. MUFEY: Csnivellingb What do you mean?! llm independent: l have my own car and ten credit cards in my own name. l just don't understand! SEBASTlAN quickens his pace, ignoring Muffy. Muffy jogs beside him. MUEFY: Anyway, are you going to Biffs gig on Friday? SEBASTLAN: Csincerelyb Fm afraid not. l'll be in Buenos Aires for the polo tournament. I THE END STUDENT LIFE 5

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class lecture period FALL ASLEEP the 2nd enter the wrong classroom SUFFER EMBARRASSMENT see biology movie TAKE NOTES the bell rings PICK UP BOOKS confuse 3rd floor with trip on stairs, wait until o you re prepared for a pop quiz GO AHEAD 2 NICH SPACES book the beeper goes off RETURN TO 'I'HE LIBRARY miss your bus STAY AT SCHOOL UNTIL 4:30 eat your homework BCPLAIN TO TEACHER forget to check out a your dog really does than 4 books GO DIRECTLY TO THE WEST CAMPUS School's out 3:30 FINISH your change COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGEMENT complete a test early PROCEED TO COMMONS avoid main staircase sneak into elevator GO AHEAD 2 SPACES seen carrying more Pepsi machine forgets