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ecf of 1949 by Stephanie Smyrski and Abigail Treat As I walk up the path, through the great iron gates leading to the White House, I feel an almost overcoming anticipation. The President of the United States, David Thomas McGoldrick, has invited me to his fifth inaugural celebration. Although I haven't been in Washington lately, I have kept up correspondence with the Vice-President, Stephanie Smyrski, who is hostess for this affair. A peculiar man in a kelly-green suit, with matching derby and brief case, rushes past me. I shockingly realize that this is Geoffrey Graham, the official punster of the executive department. I've heard that Mr. Graham ran out of high school audiences, and was forced to pursue the only group that would listen to his jokes. Now, approaching the main entrance to the White House, I see a great many people on the lawn around me. One man in particular seems very familiar. Why, it's Maurice Grossenbacher, who was also a member of my high school class. Maurice has been very successful as chairman of the International Farm Bureau. Stephanie hangs her head out of the window, beckoning me to come in, but I'm waylaid by Elsie Adams, this year's winner of the Golden Gloves title. As I make my way through the milling crowd, after escaping Elsie without acquiring a black eye, a wave of horror sweeps over me as I find myself staring into the glistening eyes of a huge African lion! My consternation is somewhat relieved as I discover that the lion is led on leash by the renowned big game hunter, Teddy Booth. At long last I manage to arrive at the door where Stephanie is waiting. She smiles and says: Why, Abigail, how good it is to see you. I trust your trip from England was a pleasant one? I hear that the command performance of your latest picture 'Obsessed' was a huge success. Thank you, Stephanie. You know, don't you, that John Berthelsen co-starred with me. It was a great honor, for John was voted this year's most ardent lover by the Gallop Polls. I’ve just been talking to our old classmates, Stewey and Lorraine. Their new product, 'Chase and Washburn Coffee,' is drunk by two out of every three people nowadays. They said that they ran into Herby Armstrong while they were in New York on business. He was on his way to the Metropolitan Opera House to play a violin duet with Jascha Heifitz. Speaking of the 'Met.,' Harvey Conn and the New York Philharmonic are playing there, aren't they? Yes, the reviews speak very highly of his orchestral direction. Even Dick Geissinger, the most talked about tenor in opera today, says that there is no finer conductor. I'm sorry that my old friend Anne Altermatt couldn't come as planned. She's on an important case for the F.B.I. Anne has worked her way up through the Bureau until now, when J. Edgar Hoover resigns, she will assume his position, in the top drawer, of course. Did you know that Dick Cavonius was here? I can scarcely believe that a member of the old class of 49 created 'The Evolution of Interplanetary Relations'. Yes, I saw him over near the piano, talking with John O'Donnell about the prospects of higher mathematics in secondary schools. John teaches calculus and advanced mathematics at Harvard now. I wrote invitations to all the members of our high school class so that we could have a class reunion. This morning I received a telegram from our Ambassador to Brazil, Duane Adams, expressing regret that he could not come because of some sort of difficulties he is having with the Amazons. Admiral Paul Pare’s fleet is going down there tomorrow to try to rescue him. Doctor Paul Staub was also unable to come tonight because of an emergency case at Leahey Clinic. Mentioning doctors, is Doctor Weiner here? Or couldn't he leave his cow and horse hospital? Yes, Marty is here. He's going to speak tonight on the great research being done in the veterinary field. He wants Congress to pass a law shortening the plow horse's working week. His assistant, nurse Viola Page, will also deliver a speech. Oh, there's Bill Burnett proudly showing everyone the Certificate of Merit he received as owner of the nation's safest taxi fleet. That reminds me, have you heard that the world's fastest midget auto demon, Warren Carlson, cracked up at the Danbury Race Way last week and broke his leg? Patricia Peet, his ace mechanic, claims that it was the fault of a loose valve, but I think he took his eyes off the track! Here comes Norman Smith accompanied by Malcolm Carrier, the White House detective. Smitty was sent by the New York Times to photograph the inaugural celebration. 30
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