New Lincoln School - Yearbook (New York, NY)

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rod! Over in another corner of the great hall, there appeared before our amazed eyes the figure of a care-worn maiden, hunched over the leaves of a beautifully engraved booklet entitled 'The U.N. Report on Atomic Energy'. Spake Blysseus then unto us, 'There you View a studious maid, well-learned in the manners and morals of atoms, with hope foremost in her heart to one day become high priestess of Physicus. Turning our eyes from these tortured V ones, we entered the room of Biologus. There, WGS a collection of ghoulish creatures poking about in the inner workings of dead rats and relishing the grisly sight. 'Ch, lead us away!' we cried, and Blysseus brought us unto the rooms where the unfortunate slaves were ' schooled in complicated manipulations with Q numbers. Seated beneath a towering black slate rg , was the mentor of this class, chanting incom- N K prehensible words at her stupified charges. A vague and unsubduable murmur filled the high- , v walled room. Tomorrow, tomorrow was the day ' of the long-dreaded supreme sacrifice...to- morrow was the day of the test! Then, above .S X the babbling, worried populance rose mightily Q the cry, shrill and vibrating, of a maiden V 'iblond and scowling, whose voice my men and I 4: fa could compare to naught in our travels but the gi screeching eagles of Zeus almighty. Llven as 'jf we turned to Blysseus, the Pencilshaker, for 4 explanation of this phenomenon, the light- hairea damsel leapt from her seat to defy the word of her lord, the mentor of the black slate, ana conducted forth were we, out of that mighty Chamber. shortly thereafter, conducted were we by izlysseus unto the rooms where strange tongues were taught: that ot the Gauls in the north and that of the lllyrians in the west. Q Upon glancing into the room of the Gaulic lan- guage, we were immediate- Q1 ly struck by the sight gl of the great dispensor- of-wisdom attempting I I ay, using all the powers Q. 0 I B which the gods had given 'I her, to Curb the antics I C of a bushy-haired youth seated in a corner of the chamber. It was of no avail. My men were 1 fairly frightened out of their wits by the gutter- NNN, coming from his throat, and the flapping of arms al, ape-like mutterings -A

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'Do you know the name of yonder aged one?' 'Ay, verily,' she said, 'and I also have imprinted my thoughts on that tablet that he reads. I am the nymph whose function is to make NThe New Linku bloom every two weeks. This I do with the aid of my genie, Mimeographus.' 'where does this Mimeographus abide that we may seek him out?' 'Ah, you cannot do that, fair stranger, for he lives in the underworld, covered with inky blackness, and anyone who touches him becomes of his color. I bid thee farewell. See ya sometime,kid.' And, so saying, she betook herself down the road after the aged one. Next we came upon a strange creature, wearing some strange manner of goggles over his eyes, who sat playing a peculiar type of lute, with hammers to pluck the strings instead of his own fingers. There he sat, hurling every manner of curse and damnation upon his instrument. Indeed, as we first approached, we heard him say, 'Ah'm so durned mad ah could spit!' ITrans- Lator's note: This particular personage was probably from southern Greece.1 tax nLeaving this mad minstrel hammering his instrument, we reached a strange edifice, stand- IY-! ing in the true center of the island. Prom it came cries resembling those heard from souls in Hades, every manner of anguished shriek poured forth from the great building. warily, we step- ped inside, fearing for our lives. It was then that we were in the presence of the great Pencil- shaker, Bob Blysseus. with a cry of greedy rage, he swooped down, seized two of my men, knocked their heads together, and made a meal of them. As he sat licking his chops, we withdrew to a protected corner of the chamber, cowering in fear. But the great Pencil- shaker drew us therefrom saying, 'Need not fear, for I shan't touch anymore of your men, two being the standard meal in these parts. Come see our hardy slaves at work.' And so saying, he lead us to two great rooms. 'There are two hard masters here, Physicus and Biologus, let us regard Physicus firstn As we stepped into the great hall, we were arrested by the horrifying scent of Toluol, which is used to purge the poor victims of their sins. There sat XFN the poor, cowering slaves, adding L' ciphers and reciting formulae in a HJ strange gibberish. Indeed, one was trying to draw an egg from a flask into his mouth. 1 UNear by us sat one of the slaves who drew forth from his pocket two S long, slender, interlocking wooden A rods, and this curly-headed youth commenced abstruse figuring on the is contraption. The awe-full Blysseus then said unto us, 'Yon curly-headed youth goes by the name of Slide-rul- erides, condemned for the remainder of his life to think and speak only by means of this fiendish sliding

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and slapping of thighs which accompanied the outburst. As the rest of the group busied itself in copying down bits of Gaulic history and pertinent as- pects of Gaulic grammar, there rose from the back of the room Q piercing voice which shrieked, 'Touch me again and I'l1 screaml' Frightened lest we should be swept into the clutchesof the bushy-haired youth, and having seen enough, we hastened from that door and sped on frightened feet unto the cham- ber of those who wished to be educated in the mysteries of the Illyrian lan- guage. The great Pencilshaker, Blysseus, having peered around the door, in- formed us with gracious words that the gloom and darkness which were in that chamber would prevent us from viewing the sacred rite which was being per- formed, they were seeing a movie. with heads bent and sorry countenance, we were ushered along the great hall. Hwhile in our wanderings, we saw the great hall of feasting whence came the sound of dishes clashing one against the other, and a merry chatter of voices. Turning our backs upon this hearten- ing scene, we were confronted with a horrible spectacle. There, before our astonished eyes A was a deep, enclosed pit wherein dwelt a hor- Q rible monster, barred and suspended from cables which engulfed unfortunate passersby on upper levels and spewed them forth on the lower ones X . While we feasted our eyes on this marvel, the monster stopped before us and disgorged a fair young girl with graceful, black tresses, who said not a word but smiled graciously upon us and hastened on. Before she was out of sighg Plysseus called her unto him and said, 'As thou art my slave and as these noble strangers have asked me for my counsel, I would desire it of you that you hasten to deliver this mes- sage of import.' Not biding one more instang the girl hastened away into the unknown depths V 7 49 'Q' it C 1 'Cla Q -X' ,I if r ,vu -ff, .P 1' ,, Na A al 6 X g,, and we were left alone. spake no more Blysseuq V but led us into the black cage and, although x ' - my men shivered and shook, I strode in boldly as a lion to the kill, for had I not seen the Q monster Scylla, with her six heads and cruel teeth? HArriving safely at the lower levels, Blysseus brought us into the rooms where slaves shaped figures out of the clay of mother earth, while others busied themselves with daubing paint on tablets or hacking great boards of sweet-smelling pine, while yet others brewed vile concoctions in great ovens we paused to watch two youths, one tall and slender, and the other with his hair close-cropped. while we observed them, they were stirrinQ G 1GTQ9 Pot of white, creamy substance, which wou later be shaped into a mold, thus en- abling large quantities of trinkets to be manufactured and eventual large sums of money to be gained. We listened to their Conversation. Said the tall one to the shorter one, 'Hark friend, unto the thundering footsteps of the approaching Blysseus.' And answered ha..tily the Other, HY-ITTYJ let Us hasten to ena our work and then take ourselves hence.' lmpressed by the in- dustriousness of these two stalwartlGdS, we flung a lastglance at the swirl- ing pot of plaster and wended our way past scattered busy people, all the :rl x. W I