New Lexington High School - Lexingtonian Yearbook (New Lexington, OH)

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The best restaurant in town was piloted by a naturalized Russian, Herman Thompson, so of course I found myself patronizing home industry. His head waitress, Margaret Williamson, brought me a bowl of the same kind of soup that Lennie and Trotsky have thrived on for years After a short stay in the Russian capitol, I again boarded the trick train and after a series of bumps, jars, concussions, jerks and jumps, I found myself in the heat of Monte Carlo. The Casino was, of course, my first stop and the owner, a short, florid man, came puffing up to me and emitted one single, affable grunt; it was Eugene Hynus in person. Over his shoulder I saw an enormous back and a sonorous voice sounded mournfully, “Come seven, tiger dice, claw me.” Joe Allen, apparently unsuccessful in his latest effort, turned despairingly around and muttered, “If I were as lucky as Earl Bennett and Nial Holcomb I’d never leave this place. Guess I'll go back to court and judge a few more cases.” I soon tired of the prize gambling concessions so I bade goodbye to the populace and soon sped merrily on my way to Arabia, the land of caravans and fig leaves. I saw Bob Garey from the train window and a few rods distant was Art Saunders engaged in his manful pursuit of hunting dates. Walking down the main street of Mecca, I spied a sign which read, “American Missionary Relief.” Seeking conversation with some one of my tongue I entered and the leader, Esther King, showed me the honor roll of that particular society and there were six of our classmates whose names were inscribed thereon : Lucille Lee, Lucille Dennison, Pauline Randolph, Elizabeth Gifford, Kathryn Holden and Ralph Grant. My mind greatly relieved at having talked to some one that didn't sound like a concert of hyenas in a zoo, I boarded something that looked like a cross between our city hack and a cloud of dust and it seemed many months later that I was able to board a boat to go to Tokio. There I found Ethel Yar-ger on a lecture tour and Stanley Van Atta playing his saxaphone in the Mikado’s orchestra. As there is nothing to see in Tokio except eyes, lotus blossoms and jinrikishas, I soon tired of it all and, homesick, I boarded a boat bounded for San Francisco. The people of that city were all ajoy over the arrival of Bernice Rockwell, a charming debutante, and her chum in their imported car; but being so near home, nothing of the kind could interest me. Ev. Crossan and her lifelong chum, Veronica McGonagle, were respectively united in the holy bonds of matrimony but they couldn’t give up their life’s work so they are still matrons of the Granga County Children’s Home. As for myself, 1 like to portray a life on flowery beds of ease, but unless some unseen God or Goddess (preferably Goddess) aids me, all I can do is hope. Requiscat in pace. Lauris Matthews.

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JUNIOR CLASS