New Hartford High School - Senior Annual Yearbook (New Hartford, NY)

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HUMCR Uncle Ezra says: UA ruse is a blind, a blind is a shadeg a shade is a color, a color is paint, and paint is rouge. Therefore, by cracky, rouge must be a ruse. How many of you fellows agree? There is no question that the automobile now has completely displaced the horse. We found a piece of fan belt in our hamburger the other day at lunch. Ed Kell y says that the flavor of an onion may be greatly improved by the addition of a pound of hamburg. We hear that Rhode Island is to erect a monu- ment to the chicken for which it is famous. We wonder if the statue will stand in the middle of the road. We also hear that Spot', DeI.ia has already had his car overhauled three times-and all three times by the same motor cop. Officer-uHi there, sister, can't you see that's a one-way street?', Ruth Steele- Well, I'm only going one way, ain't I? Did you know that eye trouble is not nearly so often due to defective glasses as it is to the stuff we put in them? Bill Fix wants to know why it is that depressions always have to occur during bad times. Hm. Don't worry, all you debtors. The little birds out on the lawn in the early morning chirp happily even though their bills, too, are all over dew. 30 And even though he is invariably on his last legs, the kangaroo is supremely happy. A word to the wise: Always drive at the speed to which you now slow down when you see a motor cop. Bill Rielly- Prof., I don't think that I should get zero on this examf, Prof. Bancroft- Neither do I, but that's the lowest mark there is.', Miss Daly- What did you find out about the salivary glands?', Nan Simon- I couldn't find a thing. They were too darn secretive. Betty Townsend - What makes you so wor- ried 7' jane Kellyi I just lost 355,000 in a crap game. Betty- Five thousand V' janef Yeah, and the heck of it is that 52 was in cash. Have you heard about the screen star in Holly- wood who was always eating green crab-apples and then sending for someone to double up for her? Temperance Lecturer- Friends, I have lived here all my life. In this town there are fifty taverns and I am proud to say that I have never been in one of them. Bill McAndrews- And which one's that? Dope-f Are you in business? 2nd Ditto- Yeah, in the sauce business. lst D.f How's business? 2nd D.gi'Worse-dis-year.

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Some of the Things We Seniors have Never Learned in our Four Years of High School How long is a short circuit? Why is it that night falls and never breaks, while day breaks and never falls? Who won the Industrial Revolution? Why they close the banks on Washingt0n's Birthday if he was such an honest man? Which way Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs went? What animals did Bacon and Lamb come from? VUho bottled Eli Whitney's cotton gin? How many feet in Scotland Yard? Why a railroad train always leaves its tracks behind? What people did before the Law of Gravity was passed? Where's Elmer? How does a person sharpen his shoulder blades? Is a three-bodied legislature a freak? What does a Katy-did do? Who was Spinning Jenny? Was Boss Tweed a tailor? Who wore the Whiskey Ring? Why is it that blackberries are red when they are green? Where is Tobacco Road? Where does time march? How fast can you get nowhere? Why does a butter-fly? What does a cir-cuit? What is a sul-phur? How much is the toll on the Wheatstone Bridge? 29 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Who was Hobo-ken? How long is a to-day? What does a shoe-string? What does a neck-tie? How we got to be seniors? What will happen to the old school when we're gone? Will the frosh get much smaller? What does the Tattler', tattle on? Where is that promised elevator to the third floor? What happened to the room decorating fad started by Prof. Bancroft? Why study since the more you know, the more you forget and therefore the less you know? What will happen to all the maps now that Austria has disappeared? What's the use? Why dates are always hungry when all you have is seven cents? Where has jack Benny? Why other people don't understand us? Why we couldn't have had a four-hour day? Why we can't Whistle While We Work in class? What happened? Why everybody else knows our locker combina- tion ? Which room is the worst sweatshop in school? QThey're all badj. Why is grass green? Why is snow white? What happened to all the snow we shoveled? How come?

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PERSONALS ANDY HILLHOUSE resolved to get a tan in Florida to impress his New Hartford friends and he did it in such a big way that he had to fly back QTranscontinental Linesj to cool off! PHIL PALMROS lives for the times when a certain young man from Boston drops into Lortz's to keep her com- pany while she eats QED her lunch. If you want to see BIRDIE beam, just mention CHUCK. That Hamilton lad has completely lost his heart to our chere petite, MARION COTINS. JANE OWEN and HESH GRAYSTONE were co-chair- men of K E-K Klub Easter dance. Is that all? And we hear that SPANKY'S cousin MAC still carries the banner for DOTTIE CLEMENT! BILL BILLINGS keeps in form for baseball-walking down to Proctor Boulevard! We didn't think that any of you knew that JOSEPHINE LOPICCOLO plays in the New Utica Orchestra. Good work, Jo. MARION JEAN BRASTED, the lass with the come hither eyes, is still using them effectively on EDDIE FULLEM. And the only light in the life of BLURPY DANIELS is still our own ALICE NEFF! NANCY STROHECKER grew up fast in the Madden family-Senior prestige fetched her, we think! LEM must have had trouble with his five dates for Sen- ior Ball. No wonder he wanted two moons. MARGARET RAMAGE has found another Dawling - WALTER HAGGAS is the name. It took that angel-faced freshman, LAURA BONNE- FOND, to snare DERRICK BROWN, a woman hater of long standing. Everyone agrees that DORRIE MACDONALD and BILL ROBINSON are our most attractive couple, but what will Bill do next year with Dorrie at Wellesley? Mystery Case No. 1: How does VIRGINIA EATON get to school when JACK LORRAINE doesn't come? Mystery Case No. 2: Who escorts HELEN MULLEN home from Players? Mystery Case No. 3: How can GEORGE, BETSY, and BURRELL all occupy the same seat in Study Hall? Mrs. Fitzgerald doesn't think it can be done. CPS- The Deke pin was there, too! !D And there was an exchange of pins 'twixt OSCAR MAR- TIN and NANCY EVANS, so we concluded that there must be a mutual understanding-discounting other evidences. I51I Senior boys seem to go strong for Sophomore girls. Just look at SPOT and MARILYN! Pretty soon BILL RIELLY will be again seen as a pedes- trian. CBOB will be coming home for summer vaca- tionb. Two of our brainiest seniors put their brains together and went to the K E-K Klub Easter dance. They were none other than BEE NORTON and FORDYCE LUX. News Flash!! We just heard that MARION COTINS used to play the cello, but gave it up because she couldn't contend with the thing! DAVID HIGGENS has had his eye on SKIPPY, but where does TED come in? Let's make mention of BOB MACFARLAND and his love for his candid camera! JACK ROBERTS has been accepted at Hobart College. More power to you, John! CULLY, COHEN, HERRING, and MADDEN were so elated at having their pictures taken in full football regalia that they forgot to turn up for Physics class! We see that NAN SIMONS, our gal with the golden voice, is progressing rapidly in her musical career. Hear you at the Metropolitan Op, NAN. AL TIMEON really doesn't-really he doesn't-appre- ciate his many feminine admirers. It's a wonder he hasn't heard the wistful sighs issuing from the Bridge Club. We've all been missing PEDGIE BAGG, who has been developing his intellectual side at U.F.A. Cno offense, N.H,D, but we are expecting to see him at graduation. We expect to see STEPHEN GIFFORD, too! Underclassmen, please take note of the fact that a senior -our own talented BETSY BEACH-won the Better Speech Poster Contest! And HELEN MULLEN, the retiring president of the Masque, gave the best speech, with BEN SHER- WOOD a close second! TOMMY DOYLE is so quiet we couldn't find out much about him, but we thought we'd mention him anyway because we like him so much! We're looking forward to viewing with pride the name of ED JERGUENSON under cartoons in all our best papers. We know you won't disappoint us, Ed. Isn't it convenient that JANE KELLY and DOUG HAS- ENAUER are co-business managers on the Senior An- nual Staff? It is hoped that they conduct their private affairs as well!