New Hartford High School - Senior Annual Yearbook (New Hartford, NY)

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Some of the Things We Seniors have Never Learned in our Four Years of High School How long is a short circuit? Why is it that night falls and never breaks, while day breaks and never falls? Who won the Industrial Revolution? Why they close the banks on Washingt0n's Birthday if he was such an honest man? Which way Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs went? What animals did Bacon and Lamb come from? VUho bottled Eli Whitney's cotton gin? How many feet in Scotland Yard? Why a railroad train always leaves its tracks behind? What people did before the Law of Gravity was passed? Where's Elmer? How does a person sharpen his shoulder blades? Is a three-bodied legislature a freak? What does a Katy-did do? Who was Spinning Jenny? Was Boss Tweed a tailor? Who wore the Whiskey Ring? Why is it that blackberries are red when they are green? Where is Tobacco Road? Where does time march? How fast can you get nowhere? Why does a butter-fly? What does a cir-cuit? What is a sul-phur? How much is the toll on the Wheatstone Bridge? 29 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Who was Hobo-ken? How long is a to-day? What does a shoe-string? What does a neck-tie? How we got to be seniors? What will happen to the old school when we're gone? Will the frosh get much smaller? What does the Tattler', tattle on? Where is that promised elevator to the third floor? What happened to the room decorating fad started by Prof. Bancroft? Why study since the more you know, the more you forget and therefore the less you know? What will happen to all the maps now that Austria has disappeared? What's the use? Why dates are always hungry when all you have is seven cents? Where has jack Benny? Why other people don't understand us? Why we couldn't have had a four-hour day? Why we can't Whistle While We Work in class? What happened? Why everybody else knows our locker combina- tion ? Which room is the worst sweatshop in school? QThey're all badj. Why is grass green? Why is snow white? What happened to all the snow we shoveled? How come?

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The Music Box You Can't Marry Ten Pretty Girish-Bill jamie- iv SOO. You're a Sweetheart -Marion Cotins. Loch Lomond gPat Hannigan. Lonesome Cowboy - Rube Driscoll. Every Now and Then -A ND on report card. Whistle While You Work -jim Herring. Always and Always -Dorie and Bill. I Can Dream, Car1't I? -Bill Fix. Please Be Kind -Reger1t's Board. 11 if if .- H u u in Love's Young Dream -Sloan and Stopper. Thanks for the Memoriesn-N.H. Working My Way Thru, College -CD. Something About a Soldier -Louis Bogdan. You Couldn't Be Sweeter -Bernadette Trosset. l'Truckin' Brasted. Midnight in a Madhouseu-Night before the Sen- ior Annual comes out. ii if ii u With a Song in My Heart -Nan Simon. Love Walked Right In -Burrell and Betsy. I'm Wishing -Carolyn Manning. B O N E R S CCompiled from Class Rooms and Examination PapersD u if An antidote is a funny story that you have heard before. An appendix is a portion of a book, which nobody yet has discovered of any use. A blizzard is the inside of a fowl. A butress is a woman who makes butter. To germinate is to become a naturalized German. A grass widow is the wife of a vegetarian. A mayor is a he horse. The letters M.D. signify mentally deficient. A momentum is what you give a person when they are going away. Mussolini is a sort of material used for ladies' stockings. An oboe is an American tramp.-English. Paraiiin is the next order of angels above seraphims. Period costumes are dresses all covered with dots. A polygon is a man who has many wives. A polygon is a dead parrot. f28 S.O.S. is a musical term meaning same only softer. Homer wrote the Oddity. Pope wrote principally in heroic cutlets. Keats is a poet who wrote on a greasy urn. Poetry is when every line begins with a capital letter. Mandolines are high officials in China. Syncopation is emphasis on a note that is not in the piece. Nearly at the bottom of Lake Michigan is Chicago. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes. A mountain range is a cooking stove used at high altitudes. The only signs of life in the Tundras are a few stunted corpses. A circle is a round line with no kinks in it, joined up so as not to show where it began. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. The Augustan era was a mistake of Augustus.

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HUMCR Uncle Ezra says: UA ruse is a blind, a blind is a shadeg a shade is a color, a color is paint, and paint is rouge. Therefore, by cracky, rouge must be a ruse. How many of you fellows agree? There is no question that the automobile now has completely displaced the horse. We found a piece of fan belt in our hamburger the other day at lunch. Ed Kell y says that the flavor of an onion may be greatly improved by the addition of a pound of hamburg. We hear that Rhode Island is to erect a monu- ment to the chicken for which it is famous. We wonder if the statue will stand in the middle of the road. We also hear that Spot', DeI.ia has already had his car overhauled three times-and all three times by the same motor cop. Officer-uHi there, sister, can't you see that's a one-way street?', Ruth Steele- Well, I'm only going one way, ain't I? Did you know that eye trouble is not nearly so often due to defective glasses as it is to the stuff we put in them? Bill Fix wants to know why it is that depressions always have to occur during bad times. Hm. Don't worry, all you debtors. The little birds out on the lawn in the early morning chirp happily even though their bills, too, are all over dew. 30 And even though he is invariably on his last legs, the kangaroo is supremely happy. A word to the wise: Always drive at the speed to which you now slow down when you see a motor cop. Bill Rielly- Prof., I don't think that I should get zero on this examf, Prof. Bancroft- Neither do I, but that's the lowest mark there is.', Miss Daly- What did you find out about the salivary glands?', Nan Simon- I couldn't find a thing. They were too darn secretive. Betty Townsend - What makes you so wor- ried 7' jane Kellyi I just lost 355,000 in a crap game. Betty- Five thousand V' janef Yeah, and the heck of it is that 52 was in cash. Have you heard about the screen star in Holly- wood who was always eating green crab-apples and then sending for someone to double up for her? Temperance Lecturer- Friends, I have lived here all my life. In this town there are fifty taverns and I am proud to say that I have never been in one of them. Bill McAndrews- And which one's that? Dope-f Are you in business? 2nd Ditto- Yeah, in the sauce business. lst D.f How's business? 2nd D.gi'Worse-dis-year.