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Page 3 text:
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THE SCOPE Faculty l l Foster Nnmias, O. D. Dr. Albert E. Sloane Pmrfinrl Ofrfifx Pnflwlrzgy, IVv1fmlr1,fgy, 411141 Hygivm Dr. H. XVilli.1m Bcncker Pfvyviology Frederick E. Bruckcr, B. S. Pb-yxlrx uu,l Ml1llu'w.1fifx . , ..- -Iolm NV. Graham, Opt. Opfltlnrllzzif' Lrflx Grifnlilzg John C. Reilly, M. A. Pxyvlwology X31 K I
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Page 4 text:
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THE SCOPE Class Prophecy BERNARD SIEGAL Time 7 ,Iune 4, 1944. Place - At home, before a fireside. Hello, Johnny and Mary. What's on your minds this evening. Oh, you Want me to tell 'you a story about the funny men in the 1934 year book of M. S. O. All right, get the book, and come here onto my lap, and I'1l begin. Do you remember, I took a trip to Boston a few months ago? Well, I went to the optometry convention. Of course, a great many of my school mates were there. One of the first I met was Joe Monkarsh. No Johnny, he's not trying to imitate Chaplin. He says the moustache gives him sex appeal. Joe is at present, Q'Chief assumern for one of the big optical houses. His job is to decide what to do, assuming the customers do not pay. They call him assumer because he always sends bills stamped Kindly remit as- sume as possible. Of course, at a convention, the best place to Hnd all your friends is at a hotel bar and that is where I went. Sure enough, there was Mills, Brucker and Rowan exhort- ing Reilly - who was sipping a raspberry soda - to forsake the evils of drink. McCabe was behind the bar preparing strawberry sundaes. Inasmuch as it was too early for any excitement, I decided to walk around town. At the first turn to the right I saw a large neon sign, proclaiming, Lichtenstein and Gribbin, optometrists extraordinary.U. I decided to say hello, and dropped in. They were not busy, so we talked. Suddenly Oscar said, No, prove it, that's not so, prove it, wrongf' XVith that he rushed out. I looked at Gribbin and asked him if Oscar was sick. He said, No, Oscar is taking a course at Harvard and is practicing for class. I left and headed for the convention again. Arriving, I found in front of the C. and C. exhibit, Collins and Clements, owners of the C. and C. optical company. This company is now famous because Collins invented that long looked for machine, where you turn a few handles and the Rf' comes out. Clements is business manager and treas- urer. He takes care of the money, because the sight of greenbacks, makes Collins talk with a brcgue, and this is bad business since Muddy Kaplow is his biggest customer. Cc-llins informed me Joe Cohn, has made N. J. eye conscious, and has glasses for every conceivable purpose, from protecting eyes from grapefruit to magnifying key-holes for columnists. I met Kcrnetsky. He told me he has an oiiice on the boardwalk at Revere. Out- side is a large sign saying, Don't let those ultraeviolet rays get you. Colored lenses sold inside. On entering the lecture hall, I heard Dr. Chaitin giving a long discourse on his new theory. This is his picture. Don't laugh so much, Johnny. No, Mary, his ears don't lift him off the ground when he runs. As I was saying, he was explaining his new theory of correcting hyperopia with minus lenses, by producing a eramp of the ciliary great enough to take care of the error. l4l
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