New Bedford Institute of Technology - Fabricator Yearbook (New Bedford, MA)

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This was a very rough period-like winter in Alaska. The GREAT WHITE FATHER in Boston allowed that educated Troops might be worthy of a degree. And so it was allowed. The Troops were surrounded by knowl- edge — more than they could handle — and, though they fought desperately, some of it infiltrated. Several mutinies had to be put down during this period. The ring- leaders, when apprehended having fish and chips and strawberry pop at the Green Front, were given a courtmartial with Mr. Dupre, Mr. Broadmeadow, and Mr. Feneaux presiding. For punishment they had to write dimethly- butylamine five-hundred times on a p in-head. Selby had a headache that day. Things stayed rugged at the front but the rear echelon had it a little better. There was Duffle Board at Shuffy ' s and afternoons of computing the Coefficient of Sliding Friction at the Ambassador. There were trips over the hill to Fenway Park to see Yawkey ' s Poor Little Orphans. Place and Sumner captured the indoor sports crown at a local billiard emporium, Price captured Sumner, and Louie captured them both. Place spoke a whole para- graph the day The Bev was put in a barrel. The Softball team swept the league and clinched the championship in a dazzling double-header at the Barn-Yard Bowl with Ed Mello making circus stops over by the pig-pens, Gagnon hitting a timely four-bagger, and Tynan hitting .000. About this time a certain Baron Von Brainard escaped from Nurem- berg and stole into N. B. T. I. to commit a new run of atrocities. Gad — what indescribeable horror! After rousing the Troops to revolt, he fled unpunished to some foreign country called Ohio. Three blushing bride-grooms were called from our midst to make that terrible plunge into marital bliss. Guay led the field, though he must have taken a long time to propose. Bob Mercer followed and bloomed as only a June bride-groom is able. The entire affair, from pennies to polkas, was absolutely the greatest. Schofield married early in August and much per- spiration was shed, although the temperature was not excessively high. In spite of the stiff action, casualties were light and the wearied vet- erans struggled on. Ricard heard that there was a revolution in education. Baumann agreed and told Ricard he ' d better hit the dirt before he got tagged by a stray shot. Albin was still having trouble with Irene, Simonne was still having trouble with the boys, and Price was still having trouble. Augustine was trying to break Tynan ' s record for tardiness and Sirois was trying to break everyone ' s arm. And so, dear reader, ended the third year of the campaign with an ultimatum delivered by that scholarly gentleman, Augustus Silva, echoing across the battle-field, I can make it embarrassing for you, Mr. Baumann. Fresh supplies of water-rats were brought up, ammunition issued, and the Troops prepared to weather the final fanatical counter-attack. Mutiny once again became apparent and was quelled only when Mr. Feneaux lashed into the Troops. Civil war broke out between the Engineers and the Chem- ists. General Douglas MacArthur Selby and his Sorrowful Six in the Leper Colony were badly mauled before The Broad intervened. There was little actual lab work as Mr. Tripp felt that it took too long to complete an analysis. A few more joined the local chapter of A. A. Sumner and Price broke out and Louie had to recapture them. Place remained his taciturn self and skipped around with a camera clutched in his hooks. Baumann worked on several theses and Ricard didn ' t work. Mercer was in the throes of fatherhood, Guay was a daddy, and Schofield was very busy trying for tax exemptions. Gunboat Groves became better than Joe Stalin at employing slave labor 28 NEW BEDFORD TEXTILE INSTITUTE

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Class Mis tort One dreamy soft September day a large army truck slid to a halt in front of N. B. T. I. A burly Dixiecrat sergeant swung down from the cab, ambled around and flopped open the tail-gate. Awrite, all you danged Dogfaces, he growled in his best Jeb Stuart manner, dismount! And there, dear reader, amid a mingled chorus of groans, faculty mem- bers, and one-hour-parking signs; there under the warm September sun, there in the gentle September breeze, was born the Class of 1951. It was not a very impressive group that stood there blinking in the sunlight, gaping at the big buildings, and dodging determined pigeons. No, it was not a very impressive group at all. In fact, it was downright sad. But, as the woman who had twin gargoyles said, They ' re mine and I love them. Well, dear reader, the Class of 1951 is ours and we love it? A little fellow in the group stumbled up to a companion, clawed some turkey feathers out of his face and said, Cot a smoke? Right then and there a pattern for the next four years was formed. After milling around for a while like confused cattle, The Troops formed fours and marched raggedly off to indoctrination. There was Ricard having trouble with his first pair of shoes, Tynan having trouble with Ricard, Simonne having trouble with all the boys, and Price just having trouble. There was all this and much, much more. The first year, the year of basic training, was a costly one. Casualties were high and many of the Troops were lost in stiff skirmishes with in- structors, experiments, and bad companions. The survivors could scarcely pause to honor them and plunged on to new and greater onslaughts, with increasing perils along the way. During the second year the debutantes in the group began to emerge from lab lockers, old lunches, and Duffy ' s Tavern. There was the weapons squad of Mello, Pittman, W£!sh, Fogarty, and Cagnon, experts, all, with the deadly water-rats and equalled by none in infiltration and defilading fire. There was Moose Baumann and Rapid Robert Mercer; Murphy Rosen, The Stoughton Stalwart; Al Marquis, alias Shakespeare; Andy Mig- nerey, the Instigator; and Analytical Annibal the Fastidious Ferreira. There were those infected with Athlete ' s Foot like Gil Schofield, Cabby, Lar- ruping Leo Kubel, John Cajda, Ralph Tompkins, Tom Lemieux, Freddy Burke, Lefty and Co. ; all good red-blooded American boys. There was even a brok- en-down pitcher from the minors, old Scatter-Arm Sirois, farmed out to spend his waning days seducing all the New Bedford maidens. There was Ricard still having trouble with his shoes and Tynan still having trouble with Ricard; Mr. Barylski having trouble with the troops; Albin having trouble with Irene; The Bev having trouble with Simonne; Simonne having trouble with the boys — it was no convent school — and Price still having trouble. The action was brisk, casualties still ran high; new threats such as Silva, Saltus, and Sullivan reared their frightened heads, and it became neces- sary to send in replacements. Two higher Anthrapoids, gently ejected from Brown, were added to the muster. Gunboat Groves and Big Moe Hahn took over vacant Bunsen Burners. With the stirring words of Dean Walker ' s Blood, Sweat, and Tears speech ringing in their ears, the Troops dug in and settled down to sweat out the third year of the campaign. THE FABRICATOR, 1951 27

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and Big Moe Hahn presided at all the squabbles over who ' s where in the Rogue ' s Gallery. Mercer became a successful politician and assumed com- mand. Many happy enterprises were planned and executed like spies. Our paternal Uncle Samuel began investigating some of his many nephews and perspiration flowed freely from many brows. The Gravy Train pulled out and left some behind. Mr. Silva appeared with a new cigarette holder and Mr. Sullivan appeared with a new portable desk, elbow rest, and fewer splinters. Bronze stars were awarded several-time winners of the Royal Order of the Purple Shaft. Mr. Bayreuther, Wink Walker, Red Walne, and the Doys in the shop presented a plaque to Pallatroni for safe driving. Boucher acquired his coveted tricycle and guess who acquired a dazzling yellow sweater. . Sirois was still breaking hearts and Tynan was still extoll- ing the virtues of the Irish, God bless ' em. Cabby got himself betrothed to a lovely young contralto from Les Follies Bergere and they were wed on St. Patrick ' s Day, although that smacked of heresy to some. The boys were now having trouble with Simonne, the freshmen were having trouble with Fiocchi, and Price was still having trouble. A startling influx of co-eds pepped up the Troops and brightened up the labor camps. The hood still squawked like a dying goose when it was turned on and H2S came in convenient easy-to-dis pose-of-without-touching capsules. The GREAT WHITE FATHER in Boston approved of expansion and great plans were made. Augustine was still trying to break records and the instructors were trying to break students. Albin got a new pair of binoculars but was still having trouble with Irene. Dupre was mellowing a bit and dye-cards that were perfect were now worth a C-. The Pink-Slip system of currency was more rigidly enforced and Cabby ' s take-home pay dropped phenomenally. Prodigal equipment returned but beakers were a scarce commodity. The Bev and Shakespeare spent a great deal of time with heads together plotting curves, Tynan spent a great deal of time plotting seductions and Groves spent a great deal of time plotting anarchy. Fogarty and Walsh were courtmartial- ed for insubordination and exiled to new lockers. The Chaetomium Glo- bossum thrived on agar-agar, an insipid moustachio thrived on Joe Mellion ' s upper lip, and Mercer thrived on vitamin pills. Norm Mee, Charles Lee, Clayt Sisson, and the other swabs in compartment six were all afflicted with drafting-board droop and The Broad was afflicted with his thirty-eighth birthday. A new game, pitching dimes, was readily adopted, and there were those who thought most highly of this form of culture. The Troops finally got to see the inside of the library but had to pass a stringent entrance exam and submit to a rigid search before leaving. Kryger was very disappointed as he had already completed his research. It was rough, that ' s for dang sure! The Troops fought it all the way west, but it was a losing fight. The enemy was, to quote Mr. Silva, fascet- iously insidious ; and thus were they educated, unwillingly and grudgingly, perhaps, but they were educated. The Intellect conquered the Animal- Knowledge and Wisdom the Beast. The Four Years ' War was over. Any day now a big old army truck will slide to a stop in front of N. B. T. I. and a burly sergeant will swing down from the cab. There in the bright June sunlight will stand a small group of bent and broken beings. They will not be gazing at the big buildings. They are much too sophisticated for that. But they will still be dodging determined pigeons. Awrite, you danged Dogfaces, the sergeant will growl in his best Jeb Stuart manner, mount up! Or he may sound like Phil Sheridan. He might even be a Republican. THE FABRICATOR, 1951 29