New Athens High School - Vespa Yearbook (New Athens, IL)

Page 33 text:

Class Prophecy had iust finished some important work in Washington D. C. Although Captain Schnmbach’s work is kept in strictest confidence, we have reasons to believe that he has devised some sort of plan to prevent soldiers and sailors from loading their dice. Both Captain Schmulbach and Colonel Schmelzel were guests of honor at a dinner given by the President. Warren Waeltz also flew in from Washington where he is engaged in important agricultural work. It is obvious that he is next in line for the position of Secretary of Agriculture. One of the more quiet members of the class arrives next. This, of course, is the now famous Wall Street Banker, Edward J. Hammond. E. J., who has a family of his own. has achieved great success as a banker. Eddy boasts, as he puffs a fifty-cent cigar, that he has finally gotten up enough nerve to say, “Go on home, year mutters callin’ ” to his wife. Present also at this exclusive gathering is Mr. Earl “Bring ’em to me cold’’ Evans. Mr. Evans is America’s most renowned undertaker. Earl is spending the evening passing from person to person, forcing upon them specially prepared after dinner mints. V hen asked why he is acting thusly, Earl’s only comment is “Business is business”. Also roaming about on the loose is the former Cordelia Schneider. Dinx, as she :s called by her classmates, is causing quite a sensation with her new hair-do. Cordelia has a chain of Beauty Salons from New York to Los Angeles, and has recently devised a hair style guaranteed to subtract any man. She has also concocted a beauty cream which, if used consistently, will eliminate masks on Halloween. Present also at this gathering is Vernon “Muscles” Hepp. Mr. Hepp, who is the world's medium weight champion, has challenged such personalities as Joe Louis and of course he has always come victorious. Incidently the bandage on “Muscles” eye comes from his latest bout at Madison Square Garden when his manager forgot to yell “Duck”. What’s that I hear? Sounds like singing. Why of course, how could I forget. It’s their own Shirley Ruhl now a great Metropolitan Opera star. Shirley, who so generously lent her voice to the chorus in high school, has completed plans for a concert at Carnegie Hall. Among the songs Miss Ruhl will sing are “The Finished Symphony”, “The Found Chord”, and “Shut the Dorr, Richard”. There seems to be someone missing—I wonder who it could be. Oh yes, “Dot”, better known to the book world as Dorothy Utz. Miss Utz, who was voted the most talkative member of the class, has achieved world-wide fame by her unusual novels, the latest of which is entitled, “That Did It’-. And now my crystal ball will reveal no more, so I, Madame Future, must conclude.