New Albany High School - Vista Senior Blotter Yearbook (New Albany, IN)

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HOOSIEPUS THAVELOGUE To foreign shores and foreign ways, A Hoos'er took his pop-eyed gaze: For travel broadens-so 'tis said- The feet, perhaps, if not the head. At midnight, promptly by the clock, The liner left the New York dock, And twelve miles sea-ward from the pier, All bars let loose a 'flood of cheer. Alert, our Hoosier stood in line To reach the bar and try the wine. Throrgh space and fog, he sailed away, As well as through six meals a day, Till England's shores extend a hand, tShip stewards, tool and then dry land. Past London's shrines he had a ride- Was taken past, but not inside. The longest stops were made by far, In Dirty Dick's and Bogey' Bar . The North Sea crossed-a Holland breeze Bore hint cf fish, canals and cheese, And small Dutch maids in beach pajamas Stared at him, then called their mamas. Somewhat abashed, he sought the station, Entrained third class, and left the nation. Adown the Rhine, our gallant trekker, Nose sunk deep in his Baedeker, Identilied the Mouse Tower stones, Where varmints chewed the Bishop's bones. In Poland-chapel, hall, and vault Were fashioned deep in mines of salt. At Nuremburg, the torture hall Held rack and viseg applied to all Reluctant to confess a sin, They'd crunch a bone, or rip the skin. If victims finally did escape, They never quite got back their shape. In Prague, he saw chess-men delux- Cost Wallenstein a million bucks. Vienna's pride is Hapsburg dead, Two hundred of 'em sealed in lead. Our Hoosier felt his Hospice cot Was one of that same leaden lot. All through the Alps to Lake Lucerne, The scenery made bridge fiends adjourn. But Swiss watch-shops brought sad reverses- They quickly emptied slender purses. For cuckooclocks, desire awoke And left our Hoosier almost broke. He sailed the Luke past Bill Tell's chapel, Where legend says Bill shot the apple. But praise for Bill is much too brisk- llis son it was, who took the risk. Geneva offered three days Wait To see the Peace Court operate. Distinguished Attaches explained, And all the while it rained and rained. Then off for Paris-spirits low- Four dollars left-two weeks to go. Might cable home, but understood It wouldn't do a bit of good. So sold his foreign coin collection, Relieving his profound dejection. To Paris comes the World to lark, And does so-mostly after dark. No censor dulls or tries to ban Thrills for the Eggs and Butter Man. All farewells are, I love you, Honey: I'll be back when I get more money. Third class to Cherbourg-very weary- Long wait in Cherbourg--wet and dreary. Aboard the liner, glad because He'd craved a storm, and here it was. For two wild days, his face was pasty, And journeys to the rail were hasty. Meals and ship behaved the same- First, down they went, then up they came. His toast and broth-when hunger beckened He got 'em first-the fishes second- Surrendered all to sea and wind While sailors swabbed the deck, and grinned. Once more ashore, the Hoosier bum Was back, right where he'd started from. -John Shincr. 05'