Nelsonville High School - Saga Yearbook (Nelsonville, OH)

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with her. He caused much merriment when he came forward in a Missouri town to apologize for Nillson’s indisposition. Madame Nillson ees a leetle horse, he said Not.cing a riipple of laughter he repeated the state- ment that Nillson was “a leetle horse,” “a leetle horse “a leetle colt! Whereupon a facetious occupant of the gallery brought down the house by remarKing: “Well, then, why don't you trot her out?” One morning at breakfast Oscar announced that he had fallen out of bed that night. His sister said: ‘‘You slept too near where you got in.” “Pooh ’ he said, “that wasn’t it, it was because I slept too near where I fell out WITH THE BUSINESS MANAGER. Our business men all seem to think that it pays to advertise. At least it seems that they all do advertise, so we are not going to explicate the ad- vantages of advertising but we are going to explain the advantage of advertising in this paper. We are not engrossed in politics and other such wrrangies and g ' e our attention to d fferent and perhaps bet- ter affairs. We hope that after reading this first issue the business men will feel that they are helping theni- se.ves by a.d.ng us. All of our ads. have been given more in the spirit of donation for this issue. We hope that the next time we come around they will be glad to give us an ad. for the benefit which they derive from the first. Then they will want a whole page instead of a twenty-five cent ad. We realize that our ads in this first paper are not arranged as well as they might be. But remember this is our first attempt and we will sure- ly profit by our mistakes and with experience we hope to be able to give better rates to advertisers for the March issue. This paper has a circulation of about two hundred and fifty for the trial issue. One hundred and seventy copies are already spoken for by High School pupils. We expect to sell the rest to the Alumni and other townspeople. Besides this about twenty-five copies will be sent to other schools as exchanges. Our paper contains only articles written by pu- piis in the school (except the jokes, part of which are selected from other papers and magazines) ShouldrVt this interest the whole family? Don’t you suppose they will read it to see if their child has his name signed to an article? We dont think that it will be carelessly laid aside or thrown into the waste basket because it is about the only means of communication between the school and the parent. This is what it is published for» to show the par- ents and people just what is go ng on in the schools. Don’t you admire our purpose? Don’t you think it will help to stop the quarrels of the past and raise the standard of our schools? Th:s is what we hope to do. It is what wTe are going to do and to do it we ask the assistance of all. If our paper does not suit you drop us a card and tell how we can better it. We will be only too glad to receive sug- bestion but we do not solicit any anonymous communications. If you do not wish your name to appear in the paper with your criticism mark it confidential. Now to return to our subject, if you want us to continue this paper as is done in most of the other First Class High Schools, will you help us by send- ng in an ad? No matter how large or how small, it will be equally apprec’ated. Help us boost you. Address, Business Manager, care Principal, Nelson- ville High School. CURRENT EVENTS. The recent improvements in wireless have been so great that one of the leading newspapers of New York City now receives all its foreign news in this manner. Through the generosity of Andrew Carnegie the Amer can Indians are to have a costly memorial in Washington. Mr. Kelsey, the architect win spend two years in the study of their habits an.l customs before the real construction begins. It is planned to have this memorial contain many Indian relics in order that the traits of th's vanishing race may be preserved. “Smile awhile, and when you smile Another smiles, and soon there are mile and miles of smiles And life's worth while Because you smile.” Tramp—“Lady, could you spare me something to eat? I have lived on water for six months!” I ady—“How was that?” Tramp—‘ I was a sailor.” J. P. Morgan is br'nging his art collection val- ued at 60 millions to this country. It will probably be placed on exhibition. Key West may now be reached by rail, since the railroad has been opened recently. It was very difficult to build, as well as expensive, and much of the way is constructed of concrete arches. It is planned to make Key West a shipping port to South America and Mexico. The “Anitra’ Orchestra played to a large and appreciative audience in H. S. Auditorium in Mon- day evening. Their program was well-chosen and consisted of musical numbers and readings. One number espec ally beautiful was the “Dreams of Love.” Another was the reading “Tender and True, and You.” The next number on the course will be a lecture by Hon Alden. “Baby I ama’’ is the author of a new propos't.on to prove that happiness is the prime object of ex- istence. He surely is a living example. The doctors have been having very humorous experiences while vaccinating pupils. One little fellow wanted to be “blaeksnaked!’” Reece Trout show's decided ability to entertain an audience by distorting his features to a most unusual extent Perhaps Reece will be the star performer of the Indoor Circus which is coming soon.

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the orchestra (except one) had finally arrived at the house. The missing member came rather late and in the confusion it was discovered that one of the instruments was missing entirely. The rest were forced to fill their part on the program, how- ever, which they did with their usual success, and responded to several encores. But it is to be hop- ed that the next time they meet the drums will not be missing. George Stuart was calling on friends in Athens Monday evening. Miss Campbell spent Saturday and Sunday In Columbus the guest of relatives. Saturday evening. February 10, five couples from N. H S. spent the evening with Ethel Carter. It was a leap year treat. The girls treated the boys to an oyster stew and the boys, like the heroes that they are, fought mightily with those oysters. Tuesday Baby Lama opened him home and the N. H. S. students rushed in and devoured an elegant bean supper prepared by Mr. Lama and his mascu- line friends. The girls owned up to it that there were good cooks in the High School besides them- selves. Floyd Hutch'ns, Mr. Lama and Leland Kreig also had a bean supper. The merchants are doing a fine bean business since the students developed the appetite. Gene Harrold and Windle Kelly are learning to be graceful. They are taking dancing lessons. A PAGE OF GRINS. Octa—(As they encountered a vicious bull dog) “Go on Bernard, you knowr you said you would face death for me!” Bernard—“But he isn’t dead.” Julius Caesar wrote a book. After that, his life wras took And this world his soul forsook But this book remains today And’s being murdered in every way. Poetic license. We understand that L. Aumiller was seriously injured last week by being thrown from a horse, causinb a fracture in the Latinus Translationi- phram. Question not, oh gentle reader Why we have no jokes on you, Each one here has writ his own joke, Go thou, then and likewise do. A professor wanting to tell his pupils to stop the use of slang, gave a lecture ending this way: T tell you pupils CUT IT OUT!” Freshmen—Emerald. Sophomore—Blarney Stone. Juniors—Grindstone. Seniors—Tombstone. You can ride a horse to water But you can’t make him drink; You can ride your little pony, But yon cannot make him think. Wanted—Some one to take Kate Umphrey, Lucy Moore, Vivian Clark and Lillian Teny’s places at eating cakes. If Clermont Howell was in a hurry would Lillian TERRY? If Claire Fisher needed a hair cut would Flossie BARBER? If Oscar Jenkins cut his finger w’ould Clermont HOWELL? If Frances Bennett wanted a sweetheart would Edward LOVE? If many wore Della’s hat what would DELA- WARE? If Hazle Hartman wanted to fight a duel wrould Clarence PERRY? When the trees begin to bare their limbs no w’onder the corn gets shocked! If Blondes wre;gh less than Brunettes is it be- cause they are lighter? A little Freshman boy wfas asked by his fond parent if he was first in anything at school. ‘ Why yes ’ he replied, “I am first out of the door w'hen the bell rings!” Husband—“I am ruined, and my son’s musical career cannot continue. Go to the barber, my son, and have your hair cut.” 'Are you Hungary?” ‘‘Yes, Siam.” “Well Russia along and I’ll Fiji!” “Why did you quarrel with the school teacher?’ ‘‘Oh, if I didn’t appear right on the minute she would ask for a written excuse signed by my mother.” Mary’8 grandmother had no teeth and one day as Mary sat looking at her she said, “Oh.,mamma, grandma’s teeth ain’t through the shell yet, are they?” Mrs. Binks—“What are all those men running for?” Mrs Jinks—“The school house is on fire.” Mrs. Blinks— Oh, you don’t say so! I wonder if the children got out. Why dont the use the fire escapes?” Mrs. Jinks—“I guess the children came out that way.” Mrs. Binks—‘‘Yes, but they don’t put the fire out with them? Don’t the fools know how to use them?” When Christine Nillson made her concert tour in the United States in 1884 Signor Bugnoli sang

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THE CLASS OF 1914 There is one class in this high school That always minds the Golden Rule, No matter whatever people say, The Sophomore class is just O. K. We're all as good as we can be And get along so peacefully , Whatever work is to be done, It is finished ere the set of sun, The Freshies always are behind, The Juniors a bit fast, you’ll find; The Seniors, Oh, my goodness me, They are too far advanced to see The time they really ought to use But to do this they simply refuse. Of course we, the class of nineteen—14, Get our lessons as they are given, We never want to shirk our task Until we have to flunk at last. Like Mr. Johnny On-the-Spot, We are always right on the dot, Oh may our minds develop still. As we work on with might and will. And as we plod our weary way May we have the right to say; We did our work the best we could, As all good people always should. DOUGLAS FISHER, 14. (So they think.) His grade-card now he has received, Instead of being much relieved, His patience now is sorely grieved—- That’s aggravation. Next year he s back in the same class. He’s just determined he shall pass; His aims are realized at last— That s gratification. HELEN GOODSPEED. '12. FAREWELL. Farewell to the class of 1912, We take our leave at last To go out into the world To dream of the happy past. As we look back to our school days, Our hearts grow, Oh, so weary; The days which once were so short Are now so long and dreary; But cheer up and be merry, Why should our hearts be sore? For we all hope to meet some day Where we shall part no more. BERNARD CARLTON LAMA, '12 THE PSALM OF BUSINESS. Tell us not in mournful numbers Advertising does not pa£. For the man's non compos mentis Who would such absurd things say. Life is real! Life is earnest! And the man who hopes to rise. To eminence in any calling Must expect to advertise. In the world’s broad field of battle. In the conflict of real life; Advertising is the magnate Of achievement in the strife. Lives of rich men all remind us, We can make our lives sublime; And by liberal advertising To the highest summits climb. Let us then be up and do’ng. Business then will be alert; Still achieving, still pursuing, In the N. H. S. sheet your ads insert. C. A. D., ’14. INSPIRED LIVES. It truly is a pleasant sight To see a student in his might, Seize a pen. begin to write— That’s expectation. He looks the questions o’er in va:n, No answer comes from his troubled brain. He begins to wonder if he’s sane— That’s realization.