N R Crozier Technical High School - Wolf Pack Yearbook (Dallas, TX)

Page 33 text:

ASK PROFESSOR FLANNAGIN - Continued Dear Aska Flann: Why doesn't Mrs. Lemmerhirt let girls take up slips and get an extra credit? A. Needer. You're losing your mind: What a school this would be if you took up all the slips! Dear Little Kno-All: Why are young men vain? Mary Frances Greenfield. Dear Frances: They are vain 'cause they get a pain when a dame swains over them. Dear Lankey: What do we learn in four years at high school? Isabel Vance. Dear Inquirer: We learn that we didn't learn what we should have learned. Dear Flannagin: Why are girls gold-diggers? A Silver Pocket. Dear Cheap Skate: Don't you know we're on the gold standard now? Dear Know All: Don't you think mermaids are in the sea? James Reichert. Listen, Jimmie: There are women at the bottom of every- thing. Dear Dark Horse: Have you ever seen a coin with two heads on it? Harold Heyman. Dear Honey Boy: I did once, and have stuck to orange juice since. Dear Conceited Sap: What can you tell a girl who accuses you of staring at other girls? Henry Parma. Didn't Like Your Greeting: A glaring example. SIMILES As hard-boiled as a bill collector on the 10th. As cross-eyed as a policeman giving a fair damsel an over- parking ticket. As dumb as a chicken with its head cut off. As muscle-bound as a prizefighter on exhibition at a wom- an's bridge party. As tight as a Scotchman buying pins. As cold as a dog's nose sniffing a hot porterhouse steak. Today's best tabloid biography: high chair, high school, high stool, high Iinance, high hat, hi, warden. i311

Page 32 text:

ASK PROFESSOR FLANNAGIN Dear Flannagin: Why is Chester McCown such a ladies' man? Would Like to Know. My dear Likesnow: Sh-u-ul Don't tell a soul. He uses cosmetics Dear Logmire: Will you please tell me the way to make work easier? Getting Weaker. Dear Heavyweight: Don't worry yourself so much: let the other fellow do the work for a while. Dear Flookle: I consider my wisecracks to be children of my brain. James Chenoweth. Dear Little Jimmie: Perhaps they are-by adoption. Flannie Ole Boy: Please tell me why fish do not have feet. Lillian Hart. Dear Cutie: 'Cause corns won't grow under the water. Dear Mr. Mathiiannagin: I am worried about triangles. I have seen a right one, but where is the left? Sydnie Smith. Dear Russian : Try bisecting the right one. Dear Flannel: What kind of hair tonic does Mr. Schiebel use? Very Worried. Dear Very Worried: For the very few hairs upon his head ' I'll now declare to you, Are due in their entirety To the use of Flit's Sham Pooh. Tell me Professor: J. B. Daniels thinks I am a nice girl and wants to see me tonight. What shall I do? Jewel Hoffman. My dearest Jewel: Don't let him come. Let him keep on thinking. Dear Old Pal: What is love? Eugene Jacobs. Dear Snorky: Love is a feeling that you feel when you feel you're going to feel a feeling that you never felt before. Dear Mr. Proff : What is the difference between a married man and a bachelor? Alice Ellis. Dearest Alice: Married men have better halves, but single men have better quarters. Tell Me Flannel: My friend Harold Goodman thinks I am a wit. Elinor Falder. Dearest Little Elinor: Well, Goodman is only half right. E301

Page 34 text:

MOTHER MACHREE - 1936 Sure, I love your new permanent wave and bobbed hair And the brows still left standing and penciled with careg I miss the dear face that was lifted for me. Oh, who'd guess that in shorts, dear, you're Mother Machree? Old and haggard, pale and worn, Wrinkled, shriveled, tattered and torn, Bedraggled and creased like an ancient mummer, Your white linen suit at the end of summer. To live within my income used to be A worry on my browg But since it has become simplicity To live without it now. WHAT IF- Virginia were Fivey instead of Tenney? Kenneth were Story instead of Ballard? Pearl were Rivers instead of Brooks? Milton were Hate instead of Love? Earl were Grin instead of Barrett? Lorraine were Lives instead of Dies? Charles were Large instead of Small? Ella Fae were Gong instead of Bell? Jack were Hoover instead of Broom? Maxine were Skin instead of Hyde? Mike were Maple instead of Burch? Louise were Find instead of Hunt? Ralph were Hammer instead of Sledge? R. O. were Old instead of Young? Rae were Mutton instead of Veal? James were Chevrolet instead of Ford? , Margaret were Potatoes instead of Rice? Leonard were Mountain instead of Hill? Jessie Ruth were Rabbit instead of Hare? Mary Louise were Moonleigh instead of Starleigh? A. D. were White instead of Brown? Esther were Pie instead of Cobler? Alice were My Rope instead of McCord? Elmer were Borrow instead of Lynn? George were Raises instead of Settles? Blanche were Stork instead of Crain? This were to go on for ever? E321