Murdock High School - Tower Yearbook (Winchendon, MA)

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MURDOCK HIGH SCHOGL, WINCHENDON, MASS ' 1.1 ff' L L. 27

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JUNIOR PROM Z , x W V NINETEEN FIFTY FOUR H

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CLASS OF NINETEEN FIFTY-FOUR Orafion fo flee yuniord History is being made today. We, the Class of 1954, will disclose to the oncoming seniors the carefully guarded secret of our financial success. You should fully appreciate this honor, for we are stormed daily with requests for this information. The Chase National Bank, -I. P. Morgan and Co. and Henry Ford II wanted to engage us to handle their vast interests. Even President Eisenhower has heard of our success. Last week we received a telegram from him asking us to lend him a few thousand dollars to balance the budget. Our fame has spread not only through the United States, but to foreign countries as well. Prime Minister Churchill is trying to negotiate a small loan for the mighty British Empire, but we have decided to decline all offers. At no cost to you, the underclassmen, we present to you a detailed plan on how to raise money for your class. One of the chief ways to make the largest amount in the least time is to sell record dance tickets to the junior High Schoolers. This must be done by a scientific method. It is a well-known fact that boys like girls, and vice versa. Some of you may not have heard this fact, but after four years of observation in Murdock, I assure you it is true. Keeping this in mind, we send our most beautiful girls and gorgeous hunks of manhood to spell- bind the innocent seventh- and eighth-graders. After the senior girls have spent a short while flut- tering their eyelashes, and murmuring, Oh, you doll, you, the boys are more than glad to part with two bits. Meanwhile our senior men of the world are being surrounded with Streeter girls. Now is the time for action. These seniors manfully roll up their sleeves and proceed to contract and expand their biceps. This is most naturally met by the ohs and abs of admiration from the girls. Our boys are right on the ball. Knowing this is their cue for the next step, they pull out the tickets, which, needless to say, are promptly all sold. If by any chance, there is a boy who is not over- come by the charms of our girls, the boys take over, This also must have a proper procedure. The victim is put bottom side up and his money falls out. A waiting senior picks up the money, hands him a ticket and his change, and thanks him for his fine co-operation. Another very simple way to earn money is through a food sale. But our class does not both- er our busy mothers to bake foodg the Household Arts girls make it. For three weeks preceding the sale, they bake cakes, pies, cookies, and other such sweets. They may be slightly stale by the time the sale takes place, but the class is insured against broken bridgework. You will be surprised to learn that the biggest profit of all is not from the food, but from a by-product of the food sale. A team of senior boys goes from house to house selling alka-seltzer to our customers, making at least a one hundred per cent profit. Here are the results of our last sale: sale of food 533500, alka-seltzer 31,122.40 As everyone knows, once a boy or girl reaches that glorious age of sixteen, it is his earnest de- sire to acquire a driving license. Our class, always on the alert for new ways to make money, did not overlook this possibility. We suggest you set up a driving school with Professor Bobby May as head instructor. For one hour after school he and his assistants will teach the art of driving. Included in this course are lessons on one-arm driving, ways to save gas, how to spot policemen, cheapest places to buy gas, filling your car to capacity and how to get Dad to lend you the car. After ten lessons, the dramatic moment comes. The student must pass the big test, driving Pro- fessor May's Model A. Any one who can do that can easily operate a jet. VVhile the boys are giving driving lessons, the girls are setting up a charm school. Their motto is We make beautiful roses out of wallflowersf' This will prove true because awkward, self-con- scious girls going in will come out poised, charm- ing, and self-assured. Problems overcome by this beauty course are knock-knees, big feet, bow legs, and ding-toes. If your problem is excess weight we have exercises for hips, spare tires, piano legs, and too many chins. In the hair department we have cures for girls with bushwoman blues, cow- licks, bleached hair, and hair overbaked by per- manents. Solution? Shave it off and sell them a wig. just another way to get two profits from one idea. From experience we know that Murdock stu- dents dislike anything involving work. So, noting their unhappy faces as they trudged back and forth between Murdock and Streeter, we decided it would be a good idea to cash in on this handi- cap. Our manual training boys devised a tow between the schools. This will prove to be very popular, a bargain for only l0c, round trip 15c. Soon you will have the entire student body as customers. With students changing classes many times a day, this will add greatly to the appear- ance of your treasury.