Mountain View Union High School - Blue and Gray Yearbook (Mountain View, CA)

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28 BLUE AND GRAY 'tis true, that of all nerve racking grievances, bestowed upon man- kind by those Who are supposedly at the services of the public, are those given by the modern brakeman on the average S. P. railroads. Watch him beat you to helping your best girl up the steps of the day coach while he leaves you to labor with your prospective mother-in-law, and you immediately learn that he is quite deserving of a kick. Watch him haggle with the woman just ahead of you and you learn that he is crabbed. Watch him as he pokes his head thru the car door and swears a few sentences in Chinese, and you learn that he chews plug tobacco, that he has porcelain teeth and is a misanthrope. But you are dumbfounded when you learn that, in that brief moment, he is calling the name of the next station. Little wonder then, that Cornelius Tinker was still riding, his station twenty miles behind. But Bing was utterly at a loss to think up descriptive adjectives which would fit the brakeman, for all his forceful language had already become trite by his incessant use of it in describing the engineer. Why in thunder couldnit he instruct the fireman to add more fuel, or to diminish it-anything to make the monstrous throbs of the engine simul- taneous with those within his head. Bing reasoned that if such a thing could be made to occur he could easily imagine that the throbs were all due to the engine. But hang it! The fool engineer seemed to take delight in making his engine throb at exactly one-half a second after that huge mallet hit his temples. O curse the Derby! He'd be hanged if he'd wear it any longer. He'd throw it away. The brakeman opened the door and called. That settled it. Bing left the train. He was thru with trains and trainmen for all time. He breathed a series of modified condemnations as, with a shrieking, ear-splitting blast, the train took its choo-choo- ing departure-each vibrating f'choo occurring one-half second after the mallet landed. H. Cornelius Tinker hurled the oifending derby far up the tracks into the obscurity of the rapidly approaching night. He looked up at the sign on the station. Well, he'd be jiggered! He was in MOUN- TAIN VIEW. 56 SF Sl' it St A meadow lark, its soul deluged with songs of Spring, was vainly endeavoring to share its joy with the world, almost bursting his throat with his gigantic efforts. The morning sun, its radiance flittered to a soft, eye-comforting glow by the vines at his window, gently soothed Bing's tired, over-wrought being and put new life into his heavy, drooping eyelids. Bing looked at his watch. It had stopped-for the first time in nine years. He remarked that he had not overslept for- O hang it! He didn 't care if he had overslept. He felt fine-he'd take a morning shower-which he had been omitting for-C damn! He resolved not to think of those nine years again. After bathing and breakfasting Bing began to think that spinster aunts, who lived in the country, were not so bad after all, In fact, Aunty May displayed her skill in the art of cookery in the breakfast she had prepared for him. And the flowers in her garden were as pretty as- asjwell, he couldn't say. But anyway, he knew that there wasn't a florist who could have blended the different colors together as prettily

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FOR TH' SAI' WAS RUNNING 27 the same table he begged off for the afternoon, determined to sleep until his brain was clearer. Bing was searching his memory for Casey's advice. Hang it! For some reason his memory wasn't just as it should be-it was-well, he couldn't just say--rusty-no, not that. He felt dull-heavy- headed. Something seemed to press at his head-something that he couldn't exactly understand. A glass of water had no effect. In fact the pressing grew to be irregular, sometimes slight, then suddenly it would grow heavy-seemed to poimd rather than press. I-Ie could hear it. The pounding was regular now-it jarred his whole being. Between beats he winced for the next dull, dreaded thud. The last throb was the hardest yet. Then the awful soul scorch- ing truth dawned upon his distracted brain-IT-the spot! He felt that those terrific throbs were Nature 's warning, but too late. He'd neglected his hair. Now he must pay the penalty. He was seized with a wild desire to run, to enshroud IT with his napkin-anything to conceal the awful truth from Miss Rose. Then Casey 's words came to him-a word for each steady, nerve racking thump-L'If ye'll win a Kitten, be ct Zion. He'd try it. Hcicl be a Lion. But try as he would, the role in which he was to be, fierce, rapacious and to assume an Haspect noble seemed to bear little weight with Miss Rose. Instead of acting as becomes a kitten she was inclined to be a lioness. And all the while Bing was certain that his head would break the next moment. musically, Tinker, if we are to be at work by one o'clock we must e going. - Bing agreed. Little Artie swung around in his chair. Not feeling well, Mr. Tinker? No Sir, I have a headachefl f'Then certainly you may go. Headache, eh? Country air is what you need. Better take your vacation after all. H I-I believe I will, Mr. Arthur. 'Ks S? is S6 156 Did yez say ye was lavinl us, Misther Tinker? Yes, for two weeks. I wuz ov a' tellin' yez ye had it-the Faverf' h Bing felt of his temples. UNO, it's not the fever, it 's merely head- ac e. iigiezxplayed the LION, did yez? - es. i'Th1n a dollar to a pink poker chip I know what's wrongf, 'I don 't believe you do. Shure an' oi. do. The KITTEN SCRATCHED.' For the first time in nine years H. Cornelius Tinker lost his tem- per. HDAMN!! swore he, grabbing his suit cases. Casey skillfully spat on the honeing stone before he spoke. He addressed the bootblack. The dirty piker! He skipped out and didn 't pay me th' pink poker chip. '73 fi? 3? if Q? 'Tis a saying as old as the mother-in-law joke, yet nevertheless

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FOR TH' SAP VVAS RUNNING 29 as his Auntie May had done. Yes-jokesmiths had the wrong idea concerning Spinster Aunts. 1 Bing was vainly endeavoring to make a favorable impression upon the cat. The cat didn 't seem inclined to be impressed. A cat 's friend- ship is not to be envied, anyway, for Bing recalled that cats belonged to a certain specie of carnivorous quadrupeds. Auntie May was picking daisies from the tiny plants which bor- dered the gravel walk leading to the gate. A very pleasant looking girl in a very pleasant, tasty dress, was passing the gate. Her face was more than pleasant-it was exceptionally pretty-no, not pretty, it was more than that. It was-O hanged if he knew. But at any rate she was as attractive as any girl he'd seen. From under a jauntily cocked, unblocked Panama-Bing always had admired unblocked Panamas-wavered the most ungovernable, the waviest and the browsiest curls imaginable. Auntie May was already chatting and laughing with her as if she and the girl were of the same age. Yes- he was certain-Auntie May had the best taste of any spinster he knew. ' 'fAnd do you know, Miss Tinker, the girl was saying, that last evening daddy and I had an adventure. HI-Iow so, my dear? 'tWe were just getting off the train here at Mountain View when we saw a man jump olf just as the train started. I really canit say what he looked like, because it was getting dark, but I'm going to imagine that he was handsome. He was holding his hat in his hands and watching the train as if the only woman he could ever love was leaving him forever. I really think that he was in love, because he was holding his head in his hands as if some awful sorrow was bur- dening his soul. But where did your near-adventure come in, dear? K'Well, when the train had pulled out he turned, and without any apparent reason, he threw his hat away. Hlt must have seemed queer. 'Alt rolled right over to us. Daddy picked it up and called to him but he jumped into a jitney and rode away. And, to add to the mys- tery, there was a lot of dynamite under the sweat band. Oh, I suppose itls the Fever that has hold of me-what if he had been a prince. The girl was laughing. Or anything romantic,' ' she added. 'tHe probably was drunkf' said Auntie May. She turned to the shuddering Bing. O Bing! Stop teasing the cat and come here. I want to present you to Miss Ray. Miss Ray, my nephew, Bing Tinker. The girl, smillngly extended her hand. Er-er delighted-er-Miss Ray, stuttered Bing. '4Bing, accused Auntie May, laughingly, did you throw away your hat last night? I'll just bet it was you, Mr. Tinker, wagered Miss Ray, her eyes a-twinkle, because you haven 't any on now. No, he never wore one-that is, unless the sun was shining. Per- haps he 'd better go in and get it. He hastily excused himself. Great Scott! Meeting Miss Ray with IT, the bald SPOT, uncov- ered was worse than facing LITTLE ARTIE. Horrors! He yd won- dered if she had seen IT. He 'd borrow a hat from Auntie May and