Mountain View Union High School - Blue and Gray Yearbook (Mountain View, CA)

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FOR TH' SAP VVAS RUNNING 25 UC-A-yis, here we are, c-a-t. It sez 'CAT-a name applied to a certain species of carnivorous quadrupeds of the genius Felus.' Do yez get the force o' that, Mister Tinker? It goes further to say-'It is a decatful animal, and when enraged, it is extremely spitefulf Did Bill Flyn scratch yez, Mister Tinker, whin he took his lave? Why-yes, just a bit. 'Tis not a consequence to what a Kitten could do, Mister Tinker. A kitten 's claws are sharper thin the tongue of a telyphone girl. The quistion thin is this-' What is the best way to ask a Cat fer the honor o' bein' its comrade till death do yez impart.' To win th' eternal respect of a cat ye must do what? Pet it? Look what yez got fer pettin' Bill Flyn, Mister Tinker. Yez must be ov the opposite nature to win the heart of th' 'kittenish' darlint. I'll be ov a lookin' at th' pictures and see what's the opposite to a cat. Let 's see-ah- yis-we'd want somethin' noble. Now thin, what is noble, Mister Tinker? Bing thought cows were noble. 'Tis true. But 'tis nobleness in th opposite sex we Want, Mister Tinker. Here it is-a lion-'a typical member of the carnivorous order of mammels, the chafe representative ov the family Felidaef Now, isn 't that a perfect description of a lion, Mister Tinker? It sezs, 'he's very strong, fierce and rapacious. His head is thick, his gait stately, his aspect, noble.' There we are, Mister Tinker-'aspect noble.' And it sez that his voice is tremendous' To pop th' question to wan ov th' kittenish kiond-be a Lion, Mister Tinker. Be like the typical member ov the carnivorous order ov mammals, and a representative ov the family Felidae, and th' swate darlint will dhrink milk from yer shaving mug. Ye 'll be going to bed, Mister Tinker? Shure, an' it is toim. H. Cornebius Tinker bade all good night and retired-without having wound his watch. And Bill Flyn, self satisfied, and with arched back and stretched legs, purred his assent under the affectionate strokes of Casey. Pl? is QF Sk 4? fl? Little Arte wants yer. It Was the office boy. Bing shuddered. What could it be now. Perhaps the President wanted to know if he 'd married yet. Bing's conscience was clear-he 'd intended to ask Miss Rose, but some way Casey's advice didn't seem exactly encouraging. Any way, he'd see little Arte. Next week is your Vacation, Tinker, but you can go for both this week and next on full pay. You may draw it tonight-that is all. A vacation! Horrors! He 'd rather marry Mrs. Swartz. jiEr-Er-But Mr. Arthur er-I 'd rather not-er-take it, thank you. ' The President seemed to expect the answer which Bing gave. h. i'Very well, Tinker, on your way out tell the boy I want to see im. ' Yes sir. 1 X Bid he bounce yer? asked the boy as Bing came from the oflice. Bing never could understand the boy. He seemed so eccentric. He wants to see you. ,','Gosh! What did I do? Holy Jupiter! I bettcha I get the can.

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24 BLUE AND GRAY wavered above Miss Rose's forehead. She had piles of hair. In that fleeting moment he noticed that it contrasted most favorably with the pink of her dress. He wondered if his would look like that if he Wore a pink tie. He'd try it. It was three. Miss Rose began putting on her things. Bing reached for his watch. Miss Rose spoke. He forgot his Watch. HI'd never go home to my rooming house tonight if it Wasn't be- cause I hate to change beds. My landlady is cleaning house. I despise spring house cleaning. That settled it. Bing would marry Miss Rose. :Ks 5? S6 S? In the home where, in theory, Casey 's word was law, Bing Tinker and Bill Flyn, the cat, had become staunch friends. At exactly 7:15 Caseyls spouse left the room wherein were sitting Casey, Bing Tinker and Bill Flyn. At exactly 7 :15W Bill Flyn crawled lazily up onto Bing's knee, purring his affection and arching his back under the friendly strokes of Bing. At exactly 7 :16 Bill Flyn leapt madly thru the window into the yard, his wild eyes bulging, his tail feather- dustered so that its bone was showing thru the hair. Do yez mean it? asked Casey excitedly. ' Bing blushingly nodded. Then ye've get it,H pronounced Casey. I'll bet a dollar to yer face that ye've been eatin' candy with soap in th' cinterf' I-I've got what? Why, the Fzwer. So ye're thinkin' of marryiw, Mister Tinker? Er-Er-Yes. That is-Mr. Arthur advised such a course. And have yez popped the question to th' darlint?,' I-I don 't believe I quite understand. Have yez dhropped to yer knees and whrung yer hands and told her all thim lies such as sayin ye 'll take pizen, ye 'll die and the loikes 0' that if she refuses to be yours? In other whords, have yez asked to be her swimmin' teacher across the sea of Life? Why-n-no-I-I havenit. C-Could you oifer any advice as to how I should go about such a thing? 'Twould be grand if yez could go about sech a thing-but yez can't-when ye've got the fever. That's what the faver is fer-to edge yez to the pint o' proposin'. In the iirst place, Mister Tinker, Zwhat sort of a female is she? d Wht-er what sort? Why-er-. Oh yes-she wears a pink ress. Yez doift say, Mister Tinker. Sure an' it can 't be Mrs. Swartz? No. No. She-er- O yes CBing reads the description in Mam- mies' Advice to Beauty Seekers'j Yes, I have it. She is kittenish. Yes -kittenish. ' ' H'm. You 0loii't say, Mister Tinker? Casey slowly went to the book shelf and slowly and deliberately selected a dust-covered volume. Still more slowly he turned the leaves, laboriously squinting at their contents. It sezs, announced he at length, in the Dictionary, that 'Kit- ten' means a young cat. Now kittens all grow to be cats, don't they, Mister Tinker, unless they be dhrowned in the wash tub? Yes -to be sure. Let me see, Casey found an encyclopedia.

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26 BLUE AND GRAY President Arthur beamed pleasantly upon the boy, extremely self-conscious as he stood awkwardly before big Little Artie. I 'fIt'll mean live dollars extra for you if you can do it. HDO what, sir? Harry, l want you to thoroughly convince Mr. Tinker that a vacation would he beneficial to his health. I want him to go by to- morrow. There 's five in it if you persuade him to go-I cant. That is all. ' The boy grew bolder. t'May I have a half out of the five nowilll HWhat! Take part of your reward now? What redress will I have if you fail? HI ain't gonna fail, MGood. Here ls a dollar. But llm afraid you'll not bribe him with that. VVhat on earth do you need with- I need it to buy dynamite. The President suppressed his mirth. He turned his back .and leaned over his desk. Better buy nitro-glycerine, grinned he, Hif you intend to budge Tinker. i For nine years Bing Tinker had carried on all his business com- munications with the stenographer through the office boy. Today he went to Miss Rose himself. 'fEr-Miss-Rose-, it is now luncheon time. Could we er-could you-er-can't we lunch together today, Miss Rose? Miss Rose was typing. She hit the shift key in place of en, You-you were addressing meill' Er-No mam-that is-I mean yes. We can lunch at er-the Peacock? . I shall be delighted, Mr. Tinker. , A Miss Rose pinched herself as he put on her things. Two tellers stared open niouthed. Bing had forgot his stick and gloves. Miss Rose and Bing went to the Peacock+the first time he had company for lunch since he sipped soda from the same glass with a girl schoolmate. ' Well, 'I'll be d--d. It was Little Artie. Y Gosh, exclaimed the boy. I thot the Boob would forget his derby. Gee-if he 71 ad I'da lost the fivef' '4What has that to do with your winning the reward, Harry?'l HDO? it has mfwyflztng to do. That's where I put the Dynamite. The boy handed a small paper pamphlet to the President. Hercules Dynamite, for Farmers. CAUTION: While Hercules Dynamite is not at all offensive to the smell, it is wise to avoid inhaling either the odor from the Dyna- mite itself or the fumes produced by an explosion, as it often leads to a strong throbbing at the temples and terrific headache. A-And you put it in his derby? 'fYeh-under the sweat bandfl ' 4 Here 's your reward. But-Mr. Arthur-Yuh made a-yuh gave me more than-l' Little Artie was grinning as he disappeared into his office. How awkward of me I At first sight of them Henri, the Peacock 's oldest employee, has- tened to the kitchen where he gulped down a Bromo seltzer. But when he saw Bing Tinker and Miss Rose actually sit down together at