Mountain View Union High School - Blue and Gray Yearbook (Mountain View, CA)

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BLUE AND GRAY 23 can start you in hy introducing you to the ladies whom I men- tioned. They are probably in tiie l)all room; the music has liegun. Xow. tlien, a few pointers. Flattery, in a good many instances, is an excellent helj). To demonstrate I ' ll instruct you and Sam what to do. Xow Sam is ([uite handy as a talker, so I ' ll have him break the ice. The elder girl is the one with whom you should talk; she is an authoress — in a different line from you. She doesn ' t dance, yet she would blush with pleasure if she were asked. Sam, you ask her to dance after you inti ' oduce Arthni ' , just to show what flattery will do. Understand? We understand, and the trio left for the l)all room. The editor looked intei ' estcdiy on as the two younger men pro- ceeded toward the ladies. Gee! The younger one is a peach, exclaimed the artist in an undertone. Why in the dickens doesn ' t she write? Never mind the looks, mind the intellect. Ah! Good evening. Ladies. Good evening, Mr. JIartin, they smiled. I should like to acquaint you with a college friend, Mr. Arthur Collins. Collins, Misses Jane and Genevieve Hooper. The usual light just-after-acquaintance-remarks followed, such as concerning the weather, trip, and the delightfulness of — etc. The assistant glanced concernedly at his companion, who was making poor progress with conversation with Miss Jane. Miss Jane, said lie imploringly, may I enjoy one of the profoundest of pleasures — that of dancing with you ' ? ' ' To his unspeakable embarrassment and amazement slie nodded delightedly, rose and began tapping her foot in time with the rliytlniuc music. She took his arm and assurance that he felt faint ;ind dizzy in spite of his healthy robust youth. Filled with anger, disgn.st, and embarrassment he took her, as soon as he could courteously do so, to her seat. To his further humiliation his friend and Jliss Genevieve had gone to the deck. An hour later, tilled with I ' emorse, he left hei ' and went to his state room, which he and his uncle had shared together. I thot you said Jliss Jane di ln ' t dance, he accused his uncle. She didn ' t, when T saw her last. Then sarcastically, but Geniis learn quickly. ' Twas early the following moi-ning that the worried artist con- fronted the assistant editor. I thought your uncle said Miss Jane didn ' t dance? She didn ' t, but Geniis learn quickly. T thought you didn ' t dance. I ' ve heard you say it was a waste of time. I learned exceptionally (piickly. l y Jove! old iiuin, maybe — maybe I ' m a — Collins, you ' re an ass, a pei ' fect ass. I wanted you to talk with Miss Jane. But you said she was an authoress. That ' s too nearly like me because I, too, am interested in literature. I was following your uncle ' s advice and acquainting myself with the views —

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22 Bl.ri ' ; AND CRAY ■ ' . (i v you look lu-rc. dciiiaiRk ' d llic editor, impatiently. You ' re intending to make cartooning your career, aren ' t you? Certainly. And I ' m to l)e thorough; no haphazardnes.s. A cartoonist must l)c good. Ah. that ' s e. actly the point. Wiuit would you thiid of a cai ' - peiitel- who spent the hest pai ' t of tlii ' day in drawing | laiis when iu ' couldn ' t skillfully use his tools ' I ' d say he was an idiot. Exactly. And that ' s exactly the impression you ' ve made upon nu ' . Here you are planning a career before you know the first lessons in Life. You ' ve an excellent education hut no experience, not the least sense of ordinaiy judgment. Your meaning is vague, Sir. Well. I can ' t make it any jiiainer unless you say that you don ' t really know Life as it is. Your mind is narrow. You ' ve tiiought of nothing hut what concerned your personally. What you need is to broaden your knowledge, to know a little of every- thing. Your drawings show your lack of knowledge of human na- ture. They ' re mechanical, they do not reflect the work of one who l)uts his soul into it; they even advertise your lack of nnderstaml- ing. What you need is a knowledge of human nature. You sliould know people, people in every walk of life; get their ideas, their views ; know their desires, pleasures, emotions ; make acquaintances and, above all, cultivate that self-magnetism which captivates the friendship of those who know life as it is, who ' ve felt its knocks and ac((uired their knowledge thi ' ough bitter or sweet experience. Learn of the woi ' ld and in so doing learn of its people, — the farmer, doctor, drummer, pugilist, school teacher; learn their views. I5e a good listener and they ' ll reveal their inner selves to you. To and they ' ll love you. Encourage them to talk — listen to their tales of woe — you ' re the gainer. I always did make acquaintances easily, protested the artist. Certainly at college. But look at this stout Dutchman puf- fing and panting along. How would vou start a conversation with him? Why T — T wouldn ' t want to talk with him; liut if necessary 1 should speak of — of the Aveather and — eventually offer him a cigar. Ah ! T knew it. You don ' t understand people. Whoever heard of a Dutchman smoking anything liut a pipe. Now here is an excel- lent chance to begin. Start a conversation with any one who is dif- ferent from vou. You ' ll never be a popular cartoonist unless vou do. T was (|uite popular at college. Yes — where every one knew vou ]iersonally. You were an athlete, reminded the assistant. Athletes are always jiojiular. And what resjiect do you expect to gain from the world at large .iust because you are athletic? demanded the editor. Do you think mere endurance in a mile race will gain popu- larity? Why, man. a jackass has endurance. Ts a .jackass to be re- spected? No — but his heels are. not his personality. By Jove, Martin, T believe you are right. 1 know I ' m right. Begin now. It ' s half a man ' s education

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24 BLUE AND GRAY Sluiuks. liL ' said that 1 lacked that iKTsonal iiiagin ' t — ' Vou lack ordinary grey matter. ' Besides, Miss Genevieve is duced jiretty and ] Iiss Jane why she ' s getting old — she ' s wrinkled about tlie mouth. They ' re wrinkles of mirth. And she has dark eyes — sure sign ol ' barhai ' isui. ' They twinkle. ' ' And her lip — too red to be natural. ' They ' re duced kissal)le. Besides you might iiavr shown hri ' eourtesy by not leaving as you did. Miss Genevieve suggested it. She wanted to watch the union rise. Jt was full last night and looked like a silver dollar. Say, do you know, old man, I ' ve always considered myself fairly sensible ovei ' women, but now — I ' m fairly insane and feel as romantic as a lovesick school boy. I ' ve often heard that the ocean and ronumtie circumstances — say 1 wonder — I wonder if it could have lieen that silvery moon ! ' ' 0 darn, growled the assistant. For three successive evenings Samuel Martin, assistant editor for the Martinville News, alternately cursed his friend of artistic temperament and danced with Miss Jane Hooper. On the fourth evening he was inditt ' erent ; on the fifth, interested. He w as now impatiently awaiting the arrival of the sixth. From the ship ' s librarian he had purchased a book containing advice to young novel- ists, through wliich he I ' unnnaged, cramming his restless memory with knowledge which he thought might l)e useful in his talks with the authoress. So far during the voyage she had not mentioned the subject of literature. He hoped she would never mention it, yet he was determined to pi-epare himself for the worst. He was to meet her at eight. The hands of his watch marked seven-thirty. He scowled irritably as the little minute luind ticked off, with slow hesitating ticks, the dragging seconds. He again brushed his neatly parted hair, hitched his tie, arranged his scarf pin, and during his anxious waiting, utterly forgot to curse Collins. Engagement, Samuel? asked the editor. Yes, for the entire evening. I asked Arthur in for a game of pinochle but he, too, has an engagement. I supjiose things are running smoothly. ' ' Perfectly. I suppose he is teaching her to draw. Ves. Arthur says she learns (piickly. The editor grinned. Birds of a feather, y ' know. I said she was a genius. Vou said Miss Jane was, not Miss Genevieve. I ' m speaking of Jane. But he ' s not teaching Miss Jane. Miss Genevieve ' s his pupil. What! He ' s teaching Miss Genevieve. They ' re uji on the deck draw- ing the moon and clouds. O the idiot, the blundei ' ing hypocrite! Wiiat ' s got into him? And you, you infernal parasite, whom are you to meet?