Mount Vernon High School - Forum Yearbook (Mount Vernon, OH)

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26 THE FORUM voice, sweet toned and powerful with the persuasiveness of eloquence. Poor fel- low, its a shame but then this matter of parallel lines has to be proven. He will at least gain great renown in the next generation tho he die a poor man in this. There's so little romance in these modern days that we must make the most of it all. Now Berta and Earl must be married. Oh, Aphrodite, you make me tired! You're the silliest thing I ever heard of. No wonder girls haven't any sense with such a sentimental thing as you for an example. Still I've found two or three girls who are sensible enough to think as I do. Now there 's Hazel Graff, Mary Mochwart and Alma Lepley, who I will compel to take my vow of perpetual maidenhoodf' said Diana. Then the mighty Zeus spoke, Of course you all know that Mary Ewing is to be a spiritualist. Thru dreams she will tell what great events are going to happen. She will be hired to go as an assistant to General Englehardt in his campaigns. I guess that at least is agreed upon by everyone . But what about Verna Salis- bury? What is she to do? Shall she be at the head of the Salvation Army or appear in the Gigglers? Really now, it seems to me that there is no one who can take her place as a worker in the army of Salvation while there are plenty who are well fitted for the stage. Now there's Besse Van Voor- his. You all know how she starred last year in that Merchant of Venice written by that man whom they claimed to be im- mortal. Well, do as you please about that, I've a very serious matter to put before this assembly. Now over in America there are thousands of children working in shops, factories and cotton iields. It has to be stopped and it seems to me that we have the very person to help us in Anna Black. You know how well she plead this case on March the twenty- ninth. A good suggestion. And there's that matter of vivisection that I'd like to have settled. This cruelty to animals is hor- rible. Now there 's no infiuence on earth as great as a woman's, you'll all admit, and it seems to me that it would be a good plan to put some one, say Vernice Phu- lips, who has expressed her sympathy, toward us at the head of the movement for its abolishmentf' Oh that 's so uninteresting! Why don't these mortals do things like the ancients used to? It was just a circus to sit up here and watch the Trojans and the Greeks ghting down there at Troy- so romantic too. This was the god of war who spoke Well, I for my part thank heaven that people are not as they used to be. But now is our busy time of the year, so don 't Waste any more time ruminating over old times. Let's decide about that Leon Zeisloft next. I think he had better have a printing establishment in New York, and publish that magazine, The Snail, edited by Hazel Kirkpatrick. They will both gain great renown thru the articles published in it on Influence. He doesn't have to be a bachelor does he? It would be a shame to spoil that charming romance of his, interrupted Venus. Do as you please about that but don 't interrupt. We 've only an hour to determine what shall be done with the other twenty-five of the class, so hurry up. Now there's Louise Sperry. Has anyone anything particular they would like to have her do? Oh, she's perfectly grand in chem- istry. A regular shark. She shall be a chemist of great renown. 1 will attend to

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THE FORUM 25 sailors who knew the country well should take me to the different places of interest around that vicinity. One morning we started across the isthmus and after many interesting places had been passed we ar- rived at the famous city of Athens. After staying there several days We went by short journeys to Thebes and thence to the state of Phoicis Where We planned to stay a week in the mountains and then by a different route to work our way back to Prasiae. We tramped thru the mountainous country several days and in the middle of one afternoon, after a hard journey, my guide said that we were in the neighbor hood of the famous old oracle of Delphi and that if I thought the journey of a few miles would not be too tiresome we would camp for the rest of the day and night in the vicinity of the famous spot. I joy- fully agreed and in a short time we ar- rived at our destination. We pitched our small tent and then started to see the sights. I found it all intensely interesting as my guide told me numberless stories of the deception worked on the old Greeks by the priests who had been there. While he told me the stories as we lay there in the sunshine a dreamy sort of feeling came over me and I mused and wondered how people ever in those old, by-gone days could have been so simple and cred- ulous. Then vaguely was impressed upon my mind the sound of voices, far away and yet distinct, which were sometimes raised in noisy argument, sometimes low- ered in sweet, soft tones of pleading. But how was this ?-I heard the class of 1911 mentioned!! Had the fame of that au- gust body penetrated even to the peas- ants of this region?-I thought-I won- dered, but at last it was all clear to me: The Gods were arguing and deciding the fate of members of the class of 1911 of Mt. Vernon high school. Suddenly the tonal quality of the voices changed. It seemed as if, for some inexplicable reas- on, they had become more clear and dis- tinct and the voice of Zeus was heard commanding silence and then the argu- ments Were continued in earnest. Well, I've been interested in two of them for a long time, said a sweet low voice which I immediately guessed to be Aphroditet's goddess of love and beauty, There's a bashful youth, the president of the class, who seems to be having a pretty hard time. My one request is that after four years of college life he and Evelyn be married by tl1e Rev. Lawrence Fletch-- er and live happily ever afterward. And I want a reform in the manner of warfare and I've found the man to do it. I'll put Englehardt at the head of the army and he'll introduce sane and hu- mane warfare. He'll chaallenge the countries to football and thru him Amer- ica will gain supremacy over the world. It was the great god of war Ares, who spoke these words. Since you have all had your choice, I guess I'll do as I please with some of your charmers said the jealous Hera. Now, Irene Zeisloft must go into a nun- nery for ten years at least. Never! Irene is a charming girl and she and Helen Porter are both to be mar- ried within a year, retorted the goddess of domestic happiness. I spoke first, I guess you can't have everything your own way. Silence, I granted Athena their des- tinies yesterday, thundered Zeus. She has also as goddess of wisdom the privi- lege of deciding the fate of the learned ones. She has chosen Mae Bartlett to re- form the schools in America. There are to be no text books in school after she has made her reforms. You told me that Raymond Spechk was to be a martyr for my cause, said a

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THE FORUM 27 her future, said Diana eagerly. That's all O. K. with me. Has anyone any objections? -Silence. Well, that 's settled then. But what about Mable Cole- man? Wasn't it decided that she should play in the Metropolitan Opera house when Beulah Doelfs appears there as- No, that isn't it at all. Beulah is to play That Slender Mayde in the Prince of Gibraltar, written by Vivian Dowds and set to music by Mable Coleman. Mon- roe Kaufman will lead the orchestra. Of course, all this Won't happen right away. It's lovely to be able to blend together the destinies of these classmates. It 's too bad that we can 't spare some one to ac- company Portia Wagner to her Mission in Shanghai. Well, why can't we? asked Diana. I think those poor Chinese need a school teacher dreadfully. Why not send Mary Blair with her and let her teach the Chi- nese with the aid of the Bartlett 's Peda- gogy Newly Systemized? Or you might have her marry and take her husband- suggested Venus. Oh, I wish you would keep still about marriage a few minutes! That's all you can talk. You ought to be content at hav- ing that pretty Grace Faddis marry an old French count just for his title. It seems to me that it's rather a shame that you couldn't have given her a better fate. Af- ter all that money was left to her she could have done a lot of real good work, if you hadn't insisted on an old count- No one expects you to understand anything about love. You 're just jealous because no one is in love with you. Silence! shouted Zeus. If this quibbling isn't stopped l'll dismiss the council. Well, if you didn it always let Aphro- dite have her way- Keep still, will you? I- Then came a sound of great confusion, followed by a voice which I had not heard before but which I had decided was Ceres. What, quoth she, what means that cloud of dust appearing like a speck on the horizon? See it advances! What a dreadful noise is makes. Suddenly with a great burst of speed a thing traversed the plains toward me, mowing down trees, houses, telephone poles and everything else that happened in its way. As it neared us I could make out an ominous and complex shape with oscillating pistons, whirring cams inter- mingled with a bunch of indescribable ma- chinery which would strike awe into the timid readers. Then changing gears the thing extended two bat-like Wings on either side, and leaping into the air with a bound, it soared and circled gracefully around, finally alighting at the front door of the oracle. Emerging from an entan- glement of ropes, straps, cables, etc., stepped a youth who bore a worried ex- pression on his countenance. On peering closer at his physiognomy I recognized him at once as being George Hookway, the renowned inventor of Copyrighted, Dirigible, Double-breasted, Seamless, Har- vester, Reaper and Mower. I then heard a noise as if rain were falling but I was mistaken for it turned out to be the pattering foot-falls of one Mr. H. Carey, the famed dancer, who learned the pro- fession at the Y. M. C. A. Professor Hook- way realizing the necessity of a person who could move quickly from one place to another had utilized Mr. Cary for an equilibrator. Crash! Then an omnious silence. Then the deep bass voice of Zeus thundered forth in mandatory tone, This is what comes of that fool idea of yours of having such a young man rise to glory too soon. Now he's dead and his great invention lost to the world. Oh, well, that's only one mortal gone anyway so what's the diHf. I'm getting