Mount Pleasant High School - Derrick Yearbook (Mount Pleasant, MI)

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'-I - ' YPJ1: :. f:i.i . .. 'mF fe'w':'.:vfw'-' 3-wg,-'L' ' ' . 1 , rg. ll 1, ' ' V' 'A -E - Jokes Ethel: Have you a sweetheart? Bessie: I don't know I never tasted it. Letha: Have you heard about the new missionary movement? Marion E.: No, is it anything like the Charleston? Dick: What happened to that girl I saw you making love to in the hammock? Dock: Oh, we Iell out. Fresh: Who is the smallest man in history? Soph: I give up. Fresh: Why, the Roman soldier who fell asleep on his watch. Frosh: What do they do in war when a marine is killed? Soph: Put a submarine in his place, I suppose. Turk: I'll save Helen's life some day. Friend: You will? 1-low is that? Turk: She said she would rather die than marry- me-and I'1l let it go at that. Mr. Wendt: How did you get red marks on your nose? Pennie: Glasses, Mr. Wendt. Mr. Wendt: Glasses of what? Mr. Grambau: Where do bugs go-in the winter? Ralph Miller: fAbsent mindedlyj Search me. Mr. Higgs: QTo clothierl I want a hat to fit my head. Clothier: Yes, certainly-a soft one? Jim C.: What do you mean by telling Helen that I'm a fool? Ruth: Heavens, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was a secret. Nurse: How much do you weigh? Student: About 120. Nurse: Is that with or without your complexion? Donna: QHaving just received a beautiful set of mink skins from her fatherl What I don't see is how such wonderful furs can come from a low sneaking little beast. Father: I don't ask for thanks, dear. But I really insist on respect. Teacher: How many senses are there? Student: Six. Teacher: How's that? I only have five. Student: I know it-the other is common sense. Daughter, said Mrs. Wilbur, what qualifications has this young man you are so anxious to marry? Well, Mother, he dresses well, he has a rather nice car, he is a swell dancer, he tells jolly stories he-- :'But Helen has he a job? Ohl Mother, I don't know. You have the funniest ideas. Charles Bailey: I wish I lived where the styles never changed. Alva Rahl: You might try the penitentiaryf' Dorothy Muma: The idea of working at Stenog. three hours a day. I would not think of such a thing. Ruth Lethorn: Neither would I. It was Mr. Higgs that thought of it. Harold Knapp giggled when Miss Fitch read the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast. You do not doubt that a trained swimmer could do that, do you? No ma'am replied Harold, But I wonder why he did not make it four, and get back to the side where his clothes were. Page Ninety-one

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1:32. N 1355 ' , 4 14 gi: ,S Q fs i 4 2 12 X :L-if :lux S gl I .. , ' f f - '- Ag, 3 E gurl' .5 1.13.5 5 - '- - - ' - :f F 5 E .ae 5.2 gui 5 J is 1 mnjfiifrfsilqf 2 31 2:5 Jokes Violet Goodwin: Oh, I wish these recipes would be more definite. Richard Bilcox: What's the difficulty my dear? Violet Goodwin: This one tells how to use up old potatoes, but it does not say how old the potatoes must be. Senior: Did you hold the mirror to her face to see if she was still breathing? ffsreshmanz Yes, and she opened one eye, gasped and reached for her powder pu . Jack Pierson: I hear that Old Skinflint tried to cheat your dad. Russell Stinson: How's that? Jack Pierson: Just before he died he buried his face in his hands. Miss Thompson: A scientist said we ought to eat food that will develop the cranium. Can any one suggest a menu? Bright Student: Noodle soup, head cheese, cocoanut pie. Winifred Walsh: You know Freed, I always speak as I think. Freed Egbert: Yes, dear-only oftener. That's the guy I'm laying for muttered the hen as the farmer crossed the yard. Johnny Chamberlain: Does your fountain pen leak all the time? Joseph Van Wie: No, only when I have ink in it. Miss Grohe: fIn sentence construction, readingj Luella was swinging in the hammock. What is 'in the hammock,' Bessie? Bessie B.: Why Luella of course. Helen Dersnah: Are you going to hand your baby picture in to the Zook? Student: No, I haven't one. Helen D.: Why don't you have one taken? Mr. Higgs: fin Speedwriting classy Can you hear me if I sit here and dictate? Student's reply: No, stand over here by the door. Mr. Higgs: Oh, I can'tg this morning I broke my belt. 77 We imagine that at Mr. Forhan's estate four or five of the bushes are spirea. I hear Bill was thrown out of college for cribbingf' uYep!n What happened? He sneezed while he was taking an exam in Russian and they threw him out for conjugating a verb. It will all come out in the wash, said the contractor as he looked at the bridge he had just built. Cha Doin'? Makin' up jokes. Workin' for some magazine? Naw-in a beauty parlor. Among My Lady Friends Are: The hangman's daughter-she knows the ropes. The garbageman's daughter-we have swill times together. The telephone operator--she has an awful line, always busy. The moron-she thinks one plays poker with Saratoga chips. The women who came to a make-up exam with rouge and lipstick. That person who wanted to know if Italian fiappers are called guinea hens. The patriot who thought the Japanese national anthem was, California Here I ome. C The home girl who thought that Peter Pan was a new kitchen utensil. The liar who thought that a falsehood was a wig. Conductor: Your fare, Miss? Miss: Do you really think so? Phyllis M.: I'd like to do something big and clean before I die. Ruth Mc: Well, why don't you wash an elephant? Page Ninety

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.-,H , -,, l. . -u , ' ' fn :.s.. b 'pt ,'w,.-ng. f. . J ..,f-if-lg. . ,, E , .IW ' ' I F. - s . 'l ,, -- -I Jokes The The The The The The The The Odd Menus orator eats tongue, I hear, Sultan, turkey lunch. undertaker drinks his bier, pugilist his punch. fisherman drinks Bass' ale, flea, tea made of hops, barber eats his hare fwith talej, Woodman eats his chops. The acrobat spring water drinks, The banquet man eats toast, Surveyors eat their stakes, methinks, And editors a roast. Shoemakers always eat fried soles, The printer pi and sweetsg The hungry actor eats his roles, Policemen eat their beats. Snappy Comment on Standard Classics DICTIONARY fFunk and Wagnalljz A bit plotless, but splendid vocabulary. NURSEY RHYMES fMother Goosejc Clever characterization. Plenty of action. CENSUS REPORTS fGovernmentJ: Decided realism. Perhaps a trifle too racy. Sex element predominant. TELEPHONE BOOK fBellJ: Characters CONGRESSIONAL RECORD QU. S. Legislatorsjz Speeches too long. Much su- perfluous verbiage. tend to obscure action. Setting is local. Let xzgirl Then x-4-y-zzgladness Let y:boy Also x+2y:jealousy Let zzchaperone And 2x+y:fuss Then x+y-1-zzsadness And 2y-xzfight She laid the still white form beside those that had gone befo1'e. No groan, no sigh from her. Suddenly she let forth a cry that pierced the still air, making it vibrate into a thousand echoes. It seemed as if it came from her very soul. Twice the cry was repeated, then all was quiet. again. She would lay another egg tomorrow. Between the dark and the daylight At the time of the rising sun Comes a pause in the night's peaceful dreaming- The alarm clock sounds like a gun! You hear in the kitchen below you A chatter that cannot be beatg The smell of bacon burning, And of coffee warm and sweet. From your bed you arise in a hurry And throw on your clothes in a great haste Then rush down the stairs to your breakfast, But you have only time for a taste. A sudden dash from the back door, A rush to the Ford machine A whir of the engine, the air is filled With the smell of gasoline. You drive as fast as ever you can Pell-mell past everything You slide your tires and run inside As the last bell starts to ring. You rip off your coat and tear off your hat., And bang shut your locker door Then slide in your seat, and And study for evermore. Page Ninety-two pull out your books,