Mount Pleasant High School - Derrick Yearbook (Mount Pleasant, MI)

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1:32. N 1355 ' , 4 14 gi: ,S Q fs i 4 2 12 X :L-if :lux S gl I .. , ' f f - '- Ag, 3 E gurl' .5 1.13.5 5 - '- - - ' - :f F 5 E .ae 5.2 gui 5 J is 1 mnjfiifrfsilqf 2 31 2:5 Jokes Violet Goodwin: Oh, I wish these recipes would be more definite. Richard Bilcox: What's the difficulty my dear? Violet Goodwin: This one tells how to use up old potatoes, but it does not say how old the potatoes must be. Senior: Did you hold the mirror to her face to see if she was still breathing? ffsreshmanz Yes, and she opened one eye, gasped and reached for her powder pu . Jack Pierson: I hear that Old Skinflint tried to cheat your dad. Russell Stinson: How's that? Jack Pierson: Just before he died he buried his face in his hands. Miss Thompson: A scientist said we ought to eat food that will develop the cranium. Can any one suggest a menu? Bright Student: Noodle soup, head cheese, cocoanut pie. Winifred Walsh: You know Freed, I always speak as I think. Freed Egbert: Yes, dear-only oftener. That's the guy I'm laying for muttered the hen as the farmer crossed the yard. Johnny Chamberlain: Does your fountain pen leak all the time? Joseph Van Wie: No, only when I have ink in it. Miss Grohe: fIn sentence construction, readingj Luella was swinging in the hammock. What is 'in the hammock,' Bessie? Bessie B.: Why Luella of course. Helen Dersnah: Are you going to hand your baby picture in to the Zook? Student: No, I haven't one. Helen D.: Why don't you have one taken? Mr. Higgs: fin Speedwriting classy Can you hear me if I sit here and dictate? Student's reply: No, stand over here by the door. Mr. Higgs: Oh, I can'tg this morning I broke my belt. 77 We imagine that at Mr. Forhan's estate four or five of the bushes are spirea. I hear Bill was thrown out of college for cribbingf' uYep!n What happened? He sneezed while he was taking an exam in Russian and they threw him out for conjugating a verb. It will all come out in the wash, said the contractor as he looked at the bridge he had just built. Cha Doin'? Makin' up jokes. Workin' for some magazine? Naw-in a beauty parlor. Among My Lady Friends Are: The hangman's daughter-she knows the ropes. The garbageman's daughter-we have swill times together. The telephone operator--she has an awful line, always busy. The moron-she thinks one plays poker with Saratoga chips. The women who came to a make-up exam with rouge and lipstick. That person who wanted to know if Italian fiappers are called guinea hens. The patriot who thought the Japanese national anthem was, California Here I ome. C The home girl who thought that Peter Pan was a new kitchen utensil. The liar who thought that a falsehood was a wig. Conductor: Your fare, Miss? Miss: Do you really think so? Phyllis M.: I'd like to do something big and clean before I die. Ruth Mc: Well, why don't you wash an elephant? Page Ninety

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.ff 571 5'-i:i-ee ' X, 4,477 r ? 'Z A 1. as ' :sf ' ,f5:fQ?S2l4'i5,f4T34-3 'fir is 4 1 1 .. . . , The Case Dr. Bilcox, R. S. V. P., the famous preacher-lawyer, will plead for the defendant an cshagge of insanity, self-defense and the fact that Lynch was not able to speak for imse . Dr. Bilcox is possibly one of the best known characters in the community, hav- ing existed here all his life, and now being a prominent candidate for county census taker. His influence will have a great bearing on the outcome of the trial. The prosecuting attorney will base this case on cruelty to Lilliputian humans. The jury has not been selected, and until then the case can not come off. Comins being held on a bale of S10.00. Coroner Axtell's verdict will be the chief point for the defense. Axtell is a very conscientious coroner and undertaker'and expects to make his trial funeral the feta of the season. Jokes Mr. Sicard: Entering Lewis's Clothing Store, and asks, Have you any white duck T Clerk: Beg pardon sir, but this isn't a poultry store. Miss Zimmer: Can you drive with one hand? Mr.- You bet I can. Miss Zimmer: Then have an apple. Miss Hannon: Waiter, this steak is terribly tough. Waiter: Sorry, Miss but we are not responsible for the morals of our food. Usher Qin movielz Where do you want to sit? Up front, half back or in the back? Miss Rank: If you please sir, I'd like to sit down. Miss McArdle: I was a big gun in college. Jack P.: I didn't hear a very big report. Higgs fin drug storej: I want a little pink tablet. Druggist: What's your trouble? Higgs: I want to write a letter. Mrs. Ganiard met a young lady friend while walking down the street and they stopped for a few minutes to converse. Lady Friend: I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours. Mrs. G. E. G.: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. Lady Friend: But your husband is still alive. , Mrs. G. E. G.: Yes, but his hair is gone. At the basketball tournament at Lansing Coach Johnson entered a restaurant, and as the pretty waitress glided up to his table to get his order he remarked: Nice day, little one. Yes, it is, she replied, And so was yesterday, and my name is Ella, and I know I'm a lovely girl and have pretty blue eyes, and I've been here quite a while, and I like the place, and my wages are satisfactory and I don't think there's a show or dance in town'tonight, and if there was I wouldn't go with you. I'm from the country and I'm a respectable girl, and my brother is the cook, in this restaurant, and he was a college football player and weighs 300 pounds: last week he pretty nearly ruined a S25-a-week traveling man who tried to make a date with meg now what'll you have, roast beef, roast pork, Irish stew, hamburger or fried liver ? P889 llithb-nine

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'-I - ' YPJ1: :. f:i.i . .. 'mF fe'w':'.:vfw'-' 3-wg,-'L' ' ' . 1 , rg. ll 1, ' ' V' 'A -E - Jokes Ethel: Have you a sweetheart? Bessie: I don't know I never tasted it. Letha: Have you heard about the new missionary movement? Marion E.: No, is it anything like the Charleston? Dick: What happened to that girl I saw you making love to in the hammock? Dock: Oh, we Iell out. Fresh: Who is the smallest man in history? Soph: I give up. Fresh: Why, the Roman soldier who fell asleep on his watch. Frosh: What do they do in war when a marine is killed? Soph: Put a submarine in his place, I suppose. Turk: I'll save Helen's life some day. Friend: You will? 1-low is that? Turk: She said she would rather die than marry- me-and I'1l let it go at that. Mr. Wendt: How did you get red marks on your nose? Pennie: Glasses, Mr. Wendt. Mr. Wendt: Glasses of what? Mr. Grambau: Where do bugs go-in the winter? Ralph Miller: fAbsent mindedlyj Search me. Mr. Higgs: QTo clothierl I want a hat to fit my head. Clothier: Yes, certainly-a soft one? Jim C.: What do you mean by telling Helen that I'm a fool? Ruth: Heavens, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was a secret. Nurse: How much do you weigh? Student: About 120. Nurse: Is that with or without your complexion? Donna: QHaving just received a beautiful set of mink skins from her fatherl What I don't see is how such wonderful furs can come from a low sneaking little beast. Father: I don't ask for thanks, dear. But I really insist on respect. Teacher: How many senses are there? Student: Six. Teacher: How's that? I only have five. Student: I know it-the other is common sense. Daughter, said Mrs. Wilbur, what qualifications has this young man you are so anxious to marry? Well, Mother, he dresses well, he has a rather nice car, he is a swell dancer, he tells jolly stories he-- :'But Helen has he a job? Ohl Mother, I don't know. You have the funniest ideas. Charles Bailey: I wish I lived where the styles never changed. Alva Rahl: You might try the penitentiaryf' Dorothy Muma: The idea of working at Stenog. three hours a day. I would not think of such a thing. Ruth Lethorn: Neither would I. It was Mr. Higgs that thought of it. Harold Knapp giggled when Miss Fitch read the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast. You do not doubt that a trained swimmer could do that, do you? No ma'am replied Harold, But I wonder why he did not make it four, and get back to the side where his clothes were. Page Ninety-one