Morristown High School - Cobbonian Yearbook (Morristown, NJ)

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THE COBBONIAN l922 Prophecy of the Class of 1922 ABRAM GUREVITZ Entering the great hinky dinky metropolis of McCarthyville in the borough of Eatontown, we were taken to Mayor Lane, otherwise known as the Woman's Home Companion, who with his honest bunch of crooks some- times called aldermen, consisting of Berkley Boniface, Charles Lee, Warren Mahoney, Henry McWhinney, and William Menagh, accompanied us first to Spingler's Meat Market, where he and Lackey Mainiero were assisted by Andy Nodoro and Frank Rodler in taking dew drops out of peppers with boxing gloves on. From there we were escorted by Police Sergeant Bockoven and his loving roughhouse squad, consisting of Wesley Thompson, Wilson Neill, Robert Smythe, and Arthur Chapman, to Marguerite Dooling's Manicuring and Shoe Shine Parlor. She was ably assisted by those incapable shine artists, Phyllis Azzarra, Beatrice Appleby, Lillian Baldwin and Anita Barrera. Hav- ing cleansed ourselves we repaired to Pete Searles' jazzem Dance Emporium. The main feature was that dancing demon, Cyril Whitehead. He was accom- panied by the Eczema Quartet, Helen Bagnall, Myrtle Beddow, Muriel Bown, and Dorothy Van Cleve which broke out in the song, entitled: I'd rather have two little girls of sixteen than one of thirty-twof' composed by that in- famous funeral Jazz Band, Shel Scoble, Robert Tiger, Garrett Byrnes, Robert Cunningham, and Fred Earl. After watching those undignihed dancing mas- ters, Dave Rubidge, jim Carton, and Carlton Yawger, strutting around, we went next door where we encountered Abe Gurevitz, Jake Kasdin, Ted Mintz, local merchant princes, selling paper stretchers. Further down the street Red Jordan was seen reciting that antiquated ballad, The tears rolled down his back so he got bacteria, to Liz Babbitt. For his poor showing he gave as an encore the great Shakesperian poem, They named the baby Rosy after her father's nose. Going back on the other side we stepped into the Wise Owl Publishing Co. At the editor's desk was Beat Niper writing on Why Gold Fish Should Not Be Put to Death With Thumb Tacksf' In the typing room Helen McDermott, Alice Morrison, and Theresa Naughton were racing to see who could turn out the most errors every 640 seconds. Also in this room were Marion Tiger, Margaret Sayre, Emylie Nappin, and Doris Boniface, cham- pion typists of Whippany River, who in the last contest broke four machines and no records. The unsophisticated lithographic staff, Vera Beston, Hilda Brook, Agnes Butera, and Elsie Chadwick were settingup that famous story, 22 if

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H COBBONIAN And thatte saine noble Garrette Byrnes, The thoughtful editor did choose To seke the schole, hir bends and turnes, And route hyni out ye byttes of neWes. And last of all, ye scarlette bard Syr Laurence, Was the poet chosen. The troubador's sad life is hard, He e'er hath patches in hys hosen. And to this valiant classe did falle, Alle victories bothe smalle and greate, Forre thei didde Wynne atte Basketballe, And thei didde conquire atte debate. And thusse the High Schoole yeeres doe end And glorious onne their Wai thei Wende. Forsoothe rnuch more mighte Wee endite, And manic ferlies myght Wee telle, Of menny a battel Worthie knyghte, And manie a lovely Demoiselleg And thys was Writ in yeere of grace Nineteen hondredde Twentye-Twoe, Inne Morristowne that lovlie place, The Wondres of the storie greweg And yt Was tellen Wythe muche moil, By ye gode knyghte of Cunninghame, To Which he reccomends hys toil, Your pleasure kynde, syr or madame, And yu verse by ye troubadour, That Syr Laurence De jordanne, For Which he asks no lesse no more Thanne grace frae Womanne and fro rrianne And our last plea in song or Word When Wee are layde down Wyth ye moles Sai forre ye sakke of ye blest Lord, A Requiescat for our souls. 21

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THE COBBONIIAN 1922 How to cure ZEROitis in teachers. Next door at the U. R. Stuck Music Co. Eleanor Foster, Edna Eakly, Eleanor Follis, and Eleanor Cook were giv- ing away copies of the pamphlet on How to take the wrinkles out of Wrig- ley's Gumf' Fashion Plate Perrault, Farmer Gunther and Ellie Faulkner were demonstrating this method before the ladies Show No Mercy Club, consisting of Theresa Gallagher, Rita Glanville, Margaret Gogerty and Mary Howard. Further down at the Dollar Down and Dollar When You Catch Me Clothes Co. Jeanette Jordan, Wilma La Tourette, Eliza Loree and Marjorie Little were buying straw hats for Christmas. Upstairs, the movie, Do Cthers or Others Will Do You,', was playing before these unlettered cen- sors, Dorothy Kelly, Margretta McCormack, Alena Ochs and Florence Olson. In the hall Dick Davis and William McBride were trying to sell programs for the beneiit of Dr. Al. Thompsonls Association for Preventing the Sale of Fur- lined Bath Tubs to Esquimaux. From there we went to Pete Wyckoff's Eat It and Beat It Restaurant where Isabelle Prophet, Frances Pierson and Elea- nor Terhune were eating soup and keeping time to the tunes of those bum trombonists, Elmer Savadge, Louis Savadge and Al Sheerin. It was nine o'clock now and we had to go since the sidewalks were being pulled in. 23