Morrison High School - Morrisonian Yearbook (Morrison, IL)

Page 98 text:

Heard in English III. Bright Junior. England defeated the invisible Armada. Mr. Weaver, in ofiice, to Senior very much depressed: What's the matt er? Senior: I don't know. I got my own breakfast and I guess I must have poisoned myself. Martha B., paying for Senior cap. I want to pay for my cap. Clerk. Got the money? Martha B. Now, what do you think I'd pay you with? Miss Utley. George, take your seat. George. Sorry, Miss, but Mr. Mouck screwed it to the iioor. Teacher. Can anyone tell me why they made the hand of that Statue 11M inches long? Bright Soph. If they'd made it 12 inches it would have been a foot. Gladys R. All the Democrats in favor of installing this plank in our platform for 1916, please signify by saying Nay. Poor Freshie. Can't you see, teacher, I am trying to get ahead. Teacher. I hope you succeed, you need one bad enough. Miss Aitken. I can hardly remember the time when the popu- lation of the U. S. was only 50,000,000--25 years ago. Andrew S., in a stage whisper. How could she. She was only about ten years old then. Miss Barnes. Emerson, how do you make a maltese cross. Pete. Step on its tail. Junior. I heard you got a letter from your folks this a. m. Soph. Yes, I did. Junior. Any good news. K Soph. I don't know. It said return the letter in five days, and three days were almost up, so I didn't stop to read it. Miss Fredeen. How do microbes multiply. Fresh. Very rapidly. Miss Irwin, in Eng. Gram. Give the comparison of little, Clyde.

Page 97 text:

Miss Barnes CAnc. Hist.J. Who was Zeus? James Jenkins. He was a Greek goddess. Fresh. What's the board of education? Mr. Mouck. It used to be a shingle. Miss Barnes Cspeaking of succession to the thronel. What would the Germans do if the Kaiser should die? Beatrice J. Bury him. John Gridley CEng. Hist.J. Oh, Charles I was fierce and cruel. Teacher. Have you any proof of your statement? John G. Why, he cut a man's ears off, and then after a while he cut them off again. Student, reading German. He was very wonderful. Teacher. Why do you think he was so wonderful? Helen Olds. Because he held her hands. Alfred Collins. I'd rather be a live coward than a dead hero. Charles Burr. Hold! You know not my passion when angry. Sherman G. If noise makes a man, my chances are unexcelled. Miss Aitken. Where does a lyric poem get its name? George K. Because the poem is always accompanied by a liar tlyrel. Miss Utley to Miss Barker, at lunch. Mother, what will you have, light or dark meat? Student in Chemistry naming members of the vegetable king- dom: Onions, potatoes, beets, etc. Torrence. Now name some of the animal kingdom. Butt-in. Egg. Helen O. No, egg aint in the animal kingdom. Miss Irwin. Clarence, explain the difference between vision and sight. Bealy Austin. Some girls are visions, others are sights. Helen O. was in need of an imitation spider for use in the class play, so she went up to a clerk in the store and inquired: Have you any spiders? Clerk: What do you mean, skillet?

Page 99 text:

Sis. I have a new waist at home. Senior. Why don't you wear it. Sis. Iordered a skirt with it, and it hasn't come yet. I don't want to wear one without the other. Senior. Yes, Sears, Roebuck St Co. are rather slow in answering at times. Harold S., translating: I threw my arms around her neck, er-, and, er-, that's as far as I got. Miss Fredeen: L'That's far enough. Smith, learning trade. How many shirts can you get out of a yard. Boss. All depends on whose yard you get into. Physiography Teacher. Tell me the products of a volcano. Soph. A volcano gives up saliva. Discussion by the faculty as to the leading states in production: Torrence. Iowa is first in hog production. Barker. Didn't you just say you were from Iowa. Physiography Teacher. Describe a stream. Junior. A stream is a running body of water. PARODY Lives of students oft remind us, That we should pay no heed to books, But in passing leave behind us Interlinings in our books. Interlinings which another, Toiling hard midst grief and paing Some forlorn and iiunking brother, Reading, neler shall Hunk again. Note-It is with much regret we announce that due to lack of time, part of our jokes had to be omitted, in order to have the Mor- risonian in your hands before the close of school.