Morrison High School - Morrisonian Yearbook (Morrison, IL)

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ADVICE TO THE FRESHIES Be Careful what You Eat In these days of indigestion It is oftentimes a question As to what to eat and what to leave alone, For each microbe and bacillus Has a different way to kill us, And in time they always claim us for their own. There are germs of every kind In any food that you can find ' In the market or upon the bill of fare. Drinking water's just as risky As the so-called deadly whisky, And it's often a mistake to breathe the air. Some little bug is going to find you some day, Some little bug will creep behind you some day: Then he'll send for his bug friends And all your earthly trouble ends: Some little bug is going to find you some day. The inviting green cucumber Gets 'most everybody's number, While the green corn has a system of its own: Though a radish seems nutritious, Its behavior is quite vicious, And a doctor will be coming to your home. Eating lobster cooked or plain Is only flirting with ptomaine, While an oyster sometimes has a lot to say. But the clams we eat in chowder Make the angels chant the louder. For they know that we'll be with them right away. Take a slice of nice fried onion And your fit for Dr. Muniong Apple dumplings kill you quicker than a train. Chew a cheesy midnight rabbit And a grave you'll soon inhabit- Ah, to eat at all is such a foolish game. Eating huckleberry pie ls a pleasing way to die, While sauerkraut brings on softening of the brain. When you eat banana fritters Every undertaker titters, And the casket makers nearly go insane. Some little bug is going to find you some day, Some little bug will creep behind you someday: With a nervous little quiver He'll give cirrhosis of the liver: Some little bug is going to find you some day. When cold storage vaults I visit I can only say, what is it Makes poor mortals fill their systems with such stuff? Now for breakfast prunes are dandy If a stomach pump is handy, And your doctor can be found quite soon enough. Eat a plate of fine pig's knuckles And the headstone cutter chuckles, While the gravedigger makes a note upon his cuff. Eat that lovely red bologna And you'll wear a wooden kimono. As your relatives start scrapping 'bout your stuff. Some little bug is going to find you some day, Some little bug will creep behind you some day: Eating juicy sliced pineapple Makes the sexton dust the chapel: Some little bug is going to find you some day. All these crazy foods they mix Will fioat us 'cross the River Styx, Or they'll start us climbing up the milky wayg And the meats we eat in courses Means a hearse and two black horses, So before a meal some people always pray. Lucious grapes breed 'pendicitis, And the juice leads to gastritis, So there's only death to greet us either way: And fried liver's nice, but, mind you, Friends will soon ride slow behind you. And the papers then will have nice things to say. Some little bug is going to find you some day, Some little bug will creep behind you some day. Eat some sauce, they call it chili, On your breast they'll place a lily: Some little bug is going to find you some day.-Ex.

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A YEAR AGO CJunior Banquet 19153 The Board of Editors wish to express their sincere thanks for the use of the following toast, which was given at the Junior banquet, 1915, by our most respected mathematics teacher, Miss Mabel V. Williard, who is now teaching at Charleston, Ill. As we recollect our respective positions and social standing at that time, it seems queer, but we were there once, and did many things that would now seem odd. When I think of the Junior Class I am reminded at once of a recent visit to a music store. I was in quest of Morrison Loyalty. Had you gone with me you would have found some titles and first lines which would have startled you, no doubt. The Little Old Ford Rambled Right Along, to be sung with illustrated pictures by our friend Hank Has Anyone Here Seen Henry? Too Much Ford, someone said. However, just enough to deliver its owner safe and sound tonight. Then, There's Nothing to Do but Chat, to be put on soon by Sara Mitchell. She believes in it too, you know. There was a great headline which said, Try this over on your piano. This is what we were to try: Gladsome Gladys is Gathering Garlands for Glen, great garlands of glaring gladiolas she does gather, Glen gets a glance of .......,., and there it stopped. I thot it such a pity, for that part was so euphonious. Another the publishers assured 'me had only been out a few weeks, and had sprung into popular favor at once: 'Tm the Guy that Put Olds in 0ldsm0bile, by Birney, and the answer was, There's a Little Spark of Love Still Birney. Well, there are many ways of getting information, but this beats all. I didn't know before how musical our Junior Class was. What d'ye say, you lost those Boots? The author of this is unknown. He probably wrote it and then went to war. At any rate, we shall have one in war some day, for Bump Crump is re- ported to have sung upon request, When I'm Big l'll be a Soldier. Have you ever heard that tenor solo so delicately rendered by Lyle Ritchie on the Edison? He will sing from morning until night-if you keep winding the machine- Be my little baby bumble bee. But there was a sheet which you'll admit has an original title, Along came George, introduced and pushed to success by Alice. Then, too,