Morris High School - Yearbook (Bronx, NY)

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THE REFORMATION OF A MORRISITE When he had gone, Connie applied her troubled, but never- theless fertile brain to the arduous task of securing that perni- cious postcard before her father was aware of its existence. She must obtain it at all costs, even if she were obliged to pick the lock of the letter-box ...... AH!!! That was the solution to her problem! Now for practicable tools. Among the many diminutive but enlightening notes on Chem, Latin, etc., which she kept in the guileless-looking pockets of her dress for utiliz- ation during tests, she harbored a pen-knife, presented her on her nineteenth borthday by Aloysius Knutty. She decided to employ this in combination with a few hairpins from among the undulating masses of her marcelled crowning glory. N- Summoning her ebbing courage, Iona cried Am I not a Powderpuff? Shall this wild, untamed, spirit be restricted to a nunnery? Then she bethought herself, with almost human intelligence, that with this amateur burgular's kit the letter- box ought to yield to her efforts. For had not terror inspired her with great strength? Little did she think of the impending disaster! Little did she think of the dire consequences! For, if the truth must be told, little did she think under ordinary conditions and circumstances. Lightly she ran downstairs into the vestibule and com- menced to execute her ungodly plans. About her perieardiac section, loud thumps were audible in her dread fear of dis- covery! Finally the door yielded. Yes, there was a postcard! And, oh, good heavens, it was his signature also! Intnitively inferring the statements, she grasped it, thrust it into the above- mentioned pockets and made a home run! On reaching her room, Constance thanked Providence for what seemed to her to be the end of the matter. But alas, she had another guess coming her way! About fifteen minutes later, on hearing a knock on her door, she was startled to see her father enter. His very advent portended evil. Abruptly he asked her whether she had re- ceived any mail that day. When she replied in the affirmative, he requested it for his perusal. Oh, it is just a small matter, I've planned and worked on, and Ilve received the results from an interested party, she veraeiously replied. It is extremely private and personal, father, please ! I HI think we may as well come down to brass tacks. Is this your knife, Connie? 20

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Uhr Qiefurmatinn nf a Milnrriaite -W. ERl+lAFTl+lR, you must devote more time to lessons, and exert more effort, otherwise we shall send you to a convent to complete your 'ij L' education. Promises wonit have much weight ,Q then. Remember! With these parental threats still ringing in her ears, Miss Fonstance Iona Powderpuff f,..,...a., . flung herself upon her bed, exhorting the just heavens not to permit so much misery in a single individual. As she sat up, it could not truthfully be said that there was a fairer sight among all the fair Morrisites. For she was appealing, vivacious, tall though appearing a mere handful, and dainty as Dresden China. How could a great big brute of a Chemistry teacher threaten this divine creature with home notice? Nevertheless, it was true! For, but yesterday, he had maliciously conveyed to Miss Powder- puff the fact that a card was already on its way to her home. Iona bitterly soliloquized that in the event of her parents, en- lightenment on the subject, confinement to a convent would be inevitable. O Cicero and Ariobarzanes, help me, she cried, and fell to weeping. A fellow Morrisite, deserving of his name, was Oetavius XV0l'ldXV0lltlCl',+fGll0XV-Sllilif'l'01', scarcely in less jeopardy of freedom than our heroine. It was Saturday, his usual day to call on Constance Powderpuff. As he sallied forth in the full glory of his new trench suit, georgous tie Cpurchased at Incendiary's two for seven salej and the quite unnecessary bone-rimmed glasses, he asked fiercely why in these days of Democracy with a big D , teachers were permitted to practice their isms. Many a Saturday afternoon would he and Iona go bus-riding to forget the irony of Fate. Disguising the teachers by their accounts of one's persistency, anotherls per- spicacity, and still another's harsh penal laws was a pastime they 'd frequently f'indulge in. Upon his arrival, Fonnie narrated the existing state of affairs. Bitter tears welled into his optics as he vehe called upon Pallas Athene to disclose why mortals must suffer so. A few minutes later both resolved to turn over a new leaf. And so, the Spirit of Reform was imbued into the sapient, manly fellow! 19

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THE REFORMATION OF A MORRISITE With bitter acquiesence, Connie realized that in her haste and terror of discovery, she had neglected to take her knife and hair pins back. Since you evidently anticipated its arrival, I should like to see what impelled you to meddle with the lock, remarked Mr. Powderpuff. With no possible alternative in view, Iona extended the fatal information, He hastily scanned it, but when he raised his eyes, he saw his daughter in a little heap in the chair. Quickly, he raised his crushed darling. When she came to, she raised her beautiful eyes to his face. In their wondrous depths he read a pitiful appeal, the agony of the soul, and it stirred him. Finally when all had quieted down in the Powderpuff household, it was explicitely understood and agreed that Con- stance Was to have another and last chance to make good! ll! 3 if if if 9? if 16 Scarcely had a Week elapsed since the horrible incident above described, when Morris was in the grip of a great con- suming excitement. For lo! Miss Powderpuff had reformed! No longer did she idly sit in class and Wonder Why the Uh was silent in the Word chemistry. No longer would she ponder over the possible results of the window cleaners' strike. One day, a very early one in Connie 's metamorphosis Cfor now she is an Honor Studentj she was called upon in Chem. The prompt pedagogue, in anticipation of her usual dormant condition, had already marked the zip next to her name. He merely asked her to expound the commercial preparation of ammonia for the relaxation of his harrowed brain. Slowly the hirsute projections in his phrenological section were seen to rise in ragged, jerky lines on hearing the accurate description of this, the most complicated of processes. But to this very day, the students, undesirous of embarras- sing Iona, attribute the hairy rise and fall to his sudden re- collection of the high price of fish! Many Would be the conversations concerning the vicissitudes of life in Iona, formerly the most frivolous girly-girl, who was invariably prepared to say ' unprepared. ' 0 tempora, O mores, O di immortales! When shall Wonders , ye skeptics and ye pessimists, reflect and consider. For human nature is a thing of unlimited, inconceiv- able possibilities, as we have attempted to depict in this tale of the erstwhile, fair, foolish, female, Constance Iona Powderpujf. PAULINE WICHNER, 6-4, '19 21