Montvale High School - Echo Yearbook (Montvale, VA)

Page 20 text:

Come hither, fellow earthlings, give ear to the fantastic account of our audience with Argno- moriphoeia, the transcendent omnificent, who, because of the very peculiar circumstances of the date of our graduation, granted to me, the red headed son-of-a son-of-a-chip of the old block-- and to my classmate, privileged also because of a red head and restricted by a fettering leg cast, revealing the destinies of these, the elect graduates of MHS, 1961. This phenomenal coincidence, a date reading identically when reversed, is the key to the inner sanctum of his transcendent high¬ ness. Hands clasped and facing backwards, we entered the vast expanse of nothingness. A chill struck as strange vapors enveloped us. We turned, and the brilliance of a moon, half-filling the eastern horizon, caused us to cower in awe. Then wonder of wonders! There was projected on a mammoth Jupiterian screen the secret recesses of this terrestrial globe. First there appeared before our astounded eyes the thirty-eight year-old figure ofDONNY CAMP¬ BELL. Slim is running a very profitable tailoring establishment, catering to the hard-to-fit fig¬ ures. JEAN BEARD and her ever loving Aubrey have been, for the past three years, searching from Maine to California in an attempt to procure a cheap house big enough to hold their thirteen kids. TOE DOOLEY is touring the country with a band called Guy and His Ham Gravy Skillet Lickers. GALA BOWYER is living a quiet life on the Daniels ' ranch where she, her husband Clifford, and their five kids raise five hundred goats annually. DAVID GRANT is a Captain in the U.S. Navy. He has four wives (in different countries), and a girl in every other port. PATTY BOWYER is now a tycoon-ess in the canning business, and nets $92, 500.00 annually, selling P ' s Peas. ROY WILLIAM¬ SON and EDWARD FIZER are in joint partnership manufacturing Rye-Fize Fizz XXX, and MICHAEL WRIGHT is their Revenoor Spotter and Shooter. JOYCE BOHN has earned a fortune for herself by be¬ ing the voice of the successor to Huckleberry Hound, Fabiola the Frog. CARROLL HARDING is mak¬ ing $500, 000 annually as the head hauler for Roy and Ed, but every week he pauses to weep over his $7, 000.00 TV set as the voice of Fabiola Frog croaks to all America. KITTY BUFORD won out over twenty-five other nationally known musicians, and is now head accompanist to that great American Mezzo-Soprano, Minnie Pearl. U.S. President WAYNE KING is striving to eliminate the bloopers in the economic policies initiated by the boy wonder from Boston. PATTY CANNADAY has been voted Miss Gams of 1981 because of her extraordinary dances in the French burlesque theatres. HAROLD WHEAT is selling food and groceries for the elite canines around the world. His chief money-maker is choice filet mignon of quality hossmeat. NANCY CONNOR is writing a syndicated gossip column called Konnor ' s Krummy Korner. REV. DAVID YOUNG is trying to make a minister ' s salary, feed anO clothe his family of eleven, while his lovely wife, Hortense, eats caviar and drinks vintage 1872 champagne. MARTHA CRAIG, now Martha Armbrister, is bus¬ ily dressing Raymond, Jr. and yelling at the yard full of other little A ' s, while gazing wistfully at the gold framed, faded photo of a soldier once quite dear. LYNWOOD LUCK is finally happy. He ' s just discovered a way to pump gas, eat a mallow-cup, collect money, and give highway directions while making eyes at pretty women drivers. EDNA DOOLEY is driving Harvey ' s new ' 81 Ford down the ancient New London dragstrip. PEGGY DOOLEY and SANDRA FRANKLIN are running a theatri¬ cal agency. They call it the Ham-It-Up agency in memory of Mrs. Hamm who last year was bar¬ becued when she got too close to a rocket at Buford ' s Spaceport. DAVID NAPIER is now playing nursemaid to his eight little redheads while his poor wife plays sax in a combo which specializes in the newest craze, Martian Mudd-and-Flop. JOYCE FRANKLIN is the new top Fifth Avenue mod¬ el wearing the ' 80 ' s craze, Inverted Trapeze. D. NNY OBENCHAIN is head honor-ball coach at Oxford University. LINDA GILES, her husband Barry, and their ten children are Baptist foreign missionaries to inner Mozambique. Sister SHELBY went over with them, and she was last seen run¬ ning through the jungles looking for Johnny Weismuller. DICKEY ORR and his wife Doris are sing¬ ing romantic rock-and-roll duets for the old timers who can ' t stand Martian Mudd-and-Flop. LINDA RUFF portrays Olive Oyl in the Popeye series. JANE SMITH is writing a thesis on Mongoloid Mau- Maus, for her Ph D. in Psycho-Therapy. MARY TAYLOR ' S secret has finally been discovered. For the past twenty years she has been Groucho Marx ' s head gag writer. WARREN OTEY is now a state trooper who spends his time chasing teen-agers with hopped-up anti-gravity belts. GARY REAVES is a panhandler on the Bowery. Whenever any of his classmates are in New York, they look him up for the sole purpose of giving him a dime for a cuppa koffee. BRENDA ORANGE runs a dress design¬ er ' s school. Eighty-seven percent of the successful designers of the day have been trained at Mme. Bishop ' s. HELEN OVERSTREET writes horror stories for the late shows ' screenplays. LOUISE PIERCE declares that the arthritis in her left arm was caused by the weight of the glass which Bobby gave her twenty years ago for an engagement ring. EILENE PRATT and her husband Owen are in the phono¬ graph business, their specialty being Ei-fi. CAROLYN GIBBS and her daughter are working together crocheting doilies for President King at the White House. NORRIS JOHNSON is in the employ of the Kinsey Foundation where she is writing an interesting report on the romance life of an axolotl. She always liked lizards. . . B. ' XRBARA JONES is now in the circus. She dives from a one hundred foot tower into a wet sponge. DORIS McKINNEY has a mammoth family and sometimes exclaims in utter exasperation, I ' m just lost in these Woods. GAYNELL NESTER (Guinea) is the world-champion hog caller. She caused the great hog migration of ' 79 by calling hogs all over the U. S. Mainland to Virginia. Suddenly the moon is shrouded in darkness; we tiptoe away from the spot and hasten to transcribe these prophetic lines. Fixedly yours, David Young Napier Doris Jean McKinney

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We, the Senior Class of Montvale High School, in this upside-down year of our Lord 1961, presuming ourselves to be of sound mind, and now supposedly endued with profound knowledge, do desire to hereby bequeath our remaining possessions, and impressionable qualities to our worthy and devoted lower classmen in this our last will and testament. Disposing of our joint effects-to the long-suffering faculty we extend our sympathy for the strain which we have inflicted upon them in recent years. To the juniors, our immediate heirs, we leave the remains of the piano in the sacred senior room. To the sophomores, we bequeath our ability to transfer the Ole Spirit of MHS to the new high school, (if and when—). To the freshmen, we leave our ability to evade treacherous homework. To Mrs. Ruff, we express our gratitude for bearing with us as long as she did. Upon Miss Shealor we bestow our romantic tendencies. Individual bequests are: JEAN BEARD gives her ability to get and keep a husband to Leigh Link. JOYCE BOHN leaves her lovers ' quarrels to Linda Otey. GALA BOWYER leaves her mon¬ ey-handling ability to Margaret Boothe. PATTY BOWYER wills her friendly relations with Miss Rayburn to Johnny Morgan. KITTY BUFORD leaves her trim figure to Jean Stevens. BAR¬ BARA JONES leaves her quiet dignity to Virginia King. NANCY CONNOR wishes Nancy Dooley to have her athletic ability, and Amanda Ruff her job as editor of the annual. MARTHA CRAIG and JOYCE FRANKLIN leave the lovers ' corner to whoever gets there first. EDNA DOOLEY bestows her willingness to work in government to Philip Dooley. PEGGY DOOLEY, ungrudgingly, wills the blond streak in her hair to Sally Fellers. SANDRA FRANK¬ LIN and LOUISE PIERCE leave their driving abilities to Doris McClure. SHELBY GILES will¬ ingly bestows her disposition to anyone who can cultivate it. LINDA GILES conveys her fem¬ inine qualities to June Milton. CAROLYN GIBBS bequeaths her motorcycle-riding prowess to Helen Ruff. NORRIS JOHNSON wills her cheerleading outfit to anyone who can fill it. DORIS MC¬ KINNEY leaves her excellent scholastic record to Jean Morgan. MARY ANN TAYLOR and GAYNELLE NESTER leave their strong vocal cords to Shirley Brown and Patricia Anderson. BRENDA ORANGE tearfully leaves Bobby. HELEN OVERSTREET bestows her lunch ticket job on Carol Lam. EILENE PRATT bestows her favorite typewriter upon Vicki Reed but warns that it writes O-W-E-N automatically. LINDA RUFF wills her many boy friends to Mary Ty¬ ler. JANE SMITH passes on to sister Judy her flair for dating referees. HAROLD WHEAT, DONNIE CAMPBELL, and JOSEPH DOOLEY leave their friendship with Mr. McKee to Jimmy Giles. EDWARD FIZER bequeaths his modern bus to Jimmy Mattox. DAVID GRANT bestows his pleasing conduct and title of best-all-around upon Francis Rieley. CARROLL HARDING leaves his temperamental qualities to Bernard Alphin. DAVID NAPIER hands down his record of being absent twice a week and passing, also his office sessions, to Charles McClure. DAN¬ NY OBENCHAIN leaves his good looks to Ronald Pendleton. WAYNE KING conveys his leader¬ ship abilities to David Tyler. WARREN OTEY leaves his guard position to Tommy Obenchain. DICKIE ORR leaves but will return to visit Doris. GARY REAVES and ROT WILLIAMSON leave their pulpwood business to Richard Giles. MICHAEL WRIGHT leaves all his girl friends with great sorrow. DAVID YOUNG leaves his West Virginia accent to anyone who can master it. We do hereby appoint as our executors the benefactors of this document; and we trust that each stipulation will be carried out to the fullest possible extent. Dated this February 6, 1961, at Montvale, Virginia. MICHAEL WRIGHT, Scribe RICHARD ORR) WAYNE KING) Advisers

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JUNIORS