Monticello High School - Memories Yearbook (Monticello, IL)

Page 29 text:

Darrell Foster is song and dance man and is billed for next summer at the Lyric Theatre, where he will introduce his newest song, She was only a Fireman's daughter, but she sure could shovel coal. And Carol lives in Bement and is helping her husband in his never ending search for snappy sport news. Yes, and while I was passing' through Bement I heard a familiar voice falling on the otherwise soothing air. It was Mary Funk deliver- i11g a lecture from the platform of a Chautauqua tent. Catherine Hawbaker is conducting a Correspondence School. As usual she is never lacking suitors and at present Roy Brown and George Stanley are ranking first andifsecond respectively in the line of propos- als. I also heard it rumored that she had refused Stanley Strohl-? Norman Patrick and numerous others. Bess Maier is nlow starring in Fly, Fairies, Fly! She shines the fairies shoes. Winfield Holmes has just published a book of rules on, How to Elude the Fair Sex. And Martin Kratz, poor fellow. He was always a mysterious in- dividual, you remember. Well, I guess he has been solved. After a gay life in Greenwich Village, he is spending his last days in a private asylum, where he is getting the best of care. Mary Frances Lynch is the miost effective Hula Hula dancer this side of '36. Dean McCartney is salesman for a large corporation .in New York. He sells porcelain pots and pans and has a very effective line. Frances Hubbard is taking tickets at the Lyric Theatre. Ralph Harris is obese and portly and is the president of a distillery in Monticello, having risen from official tester to President. 'Virginia Hoskins is very popular in Monticello, after winning first prize in the Atlantic City Bathing Beauty Contest. She attributes her pulchritude to having worn a bathing suit from John Levin's Depart- ment Store. Marian Wheeler is an internatilonally famous astronomer, but she takes her honors calmly. She says that' she owes all her success to her habits of observing the constellations in High School. Olive Ahlrich and Agnes Brooks have developed into typical old maids with gray hair and false teeth. Walter Baker is mayor of Monticello and doing wonders in his Clean up the City Campaign. The evil of band concerts has been completely eliminated. Katherine Albert is posing for a dandruff exterminator factory, and her long flowing black tresses photograph marvelously. 'Hank' Hannah, drector of the B. A. M. movies has announced his engagement to the big beautiful blond who has played the leading part in recent productions. Evelyn Doss has aided in a new improvement on the Parker Foun- tain Pen. Page Twenty-flve

Page 28 text:

1948 It was the year 1948. The members of the class of 1928 of Monti- cello Community High School had scattered to the four corners of the earth. One cold wintry night, I was sit'ing at home with my wife and family, thinking' of my former classmates and wondering what had been their fate, when suddenly I heard a gentle knocking on the door. Upon opening the door, a very disreputable looking person fell into the room, half frozen and dir'y beyond recognition. I realized at once that the creature was in dire need of medical aid. I radio-phoned Dr. Ray Ashton to come at once and in exactly seventeen seconds. his non energy airplane alighted on my specially cons ructed landing field on the roof of my home. Dr. Ashton at once took matters in hand. The first thing done was to clean the face of the tramp, which required several hours, since it was no doubt twenty years since the last time it had been washed. The patient slept, soundly during the entire operation. He seemed to be in a very deep sleep. Acr-ide'-tally, Dr. Ashton, during the process of cleaning, spilled a little liquid soap into the yawning charm just below the pirate nose. The figure straightened up at once, and his face lit up with a broad grin as he said in a deep voice- Give me a cigarette bo. As sure as you're born that's 'Dirty' Savage, exclaimed Dr. Ash- ton. He hasn't4 changed a bit. YVho are you? said 'Dirty' blankly. Why, I am Dr. Ray Ashton, the most noted doctor in America, and a former clasfmate of yours. You're not .......... but it was too late. He had fallen asleep again. Dr. Ashton immediately mixed up a soap bubble' cock-tail, as only Dr. Ashton can, and forced it between the 'nigger' lips. Dirty again raised up. Why you're Ray Ashton and, you, he said, pointing his finger at me, you're the guy I used to copy off of when we went to School way back in 1928. Shortly afer graduating, being disappointed in love, I decided to become a wanderer and see the world, and in these travels to the four corners I have come in contact with all my former classmates. Say I injec1ed, What ever happened to Heath Bumstead? Heath is President of Jacksonville Women's College. And Clifford Ahlrich has just discovered a serum to make canary birds sing bass. Lucille Weddle is a member of the Salvation Army in the Samoan Islands. She has been especially successful in her work with the bar- barous natives. Lois Bradham is pastry cook for the Hotel Monticello. And Kate Adams is a midget with the Barnum and Bailey Circus and her latest flame is Archie Lilly, who carries water for the elephants. Helen Catlin is a star in Stanley Slevers' new production, The Un- covered Wagon. Mary Brady and Minnie Perry are digging fossils in Arizona. Their greatest ambition is to excavate an en' ire dinosaur in one piece. Page Twenty-four

Page 30 text:

Emma Flora is the glamorous dancer in the sensational revue, A Night Across the Border. Helen Timmons and Margaret Burcham are quite famous, being brought to stardom as the fairy ballet dancers in George Stanley's new Musical Comedy entitled, She Fell For Me, So I Let Her Lay. Norman Patrick has reached his ambition of being a cinema hero. He leads the dogs across the stage in The Hounds of Baskervilles. Versa McClellan is in the junk business in Monticello. Thelma Conrad met a sad fate. Her house burned down and she was forced to pawn her jewels for food. She is very sad because she hated to part with her fraternity pins and baby rings, as she said each one had a story behind it. Roy Brown is lecturing throughout the U. S. on Why Pigs Be- come Hogs. Eloise Combes recently won a husband calling contest. She took her prize to Iowa. Betty Worth and Cleta McElroy are in Monticello running' a notor- ious night club, The Red Lantern. Elizabeth Milligan and Irene Nisson have made a great success in the sale of their 'cuss word silencer'. I understand it is a coiled affair resting on the head and connecting with a horn into which one may make the naughty remarks. Without further remarks, 'Dirty' immediately sank into another world, while Dr. Ashton hurried in his plane to get a keg of soap. f Page Twenty-six