Monson Academy - Academy Bell Yearbook (Monson, MA)

Page 75 text:

The shock of ar11val 1n th1s desolate land caused Pete Capra to shake loose a gold p1vot tooth Pete lS now occupled 1n COHb1Ug the h11ls w1th p1ckaxe and donkey 1n search of the lost treasure led carey, who was d1scharged from Harvard for l1ft1ng test tubes, 1S now the v1llage glass blower Ted can be seen perlodlcally, wander lng around the community w1th a slab of molten pyrex p1y1ng th1s anclent art Walter Keeney, 1n the past twenty years, has acqulred the largest collectlon of buttons 1n the hastern Hem1sphere Walter lS very proud of h1S collectlon and can be seen countlng and re countlng lt da1lv, 1n order to ascerta1n whether any of D15 buttons are m1SS1Hg Robert snea, the v11lage taxldermlst, 1S busy stuifing stuff1ng h1s pockets, that 13, w1th f1ve dollar b1l1S Wh1Ch he gets from Albert Edelsteln who pr1nts them da1ly along wath h1s tip sheet on what's hot at Shangr1 La Park The law flrm of Swenson, bwanson bherman and Szostkiew1cz has been 1DdUSt lously engaged for the past ten year 1n attemptlng to p1n someth1ng on Peter Grlswold, whom Steve Luckraft, the manager of the local Punch and Judy show, has accused of throwlng hot-buttered popcorn and dlSTuptlng one of h1s otherwise aTt1St1C presentatlons John Tlerney, the m1l1tary gen1us and town dent1st, dr1lls teeth durlng the day and the local gendarmes on the vlllage green after supper Marshall Warren, who got the b1rd for Chrlstmas, 1S now the well supplled He has sw1tched from puck shooting to duck shootlng, s1nce there lS no hockey 1n Tlbet Dr Owen Nhlte, the famous surgeon 18 reputed to be the town's blggest operator It lS also sa1d that Owen's operatlons keep the vlllage folk 1n stltches Bob Talbot has one of the most envlable pos1t1ons 1D the town He 1S occupied only once every ten years taklng the census However, he Ht111ZSS every spare mlnute 1n pract1s1nb on h1s Kazoo, an 1nstrument in wh1ch he has atta1ned such prof1c1enqy that he lS forced by popular demand to g1V6 a yearly recltal nSqu1dU Carter and Bob Haggerty are also muslcally incl1ned and can be seen n1ghtly banglng the tambour1ne and clang1ng the cymbals on the v1llave green under the d1rect1on of the1r able captain, uon Turlonv of The Tibetan Salvatlon Army Sherman Olson, amateur botan1st, has been trylng for twenty years to plant Rlchard Jas1nsk1, who so far has refused to take root Jerry McCarte, the proprletor of Ye Old Tlbetan Tavern, keeps the COmmMnlty 1n good sp1r1ts, but Gene Dragon, who has reason to known COmp131DS that Jerry's celebrated As1at1c Ale 1S strlctly from Holyoke Unfortunately, V3Hd3l1Sm has found 1tS way 1nto th1S otherwlse 1deal communlty It 1S w1dely sus- pected that Al Perry, d1sappointed Ofllce seeker, lS gu1lty of pa1nt- 1ng the mustache on the st lklngly l1fe l1ke portralt of fonmer mayor, Bob Green . . . . . . . . . . . H , . I . . . 3 . O 1 . . . . O . . . U . Q . . 0 i ' . 0 . . . . . . . . 0 . , , , . . r. S . . P . . . . . . . . . 7 . A . . . local badminton champion. Richie Golden keeps the local poultry shops . . . - - . . . . . , . 1 O C , V O . . . . . . . . . ' . . U . . . . . . . 0 . . . . . U . . i . O l . . . I' O , . 2 . N . . . 1 .. . . ' ' . A rl 0 Q 1 I u I