Monson Academy - Academy Bell Yearbook (Monson, MA)

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CLASb PROPHECY It lb the year 1970 D16 men of the Class of 1950 at Monson, tlred of the trlals of the Western world, have retlred to the iar reaches of T1bet to form a model cooperat1ve soc1ety A casual ob- server of thlS buCOl1C hden would f1nd the govern ent of the communlty under the benevolent diCt8tOrSh1p of Mayor Ed Orwat Ass1st1ng h1m 1n the department of Flnance and Dog L1C6nSeS 15 James URedN Welch, who has H15 ear to the ground, h1s flnger on the pUb11C pulse, and oc cas1onally, lt 1S ieared, 1n the pUb1lC pocketbook HIS old 1r1end, Carl Rldgway, 1S employed under h1m as dog catcher and dr1VeT of the pound cart Billy Mack, resplendent in checkered vest and derby, labors under the OfflC1al t1tle of WComm1ss1oner of Ocean NaV1gat1On 'Though the ocean 1S two thousand m1les away and no one leaves the communlty, B11l'S lnfluence 15 w1de and h1s salary 1S munif1cent The buper1ntendent of bchools, Ed Stueb1, 1S Valnly try1ng to pass a law bT1Hg1Hg the m1n1mum school requlrements up to two hours a week John Whalen, the ar1thmet1c teacher at the local grammar school, P b O has gust formulated the theory that two plus two doesn't necessarlly make four Jacques Flscher, the local lnnkeeper, offers hosp1tal1ty to the weary and unwary traveler H15 hostelry 15 Wa b1t of downtown New York 1n Upper T1bet U At least that's what h1s ads cla1m, and h1s pT1C6S would seem to prove lt The Job of Off1C18l Town Cr1er 16 1n the competent hands of Bob Carpenter who 15 expected to howl once an hour on the hour Atop a 1970 elephant slts Edward J Foley, Fire COmmiSSlOn6P, who, even 1n 1950, was known to throw a wet blanket on a hot party The eccles1ast1cal HGC8SS1t16S of the communlty are suppl1ed by lhe R1ght Reverend NLutherU Burbank, who holds h1S annual servlce on the Fourth of July H15 ChO1T dlrector, Chet Smola, 1S known far and w1de for h1s magn1f1cent vers1on of Hymn 513, HThe Monson Flght Song U S1nCS the COmmHDlty stresses the 1mportance of m1nd over matter, the Phys1cal Culture organ1zat1on 15 under the talented d1rect1on of Y0g1 D1ck Llebe, who 1S Stlll able to scratch h1s leit ear Wlth h1S r1ght foot Walter Johnson, Ch1e1 Scout C0m lSSlOneT, has appolnted Danny wr1ght to be leader of the Beaver Patrol The patrol lS now work1ng on a progect to ass1m1late the G1r1 Scouts Earl Francls, the Town Sage, seated on a craggy emlnence h1gh above the communlty, medltates on the falll1'1gS of human1ty and seeks the key to h1S future 1n the fllght of the blrds The b1rds, however, seem st1ll to be f1y1ng 1n the wrong dlrectlon, CaUSlng apoplexy 1n poor, perplexed Earl Q. - I I Q - Q - . Q - , Q Q Q O -Q Q l Q Q f Q Q Q Q Q O Q Q Q -Q Q Q . - Q Q Q , Q - Q Q -,Q O Q Q Q Q L -Q . Q Q Q Q Q Q Q H C Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q - Q Q 0 , Q , Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q A Q I , Q Q - , I O , Q Q 0 Q Q - Q Q Q Q Q e I Q Q Q Q Q - ' 0 Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q O - - Q Q Q O O Q Q - Q Q Q Q Q a Q ,I Q Q Q Q Q Q f Q O Q Q Q Q Q 1 Q Q Q Q O Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q A Q Q Q , Q Q Q ,,Q . C Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q I Q 0 Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q- Q Q 0 Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q l

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Bob Slmons, who feels the com unlty 13 sl1ghtly out of step w1th hlmself, has founded a newspaper to vo1ce 'one man's 0p1HlOnS ' HBuckyW Vear 1S lead1ng a movement to ralse the level of local pol1t1cs George ieels that certaln reforms are necessary but is beglnnlng to learn that Nyou can't buck Clty Hall U Ed Shlvell, the lamp-l1ghter, 13 stlll engaged 1n sheddlng a llttle lxght on the dark ways of the c m- munlty Mlles Sebold, the town archltect, has been deslgning a model the future c1ty w1th toy blocks but has become so lmmersed ln hls blocks that he has found llttle t1me for bulldlng On a soap-box ln the square stands Dave Dougan earnestly exhortlng h1s iellowhcltizens to WCome to Uougan Dougan saves ' He also doubles ln brass at the cruller shop around the corner Among the more permanent land arks 1n the town are Cal Mann, h1s hurdy urd and h1s monley Cal 15 seen da11y on the streets dlspenslno btravlnsky and poor puns 1D equal proportlons to the enrapt onlookers Homovenlzed Yak mllk has been lntroduced into the reglon by the dalry iirm of Otls and Townend Pnese experts clalm that thelr new fortlfled product w1ll ure anythlng from lngrown toenalls to deflatlon o the pocketbook Art Clane, the sllver tongued orator from the banks of he Connectlcut, has engabed h1s talents 1n ralslng a fund for the b0C1GtY for the Preventlon of Cruelty to Monson Graduates Art has pro- moted ten thousand dollars so far for the fund but has been obl1Ded to use nlne thousand ol thls for entertalnlng prospects and other lncldental expenses Charles Pulsford, the prlnter, 1S buslly occupled 1n printlng textbooks durlng worklng hours and Par1s1an postcards after dark seems that the latter are more ln demand ln the local schools Paul Covlello, Monson Alu nl representatlve, has been appolnted to malntaln contact Wltn The Academy, and has been collectlng COHtTlDHtlOHS for the last tuentj year Paul's efiorts have netted hlm the spl ndld sum of f1ve dollars, whlch he has forwarded to Monson me grateful Acadenv dedlcated a sultable memorlal to the Class of 1950- a hand tooled, lea+her bound cuspldor Jack Parker nas strong contender lor Jack has been on the able ln an emer ency to let a frlend down proved to be the CON unlt5'S top athlete H6 1S a the Central AS13tlC 'lagpole slttlng champlonshlp pole for twentv years Mllton Andrews, as depend as ever, is known as the last man ln the community He lS the vlllave undertaler The only class member mlsslng from thls 11t+l6 settlement lS Ray Pauze who dld a d1s appearlng act at the Lon on Congregatlonal Church on Mav 28, 1950 and hasn't been seen slnce B111 cavnebln, hls former roommate, llshts a candle and blows taps every saturday nlvht at 12 OO P M 1n hls memory . Q . . . . . . . ' o . . . . . 0 . . . . . . . . L 0 . . . . . - - . . . . , . of . . . . . . . . . . 0 L . . . . .1 l . 0 . o . . ' . . A g L n , . .I . . . O' 9 . . . . o . . . ,- . . o . . . . . . . C - 5- .. - , - ' .. N - . ,T . . . . - Q ' ' 'I - 0 - .U . 1. . . . . . . . . . - . . o . . . . ' . It . . Y 4 O . . :- . . . . - . .- . ' 4 , - . . 1 T S. 9 . . H ,,- . - o . . . . u- o . -- . - r . .. 5 D I. . . . . . . , E ,-' . - . 1' . - . , - . . ks . . . f 0 D N l . . . . . . . A U 1 ' F cw rf ' A Q .V . . n . . . ' Q b H 1 . . . . D 4 o o I o