Monson Academy - Academy Bell Yearbook (Monson, MA)

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ARTICLE XXI. Points Chase leaves his sure-shot eye to Snooky CBB eyesl Reed. ARTICLE XXII. Bob Thomas leaves his traveling hair to Bud Behan. The question is, Bud, Is Bob leaving the hair, or is the hair leaving Bob? ARTICLE XXIII. Charles Atlas Palmer bequeaths his muscles to little Don McCray. ARTICLE XXIV. Elihu Frank Merriwell Martin leaves his sturdy ankles to Big Norman McMahon. ARTICLE XXV. Dick Green leaves nothing. ARTICLE XXVI. Eddy Lonczak leaves his nickname to Yodeler Kovler. ARTICLE XXVII. Lippie Lipman leaves lots of good advice to some unfortunate junior. ARTICLE XXVIII. Bob Hayward donates his outsize body to cover up powerful Bob The Build Blakey's rippling muscles. ARTICLE XXIX. Doc Aronson leaves all his earnest convictions firmly impressed upon Mr. Sweeney. ARTICLE XXX. Handsome Dick O'Malley bequeaths all his orange neckties to Gordon Gyngell. ARTICLE XXXI. Speedy Cohen leaves his heavy accelerator foot to julian Skidmore. ARTICLE XXXII. Bill Francis leaves, heaving a sigh of relief and murmuring: It was a long and hard pull, Dad, but I made it. A ARTICLE XXXIII. Dave Caplan leaves his single room to the junior who offers him the most. ARTICLE XXXIV. Bob The Coat Waugh leaves his coat to Bob Holland. We hope it won't be too loose across the back, Bob. ARTICLE XXXV. Willie Martin leaves his masterpiece, a manuscript entitled, How to be easy in three funny lessons. ARTICLE XXXVI. Irwin Swirsky bequeaths his good nature and quiet humor to his pal, Irwin Rosenthal. ARTICLE XXXVII. Alan Smiley leaves, as he came, wearing a big smile. ARTICLE XXXVIII. Bev Rogers leaves Larry Reed with the promise that she will return for the senior prom next year. However, Larry will probably pine away long before then. ARTICLE XXXIX. Dave M-M-Murphy Levin leaves his personality to his best friend, Bill Sullivan. ARTICLE XL. Dick Haetinger leaves his surplus clothing to some fortunate vet. ARTICLE XLI. Bob Bishop leaves his taxi to day students from out of town ARTICLE XLII. Ed Ellis bequeaths his two-place open-cockpit primary trainer to our young air-minded junior, Archie McConnell. ARTICLE XI..III. To our classmates, the greatest possible success, and the realization of all their ambitions. ARTICLE XLIV. Our last bequest, to our parents and to all our friends, our best wishes, and may their fondest dreams all come true. In testimony whereof we, the undersigned members of the Class of 1946, do set our hand and seal to this our first, last, and only will and testament, in this the month of May, the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and forty-six. In witness whereof are: , IOE MAX WUFF

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f CLASS PROPHECY It is another average 1956 day in Monson. The same large crowds are shopping about the beautiful spacious department stores. Streams of rocket cars roar through the subterra- nean passages as usual. The noon express to San Francisco has just passed over. Yes, its just another average day. - As Monson represents one of the leading cities of the U. S., let us spend a little time in looking over places of interest in this glorious metropolis. One of the outstanding attractions in Monson is its world-famous Monson Academy, known internationally as a great place of learning, and for the great men that it has produced in past years. This institution has brought forth such outstanding citizens as Mark Cohen, who is one of the leading dentists of the world today. His expression This won't hurt a bit is a by-word among dentists of the world. Another of the Academy's notables is that outstanding comedian of stage, screen, and radio, the man who is setting the world on fire with his hot gags and pantomime, Mickey Green . Mick at the present time is appearing at the Garden Theatre, where he had them rolling in the aisles till the usher took his dice away. Mickey's latest picture, Road to Homestead , is a scream. Don't miss itl One of today's outstanding athletes in the basketball world, Homer Chase, known by all as the sensational performer of the world-famous International All Stars,. is another of this great Academy's proteges. Next of interest in the metropolitan area are its fine theatres. The Monson Palladium's seating capacity of 2U,0UO, largest in the world, is run by the movie magnate duo of Bob Waugh and Dave Caplan. They feature this week on the stage Flute Swirsky and his jump band which has taken the U. S. by storm. Their rendition of the nation's number one hit Rocket Ship Blues is really something to be seen and heard. After the show a crowd is gathering at the corner. The crowd is getting larger by the minute. All traffic for blocks around has been stopped. Everything is in an uproar. The center of attraction is a man who has the largest crop of hair ever seen on a human head. It seems as though he is selling a tonic to people which is actually supposed to grow hair overnight. Looking more closely at him, we find him to be Baldy Thomas, who is making a mint with his new discovery. A siren is heard and a squad car of police arrive at the scene to break up the crowd. Out of the car jumps a big red-faced cop, waving a huge club at Baldy and yelling to his men to start the crowd moving. Yes, it's the efficient police captain of Precinct 47, Goldy Goldman, who has made so many arrests that five new jails had to be erected to hold his offenders. Moving away from this strife, one comes upon a beautiful restaurant, which has on the top of it a huge electric sign which reads, All you can hold for Sl.0U . The proprietor, Al Smiley, is doing very well. He uses midget waiters to make the sandwiches look bigger. Across from Al's diner is the Elite Taxi service, run by Bob Bishop. Bob now runs regular service from Monson to Palmer in his beautiful polka-dot, yellow-trimmed rocket cars. In Bob's office there is the latest issue of Oomph comics. On the back of the book is a familiar body. Under it it reads, I was once a 187-pound weakling. Look at me now, 130 lbs. of solid muscle You, too, can become as L have, if you remit Sl0U.OO to the Hayward course. A real body- bender course. Yes, it's our old friend, Bob Hayward. Out in the street a huge roar is heard, and the sky becomes black as it storms. No, it's just another of Eddie Ellis' stratosphere ships making its daily trip to the moon. This ship passes over every day at this hour. Yes, this Monson is a wonderful place. Some of the world's finest hotels are situated in this city. At every fifth block one may enter or see one of the famous Kelly Hotels, where everything is deluxe. Their owner, lim Kelly, features hot and cold running chamber maids. Every room is equipped with three water pipes - one for the hot water, one for the cold water, and one to pound on when the other two refuse to work. Wonderful establishment. Next to this eighty-eight story building is Haetinger's Hamburger Hacienda. This place is quite renowned for its unique food. The main dish being served is roast horse meat de la carte. Dick serves free meals to all veterans of the Great Wars. One of its most ardent customers is Eth-a Lonczak, who has yet to miss a meal. Ed has been doing research work for Chicopee High. It seems the school disappeared in a storm l t year, and so Eth-a is still looking for it.