Monmouth College - Ravelings Yearbook (Monmouth, IL)

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The Grand FAZOO Book One-Before the FAZOO Chapter One Once, not really long ago, there was a college in the middle of the cornfields. It was a small college and it was ruled by Tradition, the wise and able, who solved all the peoples problems with nice stories. Image in your mind, if you can, a concrete and glass building with a grass and asphalt mall separating it from other sundry buildings. In the middle of this mall, up towards the north end picture a great, long table with Chairs and people seated in those chairs. They are engaged in the monthly practice of holding public sessions of the Court of Tradition. It was a time when the people could see their government in action and although nothing consequential was usually accomplished, these m onthly meetings had tremendous PR value. Editor ' s Notebook Week One September 2: By now the football team has settled itself into routine practice. Running through tires is so much fun; New Saga Bob is bobbing his saga ' s... 3: Frederick Douglass escapes slavery, 1838; La- bor Day 1973... 4: An ode to the Health Ser. : Tlie miracles of modern science never cease. Tliey can take the chicken out of pox. Tliey can create life in a plastic box All these are good. All these are due. But the happiest thing the medi- science has done for me, Is place the college health service in obscurity. . . . 5: Orientation leaders arrive; Crazy Horse killed, 1877. . . 6: Freshman and new students arrive. Orientation begins. 7: New Student tests; Orientation movie, Wait until dark ; Tractor Pidl at prime beef festival is brought to you live and in full color until four a.m. . . 8: New student dance; New students get dis-orient- ed; Grape Strike, 1965

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k . lb » At the head of the table sits Tradition himself addressed by all as the Most Honourable Tradition Sir. To his right is The Honourable Legend. To the right of Honourable Legend is seated Ms. Information, and then Sir Belief, Sir Custom, and Sir Practice. To the left of The Most Honourable Tradition Sir is Surrender, and to his left the representatives of the people: Backgammon (a man of business and economics), The Right Reverand Correlation a man of Philosophy and Religion), Herodutus (no relation to the other great Greek), El Ron Cornucopia (a man of science) and Griswold (in charge of maintenance and other neat things). Each of the people seated at the aforementioned table had some official duty. Legend, who played second fiddle only because his name had fewer letters, was the backbone of the bureaucracy. Every morning he would place three or four good stories on the desk Tradition had in the administration building and proceed to the office of Ms. Information who spent her time compiling the stories from the date supplied by Sir Belief (the morale maker); Sir Custom (intent on keeping character sketches in line with previous Tradition tales); and Sir Practice (interested in what the people might do with the stories and also excellent with two hands). Ms. Information covered for Legend on some of the menial tasks. She sent out some of the best stories to local newspapers and other forms of media to have the small college in the middle of the cornfields brought to the attention of the public. She would also reg- ularly compile the Twenty Heavies From Tradition and send them to all the people who once attended the college. Many of these people would in turn donate funds to the institution. These Albanians Living Under a Misanthrope ' s Skepticism, or ALUMS, were generally prosperous and old. -.-