Mondovi High School - Mirror Yearbook (Mondovi, WI)

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:8 THE HIGH SCHOOL MIRROR Freshman—“We are having a hard time in our domestic science class. Sophomore—“How is that? Freshman—“W e are making rocks.” Teacher—“Who was Goliath? Freshman—“A man who belonged to the tribe of the Philippines. Junior—“The man who went in search of the Holy Grail.” “Oh, no; there ain't any favorites in this family, soliloquized Johnny. “Oh, no. If I b:te my fingernails. I catch it over the knuckles: but if the baby eats h's whole feet, they th nk it is cute.” Want Column. WANTED—Latest improved emergency brake to stop my speed through the halls—Lyle Howard. SENIORS—Several pages of valuable information -on the Elizabethian age so that we w'll be prepared for the next test. FOR SALE—Several miles of bluff under fair cultivation—Paul Walker. A banner entitled: Kiss me, kid; nothing makes me sick. Teacher—“Willie, what is a hypocrite?” Willie—“'A boy who comes to school with a smile on his face. Heard in English IV. The Boys: Frailty, thy name is woman. The Girls: Man delights not me. H. D.: Give thy thoughts no tongue. A. S.: One may smile and snvle and be a villian. “M. B.—“Say, I have an idea.” Senior—“I believe you have; I can hear it rattle. A Freshman (examining a broken window)—“Gee, this is more serious than I thought. It is broken on both sides. How is this for a senior, taking English: “As soon as bis wings would be growed---” Instructor in Physics—“Why doesn’t a diver turn over?” Student—“Because he usually has big feet.” Mr. Mutch—“Paul, can you explain absolute temperature so that Lynn can understand it? P. W.—“No, I don’t believe I can. P. W.— Didn't the thrashing machine resemble the capstan thirty years ago?” Mr. Mutch—“I don't remember. Miss Hahn (in German IV)—“Lynn, is that the way you read it when you prepared your lesson?” L. II.—“No, worse than that.”

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ER }BOD J I AVIGH “Tommy,” said the teacher, “can you tell me the meaning of ‘repentant’? “Yes, ma’am, answered Tommy. “It’s how a fellow’ feels when he get' caught at it.” Nobody Helped Him. A story of Scotch honesty is printed in a Dundee daily. A small boy had taken a prize for an exceptionally well drawn map. After the examination the master, a little doubtful, asked the lad: “Who helped you with this map, James?” “Nobody, sir.” “Come, now% tell me the truth. Didn’t your brother help you? “No, sir; he did it all.” A Natural Difficulty. Old Mose—“Well, Rastus, how is yo' gittin' along wid your rifmatic?” Little Rastus—“De noughts is all right, but the figgers done bother me yet.” A Sample of Senior English. The author of the book called The Spy” was w ritten by Cooper. Keen Cut. “Would you marry him it you were me? I’d marry any one who asked me if I were you. —Ex. Duty Held Him. The traveling salesman had four minutes in which to catch his train. “Can’t you go faster than this? he asked the street car conductor. “Yes,” the bell ringer answered, “but I have to stay with my car. —Life. Does Heaven Know? Mrs. Clancey—“The daredevil would loight his poipe wid a stilk av dynamite, and---” Mrs. Hogan—“ Twas jest loike Tim. What’ll he be doin’ next?”—Puck. Amateur Work. “This poem was written by a prominent lawyer of this city, lias it any value?” “About as much value,” said the editor, “as a legal opinion written by a poet.”—Ex. 27

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THE HIGH SCHOOL MIRROR 2 . Quite Enough. During a discussion of Hie fitness of things in general, some one asked: “If a young man takes his best girl to the grand opera, spends $8 on a supper after the performance, and then takes her home in a taxicab, should he ki-s her goodnight?” n obi bachelor, who was present, growled, “I don’t think she ought to expect it. Seems to me he lias dcuie enough for her. —Ex. Inflated—Punctured. “Our college won.” They did? Kali! Kali! Rah! What did they win?” “The debate.” “Oil, pshaw. —Ex. A Treat Coming. Son—“Say, mamma, father broks this vase before he went out. Mother— Mv beautiful majolica vase! Wait till lie conies back, that’s all. Son—“May I stay up till lie does?”—Fliegende Plaetter. Who’s the Guy That Put— The Hump in Humphrey? The Mut in Mutch? The W alk in Walker? The Hill in Hilker? The ltee in Piesecker? Do You Recognize Them? We find” that Miss Hessing has been having a long vacation. “Well, that’s mighty queer” to Miss Paker. Mr. Mutch said as he was departing that “lie really didn't know. but that lie would have a good time while gone. Mr. Xeverman told them it was up to them not to get scarlet fever at home, but Miss Hahn replied, “Ah. well, I don’t believe that there is any danger. Miss Gillen put on her big furs, brushed up her traveling slang and started, while Miss Shea said never a word. First Freshie—“Aw, go on, I'm the guv that put the wood in the woodshed.” Second Freshie—“That’s nothing. I'm the rube that put the pain in the 1 »» glass. First Freshie—“Aw. you haven’t got me. You can’t drive a nail with a sponge, no matter bow hard you soak.it.” Joseph, I should think that you would be ashamed to be in the same class with boys so much smaller than yourself.” Well, mother, replied Joe. “I don’t look at it in that way. It makes me feel fine to see how proud the small boys are to be in the same class with a big boy like me.”—Ex. Tommy's Aunt—“Won't you have another piece of cake. Tommy? Tommy (on a visit)—“Xo, I thank j'ou.” Tommy’s Aunt— You seem to be suffering from a loss of appetite.” Tommy— That ain’t loss of appetite. What I’m sufferin' from, is politeness.