Mitchell High School - Warbler Yearbook (Mitchell, SD)

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Al MODERN SLANG Slang has l-ecome so important a part of the American languagre that to understand English we must know the common slang' terms. Slang falls into three large classes: P. S.: B. 0.3 and S. O. S. For those ol low I. Q., we shall explain that P. S. stands for poorest slang g R. O., bet- ter than tll'filIl2llyH slang, and S. 0. S.. just slips of speech that every- one oi' us makes every day. Ry way of illustration we might jazz up the story ot' 'Tloldilocks and the Three Bears. Once upon 2. time there were three bears who lived in a shack in the sticks. There was the big father bear, the middle-sized old lady bear. and the half'-pint sized offspring. One afternoon the old lady ha-d made some broth, but it was too hot to eat at once. The old man said: What d'ya say if we breeze around the works while we're waiting' to gargle the zoop? HO. K.. big boy! said the fraug and so the three bears wheeled out the crate tbody by Fischerl and took to the woods. While they were gone Goldilocks tyou can imagine what. she used. llet's say it was Golden Glint J chanced to be hoohng it past the Rear domicile. Hoyt Do I have sore dogs, or do I have sore dogs! Wish l could take on some nourishment and get a little shut eye. Next time l walk a mile for a Camel-Bah l Then she espied the little house of the bears. Heres where I take time out. So she walked up and pounded on the door. Just my luck! S'queer that people never stay hon'e any more. Tlzat's what Henry Ford has done for us. Home or not home, 'yours truly' is going' in! Thereupon she walked into the dump. Hot dorg'l chortled Goldilocks. Imagine it! Three bowls of soup or I'm a lousy idiot! I eschew did they know I was coming? And so she set about tasting the broth.

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1 Having failed at everything so far, I decided to use a foolproof re- cipe for my last meal-that is-the last one I was to cook. What would be more foolproof than pancakes made from prepared pancake flour? On the package of pancake flour it states that even a moron can bake excellent cakes if he follows the directions exactly. Well, I resent that statement, because I am not dumber than a moron-at least I hope not. I followed th-ose directions exactly to the grain of flour, and the pancakes I baked were about as light, tender and digestible as the plates we ate them on. I ate three of the cakes Q 'N and my brothers each downed two. The rest I gave to the dog and cat, but, being much more intelligent than either I or my brothers, they left them untouched. The next day, on which the girl my mother hired relieved me of culinary responsibility, was the happiest day of my life. I have told you of my failures at cooking, which are many, but, on the other hand, there are some foods which I am quite adept at pre- paring. I can make delicious ice cream-at least I think so, and I am usually successful at making chocolate fudge-that is-the fudge is practically always sweet and has a chocolate flavorg Therefore, to be a bachelor, I would merely have to revise my diet, and live on fudge, ice cream and apple sauce. -Donald Fort. ODE TO MARCH March, you're a turbulent fellow, Boisterous, rude, and untamed, Yet you bring to us glimpses of springtime, When hope springs eternal again. You drive out our woes and depression, You quench our grief-stricken tears, You bring to us new trust and courage, And a faith which can conquer our fears. So we greet you, O herald of Springtime! Blow ong blow drear winter away, And we welcome your pranks and your madness, Yo-u're the symbol of our new day. -Billie Johnston, '36.

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Whew! What soup! said she ,after tasting the first bowl. Who- ever inhales that needs a cast iron stomach. She tried the second bowl. For crying in the beer, is this a joke? This dope must have been in the frigid air! Wonder what's wrong with the third dish of colored water? To her surprise the soup in the third bowl was just right, and so with a cheery, Here's mud in your eye! she guzzled it all. Me for a snooze! said Goldilocks and plopped down in one of three chairs that adorned the room. Wotta chair! Wonder if the next one is any better? Oh! Oh! This chair must have been made for a bed-ridden skele- ton. She then tried the third chair which was fair to middling so she sat back, intending to get a good rest, when the chair gave way and she went boom. Goldilocks turned disgustingly to the stairway and ankled up, hop- ing for the best and expecting the worst. To her surprise she found one bed was quite the dope, so she crawled in and began to saw wood. Presently, if not sooner, the three bears came home to inhale the zoop. Well, I'll be a .... WX! Someone has been monkeying with my broth, said the old man. Aw nurtz, said the young hopeful, someone has eaten all of my soup. About this time Pa Bear was overcome, so he lumbered over to sit in his favorite chair. Three rousing coisesl Someone has been sitting in my chair, roared he. Ya ain't got nuthin' on me, old sock. Someone has parked in my chair, too, said the head of the family. Don't I get the breaks! said Half-Pint. Someone has been sit- ting' in my chair and has broken it all to pieces! Then they went upstairs. Hot cha ! said the Old Man. Someone has been lying on my bed. Hells bells, said the mater, someone has been on my bed, too. z Well, the big So and Sog here she is in my bed, said the son and heir. About this time Goldilocks came to and lamped the bears. Is this another case of 'Pink Elephants'? said she to herself. Goldilocks was abruptly disillusioned by the lusty Scram! uttered by Pa Bear. She descended the stairs a la Rhoads and ran home in nothing fiat. The Bears had pretzels and beer for supper.