Mitchell High School - Warbler Yearbook (Mitchell, SD)

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ll, JI P. M.-By the way, you remember Mimi McGovern. She goes by the name of Madame Mimi now and is running a fashionable hairdressing establishment in New York. Her most fashionable coiffure is the new laquer hairdress. The elite of the city pay plenty to achieve the desired effect, but we remember Mim iwhen she lacquered her own. Well, busi- ness was good until Harriet Aplin, while preparing for her twenty-third debut, lost all of her hair, due to careless treatment at Mimi's. Dr. Ray Starnes, president of the Gros-lik Weeds tonic manufacturers, had promised to restore her beautiful greying locks by stimulating the brain, causing cellulose to grow. However, after a more thorough examination, he stated that he couldn't grow enough hair from her brain to cover the head of a flea. V. D. fpicking up Police Gazettel-Police have found, on investi- gating the murder of Howie the Heartbreaker Tice, prominent gang- ster, that the deed was committed by Honky Tonk Tormey, his former moll. She was assisted by Hatchet-Head Dondelinger, for reasons best known to himself. Me-Catchum McKee of the Intelligence Dept., said: If we catch them, the dame will fry, by jing. P. M.-On November 1, Lowell Semans started his final campaign speech for president of the United States. He was assassinated by Sure- Shot Kempel on the fourth, at the climax of his speech. V. D.-Look at this snappy ad for Two-Bit Tillie Bates' new night club. Among her famous dime-a-dance girls are: Mary Annis, Eleanor Davies, Vivian Vermilyea, Anita Hurry, Ethel Parrett, Alice Hager and Dallas McConkey. This club also features gigolos that understand mis- understood women. Among these are Carl Riecke, Herbert Bradbury, Selmer Hegvold and Thomas Hersey. The representatives of the Tem- perance Guild. Eleanor Jenks and Flora Harbart, demanded that Governor Petersdorf either close the doors or get them jobs dancing there. P. M.-Our class is well represented in the financial world. On the board of directors for the new bank are Honest John Talbot, Bob f Hold- up Harrv J Short, and Perry the Pincher Conners. V. D.-I suppose you remember Dub Kenton. Well, he and Har- riet Dowdell Kenton have reached fame and fortune with the largest dairy farm in the country. Professor Kenton has just discovered a pro- cess which causes cows to give chocolate milk. P. M.--Here, read this. V. D.-Why, it's an announcement of Bernard Johnson's graduation. P. M.-Did you hear about Admiral Nepstad, who caught John Elliot flirting with his fiance, Ardis Prouty, and while trying to shoot him wit'h a twelve-inch gun he blew the bottom out of the ship? Radio Operator Harvey Ransom immediately sent out the S. O. S. A thrilling rescue was made by Captain Dickey of the Crook Tour Company. All hands were saved except those of that famous channel swimmer, Don Van Meter, who was last sighted off the cost of Africa. V. D.-What did you think of the big accident? P. M.-What big accident? V. D.-Willie Throm slipped while he was dancing the Carioca with Marcella Ludeman, last night. Among the injured were Dale Abernathy, Wilma Courtright, Velma Goodsell, John Johnson, Hazel Alsene, Harry Norman, and James Stevens. P., M.-Two million bucks. just think of that. That's how much that erratic old millionaire, Alvin Shuster, gave Mary Jean Herman and Mary Livernash for promising not to sing in public again for twenty years. V. D.-It seems the latest radio scandal is the WNAX tap dance

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CLASS PROPHECY Characters: Val Diehl and Paul McCarthy. Time: 1955. Place: Large Library. Setting: One man at tableg another enters. Paul McCarthy-Why, hello Val, sit down. Val Diehl-Well of all things, I haven't seen you since we graduated. Let me see-when was it? P. M.-The good old class of 1934, I believe. V. D.-Right. P. M.-I wonder what's become of our old class-mates? V. D.-Oh, they're probably all famous. Only yesterday I went into the Gay Paree in Chicago and the first thing I saw was Don Juan Hark- ness and his Vaqueros. Don was just introducing Phyllis Higgins Hark- ness singing I Came In To Get Out of the Wind, But Then I Met You, written by that famous couple, Helen Bliss and Maurice Gardner. P. M.-Is zat so? Well, that's nothing, did you read about Don 'Nlurphy getting twenty years in Sang-Sang. He found out that you couldn't work in John Lindquist's bank and take samples home. V. D.-Did you hear about Hal Dean and Edith Obele being married by that famous, dominating, iiery evangelist, Billy Don Fort, Monday? They were only engaged 21 years and two Weeks, and were they mad when Register of Deeds, Keith Smith, told them that they had to wait three days, after they got the license. P. M.-And how about the notorious Miller-Eliason divorce case 'Z Iler statement, as reported by Slats Satterlie, that old scandal snifter, was: He said two could live as cheaply as one, but I found out that that was only if one didn't eat. V. D.-And good old Pinchpenny Ellwein. No money has left the Il. S. Treasury since he became secretary. P. M.--Ya, but George Janke was the last secretary of the treasury. V. D.-Oh, that explains it, there isn't any money in the treasury. P. M.-I wonder what Jeanne Gapp would be like if she hadn't died back in 1934? V. D.-Probably another Mae West. Let me see, what was it she died from? Oh, yes, overworking-on the '34 Warbler. P. M.-Speaking of class-mates, did you hear about Cecil Rea being elected president of the C. S. C. ? V. D.-The C. S. C.? P. M.-Yeah, the City Street Cleaners. V. D.-Not only have members of our class become famous but also infamous. There was that murderer, Dale Andersen, who in an effort to kill a horse for mink meat, shot Dick Smith, who at the time was clean- ing the stable. P. M.-We have another president, too. Jayne Culver was elected head of the A. L. F. E., yesterdav. Her secretary, Nellie Lawrence Har- rington, widow of the late Dean Harrington of North Pole fame, stated: Though it is cold at the South Pole, we enjoy it here and feel that the 'After Life for Eskimos' society has done its bit. Just last week we closed up Don Wood's saloon. V. D.-Oh, yes, and I just read Alice Bonham's last novel, The Thundering Herd. She tells me that her book was inspired by her daze in the SubDeb Club.

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V 'il' . ' f twins, who turned out to be Merril Erler and Johnadee Stemler. Erler was using two tack hammers. P. M.-Phyllis Zehnpfennig, leader of the famous Three Bagger Babes, girls' baseball team, consisting of Vera Wynn Cfast, curving pitch- vrj, LaVail Throm Cslow but sure catcherl. Helen Alsene, Marjory Bailey, Throsa Graff, Maxine Halling, Dorothy Stevens and Lucile Rademacher, recently defeated the Hunky Dory Howlers, captained by Rex Anderson, and backed by Betty Cooney fsome backingl. The team consisted of Le-- land Barnes, Dona'd Evans, Vernon Storla, Don Roessler, Carlyle Navin, Ernest Lassegard, Wendel Way and Varley Trode. V. D.-Not changing the subject, but did you hear about Lloyd Rud- lolf having that harem in the South Seas? He used to have ten wives but Rose McKillip and Iola Minton died from hay-fever contracted from the grass skirts. Those remaining are: Gladys Beller, Mary Condran, Eileen Ilarrod, Doris Hunter. Ardus Marsh, Alice Severson and Brenese Sayles. P. M.--Boy, Odin Thompson sure got into trouble when he wrote thc hook of his love life. The day it was published 13 suits were filed against him, by the characters involved. These are Ardath Bundy, Roberta Crockett. Doris Helgerson, Milvera Hess, Alberta McMackin, Virginia Stentz, Etta Walker, Alma Wharton, Evelyn Yegge, Eva Tippery, Aileen llagge, Evelyn Midgard and Rose Sieberding. V. D.-And Prof. Edward Friis, B.V.D., famous mathematician, re- cently awarded first place to Cleo Long, in the search for the best figure in the U. S. A. Entrants for the contest were: Missfedl Cleo Long, the winner, Missfusedl Lucille Maxwell, Miss ftookenj Florence Hoffman, Missfunderstocdb Eleanor Moquist, Missfdemeanorb Marcella Sweeley. Missfbehavedl Anna Jarabeck. Missfledj Naomi Jones, Missffitl Marie Jenks, Missfinterpretedj Lucille Welch and Missfstepl Elvina Tilberg. P. M.-Gertrude Regan has become the head of No-dunk, the world's most exclusive college for girls. Yvonne Young is the most amusing teacher in the college. with her tales of her colorful past. How they ad- mire her Fortitude! That school is so exclusive that Mae Kienast, Marion Erwin, Myra James and Daisy Johnson, who have had their applications in since their graduation from High School. have just been admitted. Henry Gilbert and George Williams have not been admitted yet. ENTER DALE WILLIAMS AND DON PETERSON. D. W.-Come along here, Diehl! This other one is McCa1'thyg Don, you take him tc his cell. D. P.-All right, which is your cell? P. M.-Right next to my cell. Lives a babbling Wop. He thumbed his nose At an Irish cop. Please Nctice: IMMEDIATELY UPON THE PUBLICATION OF THIS ARTICLE THE CO-AUTHORS OF SAID ARTICLE WILL LEAVE FOR A TEN-YEAR TRIP IN THE WILDIS OF AFRICA. fSignedJ PAUL McCA-RTHY. VAL DIEHL.