Mitchell College - Thames Log Yearbook (New London, CT)

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Department of Athletics Brawn More College Brawn More, Connecticut April 14, 1974 To Dear Mr. XVeiser, Our national scouting staff has informed us that you are one the greatest boccie players in the New London area. We are especially impressed by your ability to toss the jack ball, which seems to have become a lost art in this age of decadence. What Brawn-More envisions in any athlete is a person who displays a flair, a flamboyance, a panache, if you will, for his respective sport. Our scouting staff has taken great interest in your panache and con- cludes that you have the potential for developing into the ace jack baller for the Brawn-More quartet. As you know, Brawn-More's boccie team has eamed a national reputation. Perennially, we are ranked among the top ten, according to the Dunkel Rating Index. So we hope that you do not take our plaudits with tongue in cheek. Our entire Athletic Department has evaluated your demonstrated abilities, and all three of us have concluded that you would represent Brawn-More well, because you personify the philosophy of boccie. Therefore, to obtain your services we are prepared to offer you the following: 1. A full boccie scholarship totaling 513,200.00 over a four-year period plus 31,000.00 for books and incidentals. 2. A work-detail consisting of sweeping an 8 by 10 foot room once each semester ftwice a yearj for which you will earn 358.80 per week allowing you to retain your amateur status unless you declare yourself a professional janitor.

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There are times when the man becomes deathly afraid, not of physical injury, but of indecisiveness, a harbinger of impending failure. These are crisis situations. Sometimes he loses sight of the puck in a scrambled entanglement of sticks, legs, and skates. Then, he relies upon his intuition in trying to position himself so that the invisible puck will meet him. Here, he plays a passive role and suffers from uncertainty. Intuition is very important to a man in such a situation. At other times, he cannot react to a bullet-like shot from an enemy's stick. It is physiologically impossible for the mortal's neuro-muscular system to fire and contract in time to fend such a threat. He knows that feeling of impotence well. He sees what is happening but it is as though he were paralyzed for that split-second which seems an eternity. In a situation such as this, the man again relies upon precious intuition He guesses a predetermined path of fire and begins to react before the shot is actually taken. He saves, very often, in this manner, even though this method is his last resort. But he'll do anything to thwart failure. Such is the nature of this man and his position. When his mission is over, the man, if successful, receives, at best, meager plaudits from his confederates and const- ituency. If he has failed, he receives nothing for his efforts though they were no less noble. In either case, is the private hell of this man worthy of his confederates, his constituency, or himself? Ask him. He'll say, I don't know. Such is the man's nature determined by his mission.

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3. A three-room, furnished apartment complete with kitchen, color T.V., double bed, and private bath. 4. A letter of introduction to several voluptuous girls of fine repute. 5. Unlimited use of a 1974, Black Cadillac Eldorado. 6. An unlimited supply of alcohol to be used only for medicinal purposes as prescribed by Brawn-More's psychological counselor fwho is very understandingj. 7. A public relations expert, at your disposal, to explain all of the above to the press. 8 And last, but not least, a college education. We at Brawn-More sincerely hope that you select the right college for you, Bud. We personally feel that you would find our college in keeping with your life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. If you have any questions, Bud, please feel free to call, write, or visit me personally at your convenience. If, for personal reasons, you do not choose to attend Brawn-More, or it you feel that our academic curriculum is too strenuous, our resourceful placement service will gladly assist in slipping you into a reputable junior college in your home town. Then, after a brief two-year stint, we will exercise our unwritten reserve clause and expect you to transfer to The Big B. Good luck, Bud, in all your endeavors. Knowing that you are worldly-wise, we feel that this is an offer you cannot refuse. Hope to see you soon as a member of The Big B Boccie Machine during the '74-'75 season. Once again, Bud, good luck and good boccie! Your friend, Guido Baciagule Director of Athletics Brawn-More College Brawn-More, Connecticut joseph Krakol